dream visits from the dead

**jessicamarie** · 01-17-2004 03:07 PM

In my dream last night, I was visited by my 26-year old cousin, Kelli. In waking life, she shot and killed herself in September. I guess I'm posting wondering if anyone else has had visits from dead friends/relatives.

I know my mom says that after her best friend died of cancer, she had a dream where her friend came to her and mom said, "But your dead." And the friend said, "I know, but I'm here to comfort you."

I just wonder how common this and what people think about it. Is it a mechanism our psyche uses to reconsile someones death or to some how comfort ourselves or are these dream visits outside of ourselves?

Well, here's what I dreamed last night:

Kelli was in the dining room. I wasn’t shocked to see her. We started talking and joking and I hugged her, telling her it was good to see her. I really meant it too. I had missed her. We were looking at all the cookies and we found some that the people had set on the stove after they decorated them and they had sort of melted out of shape. I mentioned that that had been a mistake or something along those lines and Kelli said, “Well, sometimes you can’t know.” The statement, I knew, was in reference to her shooting herself. She sounded regretful, but not sad. I followed her back to her parents’ bedroom and she looked around to make sure no one was coming and she reached under their bed and pulled out a blue knit dress. It was covered in blood. The room was dark and I couldn’t see it well, but I drew back and was a bit horrified. She just seemed facinated. She said that had been what she was wearing when she shot herself. It wasn’t as bloody as I thought it was going to be. As she leaned down to put the dress away, I thought, “Why doesn’t she have a scar?” I began to wonder how she had survived and not been brain damaged, but the train of thought whisped away as they do in dreams and she walked over to her mother’s closet and pulled out a bathing suit. She said that a friend had found her and that this is what the friend had been wearing. It was soaked in blood. She took it over to right under the light in the closet and began pointing out white stains that she said were brain matter. She was very disconnected from it and almost facinated by the whole thing. I wish I had become lucid so I could have really talked to her in the dream. I hope she comes back again so I can try that.

That's another question I have. Has anyone had a lucid experience with a dead relative/friend?

**Allmjm** · 01-17-2004 04:40 PM

I've read that some people use seeing dead family members etc as their dream sign. Right now I always just accept what I see in dreams. Next time you have a dream with dead relatives in it think to your self “how could I be here with them if they died”
Martin

**phantasy** · 01-17-2004 08:59 PM

Wow, sounds just a movie.....sorry, but your dream was kinda creepy, I'm surprised you didn't get scared or feel it was a nightmare.
Good luck with trying to get her again in your dreams.

**BlueMystik** · 01-19-2004 12:08 AM

I had one of those except the realtive was in real life still alive...

**jacobo** · 01-19-2004 12:13 AM

i've had one like that. i was at a family reunion and all my dead relatives were there. i didn't really talk to them but they were all sitting at the table haveing a feast.

**jessicamarie** · 01-19-2004 05:01 AM

I have been thinking more about this dream since I had it and I've come to the conclusion that it was not my brain generating a story as a way to comfort me over Kelli's death.

While in the dream, I was not emotionally moved in any major way other than a breif repulsion at the bloody clothes. I have this feeling that the dream occurred because Kelli needs something from me, maybe just to talk about what happened. That may sound way out there, but I just feel that for several reasons, she is just now beginning to realize what happened (meaning that she killed herself).

She just seemed curious in the dream about what she was showing me, like she was investigating what had happened, but without being upset. I find it very interesting also that she wanted to make sure her parents weren't going to walk in to the room before she pulled the clothes out. In waking life, her parents have existed in a sort of bubble of delusion and denial about Kelli's manic depression and her eventual self-distruction.

Well, I'm just speculating here, but I have a feeling that she will be back to my dreams (I'll keep you updated). I wouldn't be surprised if she just wants me to tell her what happened. Perhaps she's confused and is trying to piece things together about the very violent and abrupt end of her life.

Yes, so you can say I'm way out there and all that, but if you have something constuctive to say that would be cool.

