I know it is but this isn't helping me. I'll relax in other ways. I just get addicted to stuff and this is so time consuming. I HAVE to erase my account. Where can you do that? Mods?
Printable View
I know it is but this isn't helping me. I'll relax in other ways. I just get addicted to stuff and this is so time consuming. I HAVE to erase my account. Where can you do that? Mods?
That helped a little.
But I still need to get my shit sorted out.
Hard to see the beauty in everything and care so little when you're just stuck in your room for days cramming information in your head working up to that one moment. It's so not worth it but it's all I'm good at. God I'm getting emo. I need to erase my account before my feeling of embarrassment kicks in. Please someone?
What one moment? Your exam?
What about after that? Are you going to keep working up to another one moment?
Coz that's what most people do.
The only way to end that cycle is to end it now. You can either abandon all responsibility, and become Carou, or you can just enjoy the moment; enjoy right now, instead of struggling for god knows how long, hoping to enjoy one future moment.
Sometimes I can genuinely just enjoy. I'm not always working up to moments. But lately... Yeah. I normally even enjoy the exams but now I'm just thinking "I'm behind, I still need to do this and this and this, I need more time, etc." it's just too much and then I stop functioning at all and just hang out online. Then I feel extra guilty about it and freak out even more and.. that's the cycle. I need to erase something in the cycle otherwise I won't just let go so I'll cut off my internet for a while. I will really feel better when I've erased this account, I don't know why, I could also just not come on here again but somehow I'll find peace if it's erased. Is that completely insane? So if someone could please tell me how to do that... I'd really feel better.
Spoiler for Don't read this meeps, you're already happy :) I feel sad that this confession of mine isn't going to do any good since you already found resolve.:
Edit: Crap you left and are already content. Oh well, at least I did something. And Dianeva is right, I was going to add the death thing in my declaration, but she already did it in a simpler and shorter way.
I've just woken up with bruises, a slight hangover, and for some reason at 6am again. I had a dream that some guy had appeared in my bed and I was pissed off, trying to get him out. Then later he had told me he had been having a lucid dream and I'd woken him up, and he was even more pissed off than I was.
I hated how I felt, and said to myself "I have to do something." I didn't know what, but perhaps this thread contains what I'm looking for.
Wait... don't leave. Damn it Carousoul.
I'm glad for the conversation of the last pages. In the last couple days I've been forgetting, or never really did apply it to every aspect of life, but what Carousoul speaks of has been part of my general mindset over the last few months and has kept me from complete misery over many of the things that naturally consume my thoughts. Obligations, at least, and a few other things. Maybe I need to apply it to every area of life and not just there.
Meeps, this is what has worked for me. Try to realise, really realise, at a subconscious level, that none of the things you care about matter. Focus on one at a time, ask yourself what the ultimate goal of it is, until you come to the answer that there really isn't one. We all die in the end, and nothing should really matter. Most people realise this, but consider it to be true only in an abstract philosophical world that doesn't apply to real life upon exiting. And this is a mistake.
Whatever you're worrying about, it isn't worth what you're feeling now. This doesn't mean you can't strive to attain certain goals. You're alive, and there would be as little point in dying. Just make certain that the goals you're striving for are really going to bring you happiness, and use the above to cease caring as much as you do. You just need to stop feeling any additional, useless stress apart from what's required to get things done.
Aww, I was just starting to like you, Meeps. Don't delete your account or have it banned, just don't come here for a week or two. If you do, we'll make sure to chase you away by nagging endlessly until you log off. In any case, hope you do well on your exams and whatnot.
Btw, when studying, it's best to split your study time into 30-45 minute study blocks. You have an easier time memorizing and recalling things you learned at the start and end of each session than you do with the middle (does that make sense?). I can't quite recall what this phenomena is called but that isn't really important, just know that it's best not too burn out on excessively long study periods. You also want to make sure you get enough sleep - not just the day before the exam, but on the days you study as well. You store information to your long-term memory during REM sleep, and the longer you sleep, the the longer your REM cycles will last.
@ Carôusoul: I want you inside me.
I lost a friend thanks to you. But you know, life goes on right?
Sigh.
Ahahaha nice edit Carou, I see what you did there. I don't want to watch you. I want to run away from you :( I'm think I'm going to lose all my friends while you savor each bond that is broken. :(
I better go make friends in college at least to compensate this sorrow. I hate seeing people leave... :/
Meeps, if you really feel DV is distracting you too much, asking for a ban rather than account deletion would be okay, since you could ask to be unbanned later if you want...Right?
You can't request to have an account deleted.
I think.
Oh you can certainly REQUEST it... just aint gonna happen! :cheeky:
It's not hard getting an account banned. It's getting it back again that would be the problem.
You can talk about it -->HERE<--. I'm not going to dilute this thread's purpose like I did before.
I'm having such a first-world problem day. My brother (the one with which I am constantly at odds) is requesting that he store his 20gb Hard drive data on my new, 200gb harddrive. It may seem like a tiny thing, but what happens next: he will fill up his harddrive again, and to ever get back those OLD 20gb, he will have to transfer the new 20gb, putting 40gb on my harddrive. And it will continue, it will escalate, and eventually, as with all of my possessions, they will become extensions of his "property."
It makes no sense to me, since I thought he was moving out... I know I should probably do the "nice" thing and let him, but we've been having tiny proxy battles like this for the better part of 10 years... and I can't give in now! /first-world problem.
Stress level went from "ah this is the life" to "OH DEAR GOD, WORLD WILL END" pretty much over nothing. Case of beer tonight? Case of beer tonight...