social anxiety and lucid dreaming

[monlite]

Hello fellow onironauts. How are you all doing?. The reason for this message is to question if anybody sees potential in lucid dreaming for treating social anxiety http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_phobia and in that case, how should I proceed. I know this can not replace the aid of a good psychologist, but I have the impression the dream therapy is good for treating phobias, and social anxiety is just that. Thank you in advance for your opinions.

[Scruffy]

They say that the best way to overcome your fears is to face them. Lucid dreaming is no exception to this; in fact, it is probably the best example of that saying. I think the best place to start would be to just go around to dream characters, and try to initiate a conversation. Just introduce yourself, and then ask a question to get things going. Eventually, as you become more comfortable with doing this with dream characters, that confidence should transfer over to meetings in waking life. If you think your social anxiety is serious, I'd recomend talking to a therapist about it. What I said above is just a rough estimation of what would work best, and a therapist, if you mention dream therapy, could probably give you some much more useful information. Good luck!

[nesgirl119]

Originally posted by monlite Hello fellow onironauts. How are you all doing?. The reason for this message is to question if anybody sees potential in lucid dreaming for treating social anxiety http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_phobia and in that case, how should I proceed. I know this can not replace the aid of a good psychologist, but I have the impression the dream therapy is good for treating phobias, and social anxiety is just that. Thank you in advance for your opinions. You are not alone in that, you know. I have social anxiety as well, thanks to 7th grade. I do a D+ job of it when posting online, but when it comes to communication in real time, I am a failure. When it comes to my LDs, I prefer to spend them by myself, and knowing the dream characters are part of my imagination, if they make a mean comment, I can blast them!! Easy enough?

[mongreloctopus]

I have a general distaste for interacting with people in waking-reality, because it seems that most people are not worth the effort required. But I don't think that lucid dreaming can help you overcome this fear, because just the nature of lucid dreaming (that is, knowing it is just a dream) removes all responsibility and accountability from your actions. You can chat up as many guys and girls as you want in a dream with no problem or dance on a stage, naked, in front of millions of people...But when it comes to being awake...Well, we seem to put more value in this world--maybe because it remains relatively consistent and remembers to a certain degree what we do. I think you need to confront your fear in the realm it exists.

[Astromancer]

Social anxiety is very, very normal. It is specially ripe with online savvy peeps, as the social wizards are... you wouldn't have guessed this... out socializing. This prejudiced is precisely why they're so good: so much have they socialized that socializing is a subconscious thing for them – like a beating heart. They have a verbal slam-dunk to any situation, any person, because they've been in said situation and met a similar individual many times previously. If all your friends are stunning chicks, talking to a stunning woman at whim is as easy as taking a leak – hell; you do it all the time! Socializing is an art: with art you need practise to master. In martial arts, you practise the same execution again, and again, and again; and in many different positions with many different opponents. Eventually the most efficient (simple) and effective (powerful) reaction will be your standard subconscious execution. You will eventually improvise a long series of executions like a master – make it look like its easy, and indeed it will be. Socializing is just the same. It’s a skill that needs constant practise to master. Hell, even the masters can’t do it everyday and at all times. You need to be in the right mood with either complete indifference or completely positive thoughts to own a social group. This is why a person like you, who needs to consciously work at this, will eventually be a social wizard, because you get a buz from positive social reactions and interactions. If you get some you’ll become addicted and arduously seek more and more. Thusly, I'll give you a few extremely tough scenarios you should LD and try and conquer again, and again, and again till you do it without thinking - because thinking is a high-way to failure in any art. If you can do this like a super-star actor, it should be quite easy in real life. 1) Two girls, who are friends. You have to approach these beautiful, intimidating women. First get their attention, second get them intrigued and fascinated through your words and LD tricks, and third take them home and have a threesome. 2) You are speaking about socializing in front of a seated audience of 200 people, on a stage with a very sensitive microphone attached to your shirt. Live national broadcast, parents and all girls/boys u like watching. 3) You enter a club, and must become friends with four imposing, grunting alpha-like characters who initially dislike you and threaten a physical retribution against you. Befriend them, and ask them to watch you get head on the dance floor from one of their girlfriend’s.

