Understanding Anxiety

[Zhaylin]

What does everyone know about the subject? I've posted other threads about this topic and it's a subject I've looked into extensively. But I still don't understand it. Prime example: My anxiety manifests itself as physical symptoms: jitters and "adrenaline surges", difficulty getting "enough" air. Unmedicated, I become cataplexic. But very RARELY do I consciously ever "stress out". With very few exceptions, I'm not one to dwell on: "these people are going to think I'm studpid"; "I'm going to crash"; "my house will burn down" etc. So why the heck does my BODY go whacky without any mental anguish???!! Just now, I was trying to leave the RV to pick up my son from highschool then go to the Farm. My transmission fell. I was stuck right around the corner from the RV at Exxon. People tried helping, I tried trouble-shooting, nothing worked. I made some phone calls and arranged for my son to be picked up and taken home and I walked 10 minutes back to the RV where I'll spend the next few hours watching Netflix and Hulu until my hubby comes home from surgery (he's the surgeon). Throughout the whole thing, I was smiling, polite and shaking my head/laughing to myself (when alone lol). But the adrenaline surges haven't stopped. Surges feel to me like adrenaline rushes and cause a tingling sensation primarily around my mouth/nose then the rest of my face, hands then the rest of my body. I know exactly WHAT causes them (anxiety) but not the freagin WHY. My hubby is an eye surgeon. I've been wanting a new car for a very long time now. Am I anxious about confronting him about the problem? Sure. He's a major grump, but I'm not going to be left high and dry so I'm not really stressing it. I guess I'm dreading his grumpiness, but enough to warrant these attacks? It just doesn't seem likely. Needless to say, I started taking my meds again, but they wont start working for a couple of days (I took a "holiday" and have been off of them since Friday). I get the surges even while on meds though, just not as badly. Does anyone have any words of wisdom to help me understand this whole process. I was always taught to confront your fears and the anxiety would lessen with exposure. Such is simply not true for me. I KNOW what's going on, but the anxiety stays with me and it's annoying the life out of me. These attacks strike even when I'm doing something enjoyable and practically stress-free. IT MAKES NO SENSE!!!!

[grasshoppa]

My anxiety attacks come from symptoms that make me feel like something bad is going to happen to me. Just yesterday I had an anxiety attack because I had 3 very strong heart palpitations in a row. My heart started racing. The Symptoms feed the paranoia, the paranoia feeds the symptoms and the viscious cycle of anxiety begins. I don't take any medication because I can usually grind through them, although there have been cases where I would have gladly taken a seditive. It is true that you need to face your fears, but that isn't enough. You need to take action against your fear. For me, it is eating healthy and staying fit to the best of my ability (because my fear is having a stroke or heart attack). In my case, it seems as though I'll never fully get rid of it, it's something you need to live with, and learn to control and prevent to the best of your ability. Although, anxiety can come out of nowhere sometimes. I've had full blown panic attacks hit me while I was gaming, it's horrible and unexpected. As for the surges, I think I've felt these before. Does it feel like a pulse (or multiple) going through your whole body? I have no idea what explaination there is for that. I know anxiety does active the adrenaline in your body. The anxiety triggers flight or flight responses in your brain, and your body starts secreting adrenaline. I've found that physical exertion works very well for preventing anxiety. I work out, stretch and do taijiquan regularly. I've realized that your thoughts create emotions, and your emotions create a physical reaction, and this also works in reverse. So calming excersizes will calm your emotions which will calm your thoughts. You just need to find what works for you, because it's probably not the same for everyone.

[Zhaylin]

Many thanks for the reply! "I've realized that your thoughts create emotions, and your emotions create a physical reaction, and this also works in reverse." I guess that's what I have the hardest time accepting. I've always been of the mindset of, for instance: "Don't give me a Tylenol and tell me it will get rid of my headache. Tell me instead why I have the headache to begin with." I like being able to trace an obvious cause and effect. In my case it seems to be that my body is registering and reacting to stressors that don't reach me on a logical/emotional level. And when I try to rationalize what I'm experiencing it angers and annoys me to an extreme. Like now, I have SEVERE unpassable gas. Another side effect, silly enough, of anxiety. I've monitored my breathing- am I hyperventilating which causes me to swollow air? I honestly don't think so. I've been doubled over for almost 2 hours now, off and on- WTH? And I'm brutally honest with myself and very hard on myself. I'm not one to hide from difficult emotions, so I don't think I'm actively suppressing anything. GRRRR I'm exercising a lot now-a-days, but my diet still royally sucks. A lot of days, I'll consume under 700 calories from food. But even when doing everything I should, I've noticed no lingering benefits with my anxiety. A pulse is somewhat what the surges feel like. It's like when someone jumps out in front of you or you think for a moment that you're about to get into a car accident. You're body "surges" with a rush of adrenaline but quickly subsides when you realize the danger has passed or there was no danger. At my worst, I can have such surges every 1-3 minutes for hours on end and then those hours stretch into days, and then I collapse from exhaustion and sleep for an entire day or more even if I've had plenty of sleep.

[grasshoppa]

ah thats a different type of surge. I feel those types of surges in my gut, and then it kind of rains down on me. Hard toe explain. Another good thing to do with anxiety (but sometimes hard) is just to accecpt you are having a panic attack. It sounds stupid because you KNOW you are having one. Say things like "Yes, I am having a panic attack" "This will pass, I am fine". Sometimes it's hard to do that, but it has given me momentary relief, which helps get me out of the rut.

[Zhaylin]

I think I understand, though I've not had many episodes of the sort you describe. I guess that's what bothers me most. I despise having to take meds. But if I don't I "pass out" (the surges become constant, then my body weakens, I speak as if I've had a stroke, I lose control of my muscles then I fall asleep no matter what I'm doing- talking, driving, relaxing whatever). I accept that I'm having an attack and I ride it out but I become extremely angry with myself. I know what's going on but then I start berating myself for not having any control. I despise not being able to have control over something that boggles my mind so much. If it was low blood sugar, diabetes, a heart problem, whatever, I could accept it because THAT would make sense. But to have these things spring on me for no apparent reason, it just makes me want to bang my head into a wall out of annoyed and self-loathing frustration. **Edit** Thankfully, the meds took no time at all to work. A couple hours after I took them, the surges began diminishing greatly and today I've rarely had one, but I'm more emotional. Hubby was grumbling about money and how I would have nothing if I was still married to my ex and I asked him if he was mad at me and I nearly broke into tears. When he left I did shed a couple tears, but reminded myself that's just who he is and he doesn't mean anything personal. Sure enough, he called me to explain more deeply that he wasn't mad at me and he was just stewing because of the State. I was too tired to drive home last night and thought I would be safe from a State visit because it's a holiday and all. I called my kids to check in and the Social Worker was at the house talking to them :banghead: But I spoke with her and it seems all is well. She understands I can do nothing about my car and knows I'll be back home later today. Do I have anxiety about all this? Yes. But I have no surges God bless the "little things"