**Serinanth** · 01-19-2004 07:31 AM

Coming to this forum usualy means wading way out into the deep water, (lots of times way over your head) no worries...

I havent had any dreams regarding dead realtives, so I can only speculate. My dad however had a very powerfull dream in which my Grandmother, (moms side) his inlaw Visited him. She basically died in his arms when she died. =/

I know I am not the only one that beleives places and things can take on memory of powerfull events and also unfortunatly trauma. Consiousness itself is not something that can be extinguised there is too much energy involved, even science says energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can be changed yes... Our will is capable of so much, one person can change the world, it has hapened before it will happen again. The spirit exists always on the astral, when we die, the connection to our brain and bodies is severed, but we still exist...if the spirit is still young it seeks another experience in the physical, but because her life was ended in such an abrupt and violent manner, her spirit is prbably very confused, its not the natural way of things, and yes, she is probably trying to figure out what is goin on. When we dream especialy in regards to yourself and other lucid dreamers being they are more aware of the dream world and often delve deeper than the normal chaotic nonsensical dream, are more in tune with the astral, making it easier for her to contact you.
I would not be surprised if you see her again either... Try and remember keep her in mind as a dream sign and hopefully you can go lucid and help her.

**jessicamarie** · 01-20-2004 04:04 AM

Serinanth - You Rock!

**Anodyne** · 01-21-2004 01:25 AM

I dream about my father who died over 10 years ago alot, but the weird thing is that the dreams always leaving me wanting to have gotten more out of the experience, like I feel he need to tell me something and never did. I also have never been able to have a lucid dream with him in it. On the other hand, I dream about my favorite decesed dog a lot. I often conjure her up in lucid dreams. My dreams of her always make me feel happy when I awake, like she was really visiting me. They're also more tactile than some other dreams because I hug her and really feel her warmth and fur. Strange.

**Ginko** · 01-21-2004 04:48 AM

Originally posted by Allmjm
I've read that some people use seeing dead family members etc as their dream sign. *Right now I always just accept what I see in dreams. *Next time you have a dream with dead relatives in it think to your self “how could I be here with them if they died”
Martin

It's true. I know this guy who sometimes just wakes himself when he sees his dead parent who recently died. This is how he comes to the relization that hes dreaming.

But he wasn't all that intrested in Lucid Dreaming, all he did was countinue playing me in the game. and callled me "Dream Boy" the rest of the day.

*sigh*
Whats a gift if you don't open it.

**rogue_noir** · 01-21-2004 07:27 AM

I had a dream where my grandfather was sleeping on the floor in my room and a bunch of people in my family were here feeling sad that he had some terminal illness. I had no memory, during this dream, that in reality, this same grandfather had already been dead for almost 9 years.

**Howie** · 02-10-2004 06:45 PM

I have had several dreams with my mother & best freind in them. They apeared by power of suggestion before I went to sleep (I think there is an actual term for this method.) Anyway, only three of them were lucid. But in the dreams I tried to communicate with them, but each time they would show some type of apprehension, like I was not supposed to talk to them. Maybe I myself was not ready to talk to them. I would like to turn them into what i would call a nice visit.
On a brighter note (Allmjm) it is good to see a fellow Clevelander in the forum. although the wether usually is not on such a bright note.

**Howie** · 02-10-2004 06:57 PM

I forgot to mention - good luck with another visit from your cousin.
I hope you can become lucid and interact. That power of suggestion thing I was talking about takes repeating your intentions & counting before you fall asleep. but you have to concentrate on only that intention so it is the last thing on your mind. Good luck and Keep us posted.

ld · 02-15-2004 08:17 AM

I once had a dream in which I was visited by a dead friend. I imediately became lucid. I tried to explain to him that this moment could not be real because he was dead. I recieved no response from him, only the feeling that he did not understand. I became very frustrated and confused. After waking and thinking about the dream I began to wonder if i shouldn't question the reality of seeing the deceased in a dream. I should have just kept talking and laughing with him. In a way it was a gift to be able to share another moment with him. Maybe it is possible that the dead live on in the dream world and that it is still possible to contact them through the dream state.

