Hi everybody!

Being new to this forum, I think I have to introduce myself...my (nick)name is raziel, I am from Greece ( I think this is quite obvious considering my mediocre use of English!) and I am 16 years old.

Dreams have always appealed to me, them being unstoppable, unpredictable and savage in nature. That's why I have always treated them as priceless gems. It is since I remember myself that I have been trying to preserve in my memory as many of them as I could.

During my childhood, there were some dreams which seemed to be too fond of my company so they gave me the pleasure of viewing them more that once (or twice)! Out of instinct (?), probably, upon their second or third appearance I wrote these down. As a result, I still have recollections of dreams I saw 8-9 years ago and they are still as vivid as they were when I first saw them. My, child’s, mind seemed to think that the fact that I had a recurring dream meant I would meet an old friend or someone I hadn’t met for a long time...

Anyways, I can say that I have been dreaming lucidly for the best part of my life so far. It's not as if I had, or still have, any kind of control over the frequency, intensity, length or lucidity of my LDs but there hasn't been a single time (at least not one I can remember!) that I needed an LD and didn’t get one! Let me make myself clear(er)... As a child apart from recurring dreams I also had recurring nightmares. There were mostly about me being executed in the most imaginative ways… What I mean with the phrase “most imaginative ways” is that it was never a soldier or executioner killing me with a gun or a sword; instead, it would be a priest(ess), a god(ess) or an innocent looking old lady that secretly practised pitch-black (!) magic killing me using thunders, athames (a word, of course, I didn’t know as a kid!), nooses or thick blood from their veins (yeah, I know, it is disgusting but I was a lonely child with enough imagination for my whole school! What would you expect?). It was at these nightmares that LD came into my life! In my dream, I would be waiting for my turn to get executed (for there almost always were people getting killed before me and usually I was unable but to watch!) and I would suddenly realise that I could escape! If I closed my eyes, made a wish about being in a different place and opened them again, voila, I would be there! I can’t remember how many times I have used this trick to my advantage…

My LDs stopped, or at least grew fewer, after my 13th birthday. This “dry spell”, which I suspect has something to do with puberty, lasted for two years. The good thing about this period is that it took my nightmares with it…

A year, or less, ago, I found out that I wasn’t the only guy out there that sent his nightmares to hell by envisioning a place he’d rather be! I also learned that there was a whole set of techniques which helped the one that practised them achieve this very type of dream I used to achieve during my nightmares. And the best part of it was that one needn’t go through a nightmare to achieve this type of dream! I was ecstatic! I learned whatever I could find on the net about LDing, discarding all the spiritual crap (no offence guys and gals out there, I just don’t believe one I cant find the Creational Force by dreaming, at least I didn’t!) and keeping everything ,or almost everything, else.

I was en route to my first real LD (more on real LDs and LD intuitions later…), having already made RCs a habit and keeping a DJ with an average 2 dreams a night when one ,that was really close to me, died an unexpected death. I was so shocked during her Wake and her Funeral that I did one RC after the other. I was mourning her for days and nights and I couldn’t think but of her… It was then (almost 4 months ago) that I tossed away my dream journal and gave up LDing. Why I did that, I know not!

Two weeks ago, at last, having coped with her death –completely-, I started keeping a DJ again and I registered myself here-something I have always wanted to do but never did. Everything, even my recollection, seems to be, slowly, getting back to normal. Everything but my RCs… I seem to be completely unable to make a habit out of it or, at least, stick to it for a single day! I will do an RC or two if I suddenly remember it during the day but I know it is not enough if I am ever to pass them to my subconscious as a procedure to be done when something out of the ordinary occurs…Primary culprit is the traumatic experience at the Wake and the Funeral, of course, but I have no idea how I can get over it or find a way around it. Help will be appreciated…

Remember me referring to real LDs and LD intuitions? Well, in my dreams so far I have this feeling that there is no logic behind my dreams or that things are so out of the ordinary, they might as well create a new reality. At this point, I usually realise I am dreaming and I instantly wake up. That’s what I call an LD intuition…

This post was supposed to be a short “hi everybody” message but instead, it turned out to be boringly long. Excuse me guys, I’ll get better with time…

So long,
raziel