[Astromancer]

Like to add a few things: I've used dreams to help me beat MA competitors I thought unbeatable. People who say they don't like other people should look deeper. It's your job to find the goodness in everybody. Think of every person as a portal to information, a game you play. Learn from them and teach them, give to them and take from them. Be open and the other person will be open, be kind and generous and the other person will be too. Value your time and your company, and they will too. Every person is a beautiful universe yearning to be explored And if you can't love everyone unconditionally, you cannot love yourself unconditionally. ^ my philosophy, that gives me great pleasure in waking life. Communication or socializing or emotional intelligence or whatever it is, is the key to success in life. It’s one a few and dwindling things that we are sure separates us from monkeys. It's the thing that spawned civilization and cities, and fashion and cooking, and seduction and everything man-made around us. Master it, and you master a greater part of modern life.

[monlite]

Hi all. Thank you for your replies guys and gals. Social anxiety is a complex problem, at least it is for me, it is different for everyone. I feel stressed in most social situations, but to a tolerable degree, but there are some situations that just kill me and try to avoid altogether like for example, going to class; people of my same age staring at me; sentimental relationships, etc... Unlike mongreloctopus I think I do like people (once I get to know them) and I feel very attached to the few I know well, but it is so difficult to interact with them, after years of this shit I can pretend I am relaxed, smile, having fun, but I am in tension, anxious or just panicking inside. when I first met a girl I asked her from which rubbish bin had she came from, in front of his father!, , why did I say that?, I was just looking for a funny introduction but I am so clumsy with my verbal abilities! . I know socialization is essential, I need people in my life, without them I can´t progress, I want a girlfriend, I want to be able to answer to a phone call, I want to finish my degree (which is difficult without going to class), I want to be able to walk straight to my destination without having to take the most deserted streets, I want to stop disappearing from peoples lifes. Astromancer, if I got it right you are suggesting to practice the total immersion technique by confronting my fears during my LD, is that right?, do you think it will have an effect on my waking life?. Your suggestions seem threatening but don´t mean much to me, I think I will put myself in my personal stressful situations. Is there anybody out there who has cured any kind of phobia through dream therapy?.

[Astromancer]

Aye, it will help you. Not only have dreams helped me overcome challengers in Martial Arts, I've read of at least one instance where LDs were used to overcome a fear. Some guy was scared of tigers, and he would always have this dream where he was confronted by a tiger, and the tiger would always nearly kill him and then he'd suddenly wake up. He spent many a dream trying to find the tiger's weakness, and eventually he managed to kill the tiger. He kept having the dreams however, till he defeated the tiger without even trying. The guy who wrote this (was in a book called Zen, I think) said after he defeated the tiger with his Martial Arts (MA) moves, he became immediately much superior at MA. Of course it’s not the only thing that you need to do, but it’ll help you accomplish other indispensable waking-life tasks. Like getting many social networks, ringing two to three people regularly, going ‘out’, etc. These things will come in time, but dreams will help you overcome them as they are only stumbling blocks when you haven’t experienced them. You’d use LDing to get past the initial fear of ringing a girl, for example. Once you realize it ain’t tough at all (that you can do it), you’ll be comfortable and relaxed and able to flow and improvise in real life. You need to understand that waking reality and dreaming reality are exactly the same. It’s all an imagination. Everything is subjective. Example: Some random person walking past two girls who are giggling might believe they are laughing AT him. If I see two girls giggling while I walk past, I’d immediately think: they dig me. You follow? And usually whatever you think or feel, the other person (especially females) pick up on this and go along with it. If you feel anxious when talking to your friends, no matter how hard you try to disguise it they WILL pick up on it and feel anxious and discomforted as well. You need to feel the emotions you want other people to have and feel – the emotions that magnetically attract people. You say those aren’t terribly stressing situations for you. What social situations would you find difficult man? Peace dude

[AirRick101]

I grew up pretty damn shy, so I think I have somethings to say. Well, first, don't rely soley on LD's to try to treat your social anxiety. Using LD's to help is very hit or miss, depending on your proficiency in the skill. But I don't deny their extreme value to working with any problem, period. I understand social phobia is hard to deal with, it's not something you can easily talk yourself out of when you're in a public situation. You just lack social confidence, although I cannot map out exactly how to get that, it's usually the issue for someone who has your problem. Take baby steps, are you good at recalling dreams yet? Everytime I do, I feel a little more centered and in touch with my subconscious self, and it's pretty gratifying. Also, find things, like talents, that you are good at. They are usually the pillars to feeling confident in the social world.