**Howie** · 02-16-2004 04:21 PM

IT is a Welcome LD!!
I know were you are coming from. I also have had this happen.
Not until the last one that I had did I get to interact and enjoy that persons company.

**CapeCodder** · 11-11-2004 07:38 PM

Hi... my first time posting. The "dream visits from the dead" topic is just one of the 3 or so reasons I found myself seeking out this site. My Dad died over 9 years ago of cancer. Shortly after his death, maybe around 6 months, I had the first dream about him I was able to remember. I remember the surprise, and I remeber accepting that yes- he REALLY was alive. Maybe Elvis & Jim Morrison couldn't do it, but somehow, my strong, intelligent, and determined father had found a way to beat the cancer.... Perhaps his death was REALLY the dream. YES, that was it! How could I ever believe that dream where he died! I was ALMOST fooled into thinking he was gone! What a joyous dream! ... Of course, I woke up & was confused at first. It took just a second to realize what was & wasn't real. Sure, I miss my Dad, and I don't think I had too much trouble accept his passing. We saw it coming... and he had lived a fairly full and sucessful life. Was it just wanting him back? If I had been able to say "oh, wait.. you're gone, so this MUST be a dream... or a dream sign", would I have felt 'less' tricked by the dream? I suppose that is why most people are here- to find out how to enter that dream instead of just watch it. Usually, when I DO realize I'm in a dream (whatever the level of confusion, fear, or pleasure), it's very shortly thereafter that I wake up. I guess that moment or minute between knowing & waking is lucid dreaming. But here is what I wonder: Is it better to know a "dead person" dream IS a dream, and that we're conjuring up the image we see (or MAYBE it comes from elsewhere), OR, is it better to be lost in a dream like this, and actually feel the emotions of what being with that person would be like.

**evangel** · 11-11-2004 08:10 PM

FYI: related thread

http://www.dreamviews.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=9275

**lbc302** · 11-11-2004 10:04 PM

Ok, two things. First of all, my father died 15 years ago. Every now and then I will dream about him, and usually in the dream he finds me, tells me he wasn't really dead, but had to fake his death somehow. I know that's not true, because I saw him in the coffin at the funeral. But everytime, it's really quite wonderful, because it feels like I get to visit with him for a while. On a strager note, my uncle Scott, when my great grandmother (his grandmother) died, he had a dream that night, where the phone rang. When he answered, it was her voice, and she said hello twice. He said she said hello, but it really meant, "Don't worry about me, I'm in heaven". And to make things twice as freaky... the night my father died, he had the exact same dream. The phone rang, and my Dad said hello twice to him. My uncle said the hellos meant "Don't worry about me, I'm in heaven" I was sort of jealous, I wish he would of called me. I probably wouldn't of known what to think of it at that time, I was only 8 years old. I do believe that with some people their connection to thoes who have passed on is stronger than others. I also believe that those who have crossed, can send you messages in dreams. I believe with all my heart that these "phone calls" were messages from my dead family members. CAll me crazy, but if it happened in your family, I bet you would believe as I do.

**evangel** · 11-12-2004 12:46 AM

I've had dreams (lucid) where I feel as if I am speaking to dead spirits (or vice versa), most notably ancestors or family members, however since I believe that speaking to the dead is something prohibited by God, I try to avoid such confrontations or am at the very least on my guard... I have asked these "spirits" things that may reveal their motives (such as: if they are indeed "dead spirits" why are they contacting me, etc.). Many times it is then revealed that they are not truly who or what I first thought them to be and were in fact either deceptive spirits or manifestations of my own subconscious desires.

This being said, how does one know that things like one's will to speak to them, one's will to see them alive, one's will to know that they are "okay in the afterlife" etc. are not somehow triggering the subconscious so that there is a tendency to see, imagine, dream, "will" etc. such manifestations. I'm not saying that communication with the dead isn't possible or even probable. In fact I believe it is and can be done. But I also can't help but wonder if many times wishful thinking doesn't have a powerful effect on our perspectives of what is real.

