Originally Posted by
Suena
Tommo: I agree with everything you're saying, but it's just like Zhay said, it can be tough doing most of the work alone. I'm not saying he doesn't do anything. I enjoy the time I spend with my son, definitely. Don't doubt that. It's not that I would like to leave my son with my husband all the time. I absolutely enjoy spending every minute every day with him. But you see, every now and then, I think I deserve a little me time, too. I mean, he's not that bad; however, I do have to ask permission to take a shower when he's just sitting on his ass playing video games. You know what I mean? It's like because he works and I don't have a job (bc I'm going to school, taking care of my son and housework) then in his free time, watching his son is "babysitting".
Here I go again. I seriously cannot make plans like he does, spontaneously. If I plan that I want to do something on a certain night a few weeks in advance, then it's really no problem, but if he's at home playing a game and I say, "Hey, I'm gonna go get coffee with so and so, I'll be back in an hour" he throws a fit, because he MIGHT have had something to do that he didn't tell me about.
I guess our main problem is communication here, but it is not for lack of trying.
You're right about pushing people away, for sure. Like I said, I've done that many times in my past it seems. I'm trying my best, and I mean my BEST to not let these little feelings get in the way (hence, why I'm here ranting instead of taking it out on my hubby.) Any other time, you'd be right and I would be crowding him. I do need to keep that in mind... at all times. I don't know. It's not all me though, and I know that. I'm not a horrible wife, seriously. I do everything I can to please him, but when pleasing him is hurting me, is that fair? No.
Do you think he'll wake up on his own? I mean... guys... how does this work? :(
That is why I tend to nag, and I hate nagging, but even when I have tried in the past to talk with him in a mature way, he just shuts me up and it turns into a fight, EVERY time. I don't think there is one real problem that we have ever solved because he doesn't see the things that are bothering me as problems. Granted, not everything is a big deal, but little things add up if he won't even discuss them with me in a mature way.
ugh... I'm sorry guys. I'm done, I promise. Thanks for the real talk though.
On a SIDE note... Puffin, I've had friends like that too. Sometimes you just don't need their negativity. If her behavior isn't making sense and she doesn't want to explain it, then don't bother trying to figure it out. If anything, she'll come to you if she values your friendship. Like Melanieb said, you've got a good group here. I hope it all works out for you.