Me and my bf fight all the time we have a long distance relationship, he thinks i never trust him cuz he looks at girls or whatever or porn and i always yell at him about it and we hang up and stuff.. and now he has a job and i get jealous that he might leave me.. and stuff like that... well..


I had this dream last night.. Its like i keep getting bad dreams, dont know whats wrong with me. I must be annoying everyone and Im sorry..-sighs-

I went thru my bf's computer and he had tons of amounts of porn, me and his sister did it and we were like eww how gross! And hes like go away dont look and he knew i was looking, then he said to me that he was seeing someone, becuase we saw something he subscribed to called singles dating, or whatever he subscribed to it.. and there were women twice his age on it, and he told me he was going to see someone and i said why are u sick of me? and he said no i just need somoene more exciting.. so anyways.. i left to my country to get revenge and my grandma showed me a line of guys i didnt like each one of them, then I saw this one guy who kept saying he liked me and we ballroom danced and nothing more, so I went back to america and told my bf that me and some guy ballroom danced, all he said was "okay.. good for you" .. well anyways.. I found out that he was writing letters to this woman, and i got extremely jealous, back and forth they talked.. in e-mail over yahoo on mine and his account that we share.. that made me soo angry.. she wus some blonde haired woman i asked him how old she was and he said he didnt know so he asked her and she said 41 and he said oh thats okay, I love you.
5 months passed and I found the e-mails about me how he said I was rotted and disgusting and I wouldnt leave him alone and she told him to come live by her and marry her. So he worked his butt off at where he works in real life from out of my dream and he bought her this diamond ring.. then told me they were getting engaged. I woke up..


I dont get my dream. Also, he payed out of his money a ticket for me to go and see him.. I felt bad that he did this yesterday.. I woke up a couple of times last night though wanting to know why he liked this other girl because it felt so real.. and It gave me a cramp in the stomach. Im excited about leaving, my plane ride comes on July 29th at 7:30 Im flying over there.. Im just.. nervous .. and I didnt like my dream.. maybe im afriad, or something. -shrugs-

Just wanted to share this with you guys,, my mind is too foggy. maybe there is something i should do like go watch a bit of tv and get something to eat to get my mind off that dream, and also i am real excited about going heh. Now we can spend our 3 year annaversary which is on August 3rd.