Thread: Need some lucid/parent help.

Hey guys and girls, I need some help. My parents are confused about lucid dreaming. We constantly have fights about LDing. They think that it's dangerous and not benefitting me in any way. I try to explain to them what it's all about and stuff like that, but they're so stubborn that they just won't listen to me or try to understand what it is. They think that with LDing, I'm not getting enough rest during the night, etc. The usual stuff. I know I can't convince my Dad, but my Mom is giving me a chance. I need to know how to explain LDing to her in a way that kinda doesn't well, "scare" you. I know that I can continue LDing regardless of what they say because it's all in your head, but they actually said that they don't want me to be on Dreamviews because it's full of "freaks." Any help would be greatly appreciated.

All lucid dreaming is is being aware you are dreaming during the dream, typically with you having some amount of control over what happens in the dream.

It dosen't get any simpler than that.

I try to explain it to them but they still don't understand. I think they need to experience it for themselves.

Just tell them that LDing is just dreaming. That's that. Something you do if you want it or not.
And also, I'm not a freak!

Originally Posted by Bonsay

Just tell them that LDing is just dreaming. That's that. Something you do if you want it or not.
And also, I'm not a freak!

I know, that's them, not me. I think you're all pretty damn cool

Tell them to read Exploring the World of Lucid Dreaming by Stephen Laberge, thats got tons of information, i'm currently reading it and its got a Q&A in which he answers questions such as "is lucid dreaming dangerous". Go for it dude

==I, too, am mortally offended ==

Mortally offended, that no-one answered my FAQ thread, since this one has also come up several times, with a successful conclusion. Though the issue could use a "tutorial" (endorsed article) of its own.

==Would Mom talk to us?==
I tried to come up with a better explanation for you, but I'm a bit defeatist/perfectionist and I'm sure you've already got a handle on any facts that would be useful. So: why not do what the last person did and invite your mom to explain why she's concerned, here on DV?

==Tiredness==
I can see why being tired would be a real concern. My reaction would be to try to explain as gguru1 said, LDs aren't actually any different from a real dream. They last the same amount of time, have the same sort of content, are physiologically identical, and can be just as hard to remember in detail. AND THEY'RE RELATIVELY INFREQUENT. You have time for about four cycles of sleep at night, with increasingly longer periods of REM (dreaming); an average of 1 lucid dream a night is exceptional.

==Lucidity as natural==

This gals dissertation showed "frequent" (once a month or more) lucid dreams in > 50% of school age children. That's all the science I can find, but it also showed lucid dreams decreasing with age, which is confirmed anecdotally. So it happens naturally in children, AND IT IS NOT RECOGNISED AS A DISORDER.

==Freaks==
Lucid Dreaming doesn't require the suspension of critical thought associated with New Age ideas. It has been documented scientifically in multiple independent peer reviewed studies, some of which can easily be found online.

The internet is full of freaks. Some of them joined DV. I believe DV is somewhere below average when it comes to freak content; it has a coherent purpose and many coherent members. I also believe it has a large proportion of young people on it, which means people are more likely to get carried away. But it is moderated (meaning: subject to review by moderators), there are adults present, and surely its a good thing that you can talk with people of the same age.

Thanks for the great replies everyone, I'm going to get my Mom to read over a couple of posts here

Woohoo! I'm a freak!

Seriously, I'm not sure what to tell you to do about your parents. I can't decide if they're overprotective or just terribly afraid of the unknown. I mean, how the heck do you get in a fight about dreams?

Originally Posted by Truffles

They think that with LDing, I'm not getting enough rest during the night

The body cycles through 4 stages of sleep each night. During those stages the majority of restorative work is carried out in REM sleep. Amusingly, you do not actually manipulate your sleep cycles during a LD, you merely take advantage of them. Nothing about lucidity implies that you can alter your sleep cycles or change your REM periods to a possible harmful effect, you just use those periods to become lucid.

In any case, there's no basis for that claim on any real level. Hell, the only real harmful thing about attaining lucidity is "old hag," and that's merely illusory, it doesn't actually harm your body.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/REM_sleep

I need to know how to explain LDing to her in a way that kinda doesn't well, "scare" you.

I can't see why they'd think LDs are scary in the first place. It's nothing more or less than being aware that you are in a dream. Some people have that naturally, (my brother) it comes to them as pure talent. Others (like us) need to develop that ability into a working skill. Ask your parents if they've ever realized they were dreaming, bravo, they've experienced low-level lucidity.

