Greetings

**Mercen_505** · 09-16-2008 02:49 AM

I've been lurking here for a few weeks, and have finally gotten around to registering so I can participate in the community.

I've been diligently working at my dream recall as well as doing scheduled and spontaneous RCs at least thirty times a day. I have yet to achieve a LD since I started just under a month ago, but I feel I'm getting very close. I've had a few LDs when I was growing up so I know what to expect when my work finally begins to pay dividends.

The recent death of my wife has left an impossibly huge rift in my life, so I'm trying to help fill in the gaps with lucid dreaming. It gives me something to fixate on that requires discipline as well as experimentation; two of my favorite things.

**Pastulio_** · 09-16-2008 03:08 AM

I'm very sorry about your wife, I wish you the best.

Mass RCs isn't always the best approach. I find it best to do them only if I think I might be dreaming. This leads to the questioning of reality, which helps with attaining lucidity. This guide explains things the best:

http://dreamviews.com/community/showthread.php?t=55740

Good luck, I hope your first lucid is very soon!

**Mercen_505** · 09-16-2008 01:38 PM

I've been checking at regularly scheduled intervals to get myself in the habit of checking even when nothing appears abnormal. My wife is obviously my most prominent dream sign, as she appears in my dreams every 2-3 nights, so I do a spontaneous RC every time I think of her or encounter something related to her (such as a picture or other memento).

**Shift** · 09-17-2008 12:48 AM

I am sorry to hear about your wife

In regards to LDing, it sounds like you are on a good track. I'd recommend just working on your recall, and doing RCs like you said you are. Try to do a couple of different RCs every time you check, in case one fails. And when you do them, try to stop, look around, and say, "How can I prove to myself that this isn't a dream." You're lucky you know what to expect, also! Good luck!

**Serendipity** · 09-17-2008 01:44 AM

Welcome Mercen, I'm so sorry to hear about the passing of your wife. It is wonderful that you are able to contact her in your dreams.

**Mercen_505** · 09-17-2008 03:56 PM

It is wonderful that you are able to contact her in your dreams.

Indeed it is, and I'm be remiss if I denied that seeing my wife (in one form or another) is one of the driving forces behind my getting into lucid dreaming. I made two separate half hearted attempts over the last decade, but this is the first time I've found myself emotionally invested to the point where I can keep at it.

If nothing else, it's nice to be able to remember some of my dreams on a nightly basis

**Shift** · 09-17-2008 04:13 PM

Originally Posted by Mercen_505

Indeed it is, and I'm be remiss if I denied that seeing my wife (in one form or another) is one of the driving forces behind my getting into lucid dreaming. I made two separate half hearted attempts over the last decade, but this is the first time I've found myself emotionally invested to the point where I can keep at it.

If nothing else, it's nice to be able to remember some of my dreams on a nightly basis

I know that it's not nearly on the same level, but I was able to do this with my childhood dog who I had for 15 years. It is definitely amazing, therapeutic, and just... I don't know. I'm not sure it's possible to put into words how good it is to see and hug someone that you never thought you'd see again.

If you are worried about this negatively influencing any experiences with visiting the deceased, don't read what I've written below. It's just an anecdote I'd like to share to help warn you, but sometimes reading such a thing may "make it so" in your dreams if you believe that that is how a dream will turn out. The whole point of what I wrote is to stress what you should do in case seeing her takes a negative turn, but if you are confident that seeing her will be an all-over positive experience, don't even waste your time reading it.

Spoiler for :

**Mercen_505** · 09-17-2008 05:55 PM

I know that it's not nearly on the same level, but I was able to do this with my childhood dog who I had for 15 years.

Sure, I can relate. I've had non lucid dreams where I visited some of my friends from school, and it felt amazingly wonderful to speak to them and grab a hug or two. I awoke feeling... immensely refreshed, almost euphoric.

It's just an anecdote I'd like to share to help warn you

Sage advice, actually, although I never considered that possibility. As my wife has always appeared before me happy and healthy I figure that's how she'd pop up if I had to summon her. Assuming things continue to progress, I plan to spend my first few lucid dreams getting acclimated and simply trying to maintain them as long as I can. The two that I had (one ten years ago, the other about a year ago) were viciously short... as in seconds. I won't be able to do anything substantial until I learn to sustain what I have.

I have no underlying grief or regrets nagging at me that I'm aware of, so I doubt I'll have any trouble when the time comes to see her again. The last thing I did was hug her, give her a kiss, then tuck her into bed as I said "I love you, sweetie." It doesn't get much better than that.