Also regarding the spiritual realms: I also tend to be skeptical of spirits being benign (friendly), so I tend to question how one knows that such a manifestation is "good." In other words, how does one know that they are not being deceived by a lying/deceptive spirit who may have other deeper motives, say for example like trying to make one believe that talking to the dead is a "good" or desirable practice? I know this can be a touchy subject, especially when it comes to family members. Everyone wants to know or believe that loved ones are okay and to reconcile any fears or anxieties. So I don't mean to step on toes.

**lbc302** · 11-12-2004 03:54 PM

There is no toe stepping. It's all good. to each her own. That is true, there is no real way to tell. It's just that there was a very different feeling about these two phone call dreams. Who knows. It does appeal to what you would want to happen, but you never know.

**evangel** · 11-12-2004 08:24 PM

Originally posted by lbc302
to each her own.

that's his own, Scooby...

just kidding.

**BigSRanch** · 07-20-2005 02:03 PM

I used to regularly have dreams of my dead older brother. In these, he was aware that he'd died, and I was quite confused as to how we were talking. Usually he appeared as though he was not able to move or communicate well (sort of like rehabbing from a severe injury -- he died in a motorcycle accident 20 yrs ago).

Last night's dream was the first for several years. He was aware that he was dead, but seemed fine with it. He even joked how old and fat I was getting. I said that stuff happens. He smiled and said "not to me!" He said he was getting a kick out of being the "youngest" now (he was 31 when he died. All three remaining brothers are over 40).

Then he commented that no one calls him anymore. People used to call all the time, but they've quit calling. I said "You're dead. I don't know how to call you." He said "Well, you called me today. That's why I'm here." Then he said he had to go help Larry. Larry is our cousin who just died a couple months ago.

Then my dead grandmother showed up, wanting to know when my brother was going to move back home (meaning, move in with her). I said "I think he's going to go live with Larry for awhile." She said, "Well, next time you see him, tell him he needs to move back home."

This is by far the most "normal" dream I've had concerning dead relatives. It was very clear that they all knew they were dead, that they had adapted to it, and were in fact, getting along fine. I was very surprised that my brother wanted people to call him. I was even more surprised that my dead grandmother wanted me to pass a message to him. Sort of like when everyone was alive.

I wouldn't say this dream was disturbing, but it was certainly different, and I'm concerned that there are meanings in it that I'm missing.

**AmandaBaah!** · 07-21-2005 12:43 AM

Once in a while I have dreams about my grandmother who died of cancer when I was seven. In the dreams she never really died, only disapeared for a while.

**the beauty who sleeps** · 07-21-2005 04:48 AM

I actually dreamt of my grandmother who died about 5 years ago from cancer last night for the first time in years. After she died, I had a few odd dreams about her, than once while I was pregnant (which actually had to do with the pregnancy) and now last night. I've wanted to dream about my grandparents before but never was able to (I also have a hard time going lucid so it's not like I'm able to just bring on these dreams when I want them)

But in the dream I wasn't aware she was supposed to be dead, although I knew she was sick. I was getting ready to go to bed for the night and I hugged her. As I hugged her I began to cry and than told her I loved her. She shushed me gently and than said "Words are not important, it's what's in your heart that counts."

I didn't even remember this dream right away, I'd been awake about 5 minutes or so before the memory of it just sort of popped into my head.

But it does have me wondering, was it a visit from her or my own subconscious creating the dream.

**Universal Mind** · 07-21-2005 05:52 PM

I used to live in the house that my grandmother lived in when she died (before I moved in). One night, my brother spent the night with me, which he had done many times before because I lived in the Jackson city limits, near his favorite bars, while he lived in the suburbs. That night, I had a dream that I was sitting in front of my grandmother and she was looking at me, not talking, but communicating with her look that she still exists. The next morning, my brother told me (before I said a word about the dream to anybody) that he saw our grandmother in a dream and she said, "I told you I'm not dead."