I wasnt sure where to post this, if a mod thinks its more fit for a different forum, please move it.

I'll start by saying I've never attempted to lucid dream before. These nightmares are the only lucid dreams I've experienced. I sometimes realize I am dreaming and cannot wake myself up. I've had experiences like this before, but very rarley. They are not a new occurance. I have memories of knowing I'm dreaming and being unable to wake as a child. I would try to scream for my mother but could not open my mouth, could not produce sound. Now they are occuring more frequently, so i decided to seek advice. They seem to occur most often when I am VERY tired, when I awake after sleeping for awhile and go back to sleep soon after, or when I take a midday nap.

This stuff is hard to describe so bear with me. I will start dreaming and be fully aware that I am dreaming. I get this strange sensation that I am warping. It feels like my body is going at super speeds, or I am falling. It is like being on a roller coaster or a free fall ride, except that it is extremly unpleasant. It feels like im going somewhere that I dont want to. With the warping I get threatening vibes and sometimes hear voices or sense angry/malicious presences. I also get images in my head sometimes, like a hand or a giant eye. I can "fight" the warping and somewhat stop it, but never entirely. I have also tried not fighting and letting the warping go, but it gets worse and worse. I get deeper and deeper into the warp and feelings of panic and fear overcome me. I am never able to let go of control and allow the warping to happen for very long, although I've tried. It is strange, I know that I know I'm dreaming, but I still get frightened and panicy. It is always the warping that keys me into the fact that im dreaming.

Here's the scary part. I'm unable to wake myself up when this happens. I feel traped in my head, disconnected from my body. I will tell myself, scream to myself, "YOUR'RE DREAMING WAKE UP WAKE UP". I try to force my eyes up but they won't budge. I try to sit up or roll over, and sometimes I do, but in the dream, not reality. I've even started banging my head against my railing, or biting my finger very hard to try to wake myself up. It takes 10 times the effort to do these things, and I feel myself moving, but in reality I am laying in bed not moving at all. I am not just dreaming I'm doing these things, I'm doing them willfully, but in my dream. (make sense?) I must stress im not actually sleep walking, I'n reality I'm laying immoble on my bed, but moving around in a dream world. Sometimes I will fall out of my bed, crawl under it, crawl around on my floor, open my door, go into my bathroom, ect. I am aware I am dreaming as I crawl around. I cannot see well at these times. My eyes feel shut and will not open, but I still see, very vaugely. Everything is very dark. There are no details, no clothes on the ground, no clock on the wall, no empty cans of soda on my desk. Maybe I just don't notice them. Maybe if I were to concentrate on seeing the details I might wake up. It is almost like I sense the objects in my room/hall, not see them. I have not tried looking up to see if my sleeping body is there, as I never think of it at the time. I have to consciously fight to keep control of the dream, it takes much effort and is very hard. If I let go of my control I go back to warping, which I never want to do as it is a horrible experience.

When I do wake up, it seems to randomly happen. I never seem able to force myself awake, it just happens on its own, but that doesnt keep me from trying, as the only alternative is to stop fighting and let the horrible warping take over. I always wake up in the same position I went to sleep in, on my side, with the pillow over my head, so I know Im not actually slamming my head against the rail, or biting myself.

I am looking for ideas and thoughts about this dream state.. Any clue on what this all means? Any thoughts about the warping? What about waking up? Anyone else have experiences like this? Anyone know what this is or exactly whats going on when it happens? Is this common? Am I crazy? Any resources about this type of thing?

My main problem right now is not being able to wake up, even though I know I'm dreaming. I am interested in figuring out how to wake myself up. Knowing you are dreaming but being unable to wake up and having to fight fight for control is a horrible experience. Once I get the peace of mind of being able to get out at will, I think I will be able to explore my dreamworld further.

My other problem is control. I have very little control during these lucid dreams. I have to expend all my effort into remaining in control and avoiding the warping. The only way I've been able to do that is to try to gain control of my body. Its like I have to fight to stay in my body, otherwise I begin to warp. I cannot focus on trying to change the scene, or fly, or anything, I have to focus on regaining control of my body and waking up. I would like to be able to change these experiences from unpleasant lucid nightmares to lucid dreams I can explore and enjoy. How do I take more control, change settings, fly, experience my fantasies, ect. ?

If anything I described doesn't make sense or is unclear, let me know, I will try to reword it.
Thanks alot for your help guys, I appreciate any input you may have. I know it was a long read.