Hi im new and cool

[TaZeR]

Hey everybody I'm new here and I'm bent on attaining these lucid dreams and have read a lot on the subject just taking the first few steps now such as keeping a dream journal and working on my dream recall. I guess my first problem is a lot of the time my dream world has very little shapes and colors that correspond to what it actually means, for example I can have the memory of interacting with a person and its only a bunch of feelings and an idea of what it was about but the person had no shape or face or a mix of the two a person could of just been a white box. On the occasions that I do have a dream that takes place someplace physical its always more like a movie with scenes and all I can remember is some random moments and never a whole or much that makes sense and it always seems very generic, not sure how to describe it very well. I think I have had semi-lucid experiences, I remember a few times near the morning I think it could have been after I woke up for a few seconds or not but anyway I think I did realize my dream was only a dream but even now I don't remember in which dream this occurred and as soon as it did my vision started going away and I could sense the normal waking world around me that I was in my bed etc, and I wanted to stay in the dream and I did try to concentrate but its like there was no chance. I have another point too that my life really sucks and I'm very depressed and I have lots of mental problems, not maybe like mental diseases but I made my own mental conditions with my mind and subconscious probably, so is it possible that the idea of whats possible inside a lucid dream is so amazing to me and the things I would do that upon achieving a lucid dream the idea that feeling so good could be possible would cancel my lucid dream? But anyway I'm going to keep doing my best at training myself and learning more hopefully with some help and support and sharing of experiences from this board I'll be on the Lucid Dreaming Wagon in no time!