Life of bad sleep - now worse than ever

[Jack714]

Hi everyone. Not sure how this works - my first time posting a thread... As this goes back many years with great detail I will try to explain my current situation in a nutshell - here goes... After many years of similar occurances I have, within the past 6 months, been experiening the worst disturbances of my life at night. Often I hear a seriously loud banging and screaming in my ears when I am falling asleep. It scares me every time and seems to set the tone for the balance of the night - sleeping or awake (I honestly don't know if I'm aware of the difference anymore). Following this, but not always, I feel like my hands, and sometimes my face, are bigger than they should be. I feel dizzy and out of balance with what I should be. I cannot remember ever having an enjoyable dream - I always wake up terrrified or upset or just plain numb. I looked into sleep paralysis and many of the signs seem to be the same, but not all. For example I have never seen the typical shadow people or hat man (based on what I read) - but I am 'visited' by something. It used to always be in the room with me but sometimes it appears in my dreams. I can hear it talk sometimes but it's mouth never moves. To me it is terrifying. I'm losing my mind with this because there have been times when I honestly thought I was awake when it came to me but I couldn't have been. The concept of not being able to tell the difference between dream and waking life scares me. My nightmares can be utterly depraved at times but the worst ones involve some sort of building or structure that I am in. Almost every dream is as if it is set in an oasis - always surrounded by sand dunes in the distance. Come to think of it - I cannot remember a true nightmare ever being outside in the open. I hope this is making some kind of sense - even I'm seeing how it can't. Finally, when this new dark figure began coming to me a few months ago, I would wake up with multiple sctatches on my back, arms and legs. Some of them have been deep enough to draw blood - it has been on my sheets and pillows and even the head board. I need to mention that I have not had any scratches for a month now. I have to be doing them to myself but I don't know how, what with, or why I don't wake up from the pain whilst doing it. I hope that was in-a-nutshell enough for everyone who reads this. Any input would be appreciated so much. Thank you!

[Threeofeight]

My friend scratches herself, it's usually a tell-tale sign of stress. Cats do it too. Maybe you have done some scratching when u where an infant perhaps. To my mind this might be the personality that surfaces and scratches itself. I think part of you wants to reconcile with you. And that's all there is to it. There's nothing to be afraid of there's certainly no psychological anomaly Despite what some people might say about it. This is pretty normal. Sleep paralysis and voices/intruders is pretty normal. I have a figure come to me and I swear I am awake. Every single time. But 100% it is a dream. To my mind dreams speak in a symbolic language. What you see is like a symbol of what youre mind's perspective is about the situation it is in.. i think what you need to do is to face it and you will see the nightmares transform. I can't know for sure ofcourse. But ye. Focus on the dream itself and try to work with it. That's my advise from a distance. i would not tie it in any real life situation just let the dream be a dream.

[Jack714]

Thank you for your response and advice. Last night was bad again and I woke up with three new scratches this morning that I can see on my back - I need to do something so your suggestion on focusing on the dream is a good one. I suppose it will just take some time. Have a seriously amazing day!

[KNightNox]

That is almost certainly a horrible case of hypnagogic Hallucinations and Sleep Paralysis. I'd really recommend going to a doctor that specializes in sleep, since there are very few people on here who are that well versed in the subject. Still, here goes my advice. The reason people experience Sleep Paralysis is because their mind stays awake while your body falls asleep, basically you're not falling asleep fast enough. So number one is a consistent sleep schedule that doesn't change even on weekends and offdays. You should sleep between 7 and 10 hours a day (that counts naps) and it might be beneficial for you to sleep a little less so that you really are tired in the evening. You also have to disconnect yourself from the idea that sleep will be horrible, a short Meditation before bed might help. Though basically nobody does it, a winddown period can improve sleep manyfold. This just means that you turn off all your electronics and blue light sources 1 hour before bed and engage in some relaxing activities. Common ones are showering, reading, drawing, light stretches and listening to music or ASMR. For deep sleep your room should be pitch black, 60 - 70 °F (15 - 21 °C) and quiet during the night. It may also be beneficial to play music while you sleep. Don't consume any stimulants or drugs like caffeine (which is found in many things), alcohol or nicotine. Eat your last meal 2 - 3 hours and your last snack 1 hour before bed, digestion really messes with some people's sleep. Eat diversely, get out into the sun during the day and do any exercise. This is general advice but it's incredible how much good levels of vitamins and minerals help you. And on the topic of nightmares, make them a dream sign. RC every time you're anxious or scared IRL. Once you can do that, nightmares will turn into lucid dreams. If you're stressed IRL then that may reflect in your dreams, so practice remaining calm if that's the case. If you're scared of being unable to distinguish between sleep and reality, start doing reality checks. They're quick and easy ways to definitely determine if you're dreaming. Trying to breathe through your pinched nose and checking the time or written passages twice are two of the most reliable RCs.

[Jack714]

Much appreciated - I will most certainly be putting that advice into action. I must admit, I do consume a large amount of caffeine during the day right up until I go to sleep. Hearing your advice on this made me ask myself how I could be so dim as to not to realize its probable effect on my sleep or, as you stated, lack thereof. I do believe that there are some deep-seated issues here that need to be attacked at the root but the caffeine, anxiety and lack of 'winding down' are probably just making their effect worse. Vicious circle. Thanks again for the suggestions - have a great day.