Water also needs a "trigger" to exist. It requires that two hydrogen atoms combine with one oxygen atom. And why could you not put it back together? If you reset the conditions, the fire would continue to burn. I don't know if you read that link I gave you (the second one), but it explains how a combustion reaction is self perpetuating. If all the prior conditions were recreated, the reaction and, inherently the flame, would continue.
You're right, though. Fire can be destroyed and created. Puddles can be destroyed and created. Chairs can be destroyed and created. That's because these things are neither matter nor energy, they are concepts. They are composed of matter and energy, but are not defined as the very matter and energy they are composed of.
Fire is literally invented by humans. "Fire" as a concept cannot be found in nature. This is not to say that fire does not exist. What it means is that fire is a human idea designed to refer to a very specific chemical reaction, but more accurately to describe the perceived heat and light that is characteristic of that reaction. Thus, fire is conceptually comparable to a puddle of water. Fire comes in and out of existence in the exact same way that a puddle or a chair does. It's components are reorganized in such a fashion that the concept no longer applies and is therefore no longer a chair or a puddle.
Furthermore, your analogy for fire responding to stimuli was poor. By the same logic, throwing a nail into acid and causing it to dissolve could be called feeding the dissolving if we threw more nails in. We could say that any such reaction is alive, which is simply not true.
Your definition of "being born" if I'm to extrapolate from your example, could apply to virtually anything. We all know how fire is "born" as it has been discussed in this thread and the link I provided. It's "born" of causing the proper chemical reaction to produce the light and heat in a way that we call it "fire" (I.e. assembling the proper components in such a way that the concept of a "fire" can describe them). Much the same as assembling scraps of wood in the proper shape will "give birth" to what we know as a "chair". No cell division has occurred, which is integral to defining what life is. In fact, we don't need any cells at all to have fire.
Life is a self perpetuating process. Fire lacks the capacity to create duplicates of itself. There is no objective way to say which fire is where, as we can only objectively say where any given energy that we perceive to be fire is, but even that is constantly moving and changing into something other than fire. We can certainly divide the burning objects and distance themselves from each other, but has a new fire really been created in this way? The answer is no. Since the energy that you perceive to be fire at any given instance will have changed into something that is not fire, but other energy would have moved into its place in the mean time. Ever notice how fire flickers and moves? That's because the energy is moving. The heat dissipates, the light escapes in all directions and is lost in the environment. This is relevant because the "fire" as a concept stays in one place. You can have more than one "fire" conceptually. But there is no objective way to measure where a "fire" is. It is merely a concept to describe the particular arrangement of energy, which is constantly changing and moving. We can measure how much heat and light is being given off, from where, and how far apart the reactions are occurring, but how do you actually say when one fire becomes another? If we take one fire, split the burning object in two, and add enough fule to make each half burn as big as the whole, that would be like cutting half of my dissolving nail off, moving it away and adding two more nail halves to each.
Lastly, fire does not grow. You can make a fire larger, but it does not grow in the same way that a living thing grows. Saying a fire grows because it's "bigger" is the same as saying my chair grows because I added more wood to it. Or that my dissolving is growing because I threw in more nails.
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