P.S. It might be kinda funny to point out that one definition of lucidity means "sanity."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucidity
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucid_dreaming

It's also a good idea to try and show them that lucidity, although being a relatively new field, is not "out there" with the likes of telekinesis, Ouji boards, Bigfoot, or whatever. Point out to your parents that lucidity actually surfaces in modern culture (careful with that one) and that actual reseach has been done.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_LaBerge
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lucidity_Institute
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucid_d...opular_culture

they don't want me to be on Dreamviews because it's full of "freaks."

Firstly, that sucks. Secondly, your parents said that?!?

I think they need to experience it for themselves.

Good luck with that one.

owch... hmmm. My parents found my dream journal and lucid to do list. Lets just say that it took a while to explain. They dont care because i have a psycology teacher whos into lucid dreaming. Realy just try and see if theyll forget or convince them (the truth) your just dreaming. As for freaks... do you know a place with more ppl who can explain the sleep cycles of the top of their heads. Plus i've yet to meet any nasty people. (but i have witnessed many heated arguments) Just remeber that its your own mind... and mabey have your parents read the tutorials
Happy dreaming.

Originally Posted by Silvanus350

Woohoo! I'm a freak!
The body cycles through 4 stages of sleep each night. During those stages the majority of restorative work is carried out in REM sleep. Amusingly, you do not actually manipulate your sleep cycles during a LD, you merely take advantage of them. Nothing about lucidity implies that you can alter your sleep cycles or change your REM periods to a possible harmful effect, you just use those periods to become lucid.

That's great, I tried to say that but that's really well put.

Originally Posted by Silvanus350

In any case, there's no basis for that claim on any real level. Hell, the only real harmful thing about attaining lucidity is "old hag," and that's merely illusory, it doesn't actually harm your body.

I've been practicing for months, was natural as a child, and haven't woken to the Hag (though I did go through sleep paralysis when I WILD'd). SP happens to people who don't have lucid dreams. I'm not saying it might'nt make it more likely, but I actually think False Awakenings are more disturbing.

Originally Posted by Silvanus350

I can't see why they'd think LDs are scary in the first place.

Easy. They're not sure what it is, or if they've had one, so its new, uncertain, and could have a bad effect. And it's to do with sleep, which is *very* important. And as you imply, lucid dreaming is a fringe subject and it looks, at a first glance, like one of many New Age fads which have no intrinsic value and endorse suspension of critical thinking. So they don't see any reason to take the risk.

Originally Posted by Silvanus350

P.S. It might be kinda funny to point out that one definition of lucidity means "sanity."

ROFLMAO. It wouldn't be very productive though!

Actually, it might be a good idea to drag your mom to the primary site (http://www.dreamviews.com/) and have her read the introductory links.

Your parents have offended me, but I am quick to forgive. You might want to show them this thread so they can see how nice and not freaks we are. Lucid dreaming actually heightens your awareness during waking hours so it can actually help you. Good luck man.

Originally Posted by Silvanus350

Actually, it might be a good idea to drag your mom to the primary site (http://www.dreamviews.com/) and have her read the introductory links.

Yup, they're pretty good.

You think she'll actually address us directly? :p

Hahaha I have heard of quite a few parents saying the same thing. I do not know however how it is that they get this idea in their head since it is completely wrong. You should let them view the main site and google Lucid Dreams and go to the wiki page which is jam packed with information that you could show them.

I've heard many stories of parents not being convinced by lucid dreaming. That's why I'm not telling my parents anything.

But yeah, getting them to read the primary site and maybe EWLD would be a good idea.

Originally Posted by Brandon Heat

Hahaha I have heard of quite a few parents saying the same thing. I do not know however how it is that they get this idea in their head since it is completely wrong. You should let them view the main site and google Lucid Dreams and go to the wiki page which is jam packed with information that you could show them.

Yeah, I showed her the Wiki page and she pretty well agrees that it's safe and just for fun. She also said that she will allow me on Dreamviews, but I'm not allowed on chat because for I all know, I could be talking to "a bunch of old men." Oh well. I'm just glad to be able to use this site and it's information. Thanks a lot guys!

Originally Posted by Truffles

Yeah, I showed her the Wiki page and she pretty well agrees that it's safe and just for fun. She also said that she will allow me on Dreamviews, but I'm not allowed on chat because for I all know, I could be talking to "a bunch of old men." Oh well. I'm just glad to be able to use this site and it's information. Thanks a lot guys!

No problem what do you think we are here for?

Originally Posted by Brandon Heat

No problem what do you think we are here for?

We're here to DREAM!

Well done on persuading your mum about lucid dreaming, Truffles. That must feel good.