Hi everyone. Not sure how this works - my first time posting a thread...

As this goes back many years with great detail I will try to explain my current situation in a nutshell - here goes...

After many years of similar occurances I have, within the past 6 months, been experiening the worst disturbances of my life at night. Often I hear a seriously loud banging and screaming in my ears when I am falling asleep. It scares me every time and seems to set the tone for the balance of the night - sleeping or awake (I honestly don't know if I'm aware of the difference anymore).

Following this, but not always, I feel like my hands, and sometimes my face, are bigger than they should be. I feel dizzy and out of balance with what I should be.

I cannot remember ever having an enjoyable dream - I always wake up terrrified or upset or just plain numb. I looked into sleep paralysis and many of the signs seem to be the same, but not all. For example I have never seen the typical shadow people or hat man (based on what I read) - but I am 'visited' by something. It used to always be in the room with me but sometimes it appears in my dreams. I can hear it talk sometimes but it's mouth never moves. To me it is terrifying.
I'm losing my mind with this because there have been times when I honestly thought I was awake when it came to me but I couldn't have been. The concept of not being able to tell the difference between dream and waking life scares me.

My nightmares can be utterly depraved at times but the worst ones involve some sort of building or structure that I am in. Almost every dream is as if it is set in an oasis - always surrounded by sand dunes in the distance. Come to think of it - I cannot remember a true nightmare ever being outside in the open.

I hope this is making some kind of sense - even I'm seeing how it can't.

Finally, when this new dark figure began coming to me a few months ago, I would wake up with multiple sctatches on my back, arms and legs. Some of them have been deep enough to draw blood - it has been on my sheets and pillows and even the head board. I need to mention that I have not had any scratches for a month now. I have to be doing them to myself but I don't know how, what with, or why I don't wake up from the pain whilst doing it.

I hope that was in-a-nutshell enough for everyone who reads this.

Any input would be appreciated so much.

Thank you!