I just signed up for this forum as of 2:31am my time. You might wonder why someone is up that late, but I felt it in my heart that something or someplace was calling me. Trust me I understand how silly this sounds, but I've always been searching for something. You see I consider myself a Observer of Life.

It's hard to explain fully how I came to this, but when I was younger I was picked on very badly. Plus my parents were fighting which made life even tougher. My parents aren't bad parents, but they do have their problems as do most parents. Yet at this time it is when I tried to take my own life. I would sit with a knife at my heart ready to push it in, but never did I have the strength to actually take the final pludge.

I always felt like some force wouldn't allow it. There were times when I would try to run away as well, but always ended up coming back because I knew I had no place to go. I remember crying out and asking why I was being forced to suffer. It was also around this time that I became very spiritual. By spiritual I don't mean religous or religion. I adapted a form of meditation that I used regularly. to allow myself inner peace. This might have been why I started to notice something odd about my ownself.

You see my hearing became very senative, but most importantly I was able to reach REM dreaming state very quickly. Even though I'm out of pratice I believe I've been able to reach that state in under 7 minutes of going to sleep. I could also have a FULL dream within 1 or 2 minutes of time. The reason why I know this is because I used to wake up, take a shower, and then lay back down for a little while. When I lay back down I would usually fall back to sleep.

There's something else odd about my dreaming patterns. I remember them in full detail and not just one dream but I've remembered up to a large number of dreams in a single night. The dreams were as real as this world too. My prospectives in my dreams change very often. Sometimes I'm looking through my own eyes and other times it is almost like a movie where I'm seeing things from above. When the movie prospective happens I still feel what is going on with my dream character.

The reason I ask is this normal is because there is always a certain element to my dreams. When I take control of my dream or my dream characters is in a dangerious event my dream character becomes God like and sometimes even says they are a God. One dream where this happen my character told another in the dream that he was sorry that this is a dream and when I wake up everything would disappear. The character then responded that this isn't a dream and tried to say they are real. Is this normal?