Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

**Linkzelda** · 02-15-2012 03:13 PM

Originally Posted by Suena

The only problem is, he's going with two of his coworkers, one male and one female and they've all made this cute little fucking pact to get them done TOGETHER. Whyyyy does this make me uneasy? How would you guys feel about it?

I'm looking for objectivity, I honestly am, but if you'd like to tell me what I want to hear (which is that I have a right to feel that way) then I'm all for it. If you can slap me out of my silliness, I dare you.

If you're looking for objectivity, let's put it this way. If he were to do anything else that would obviously portray that there can be a potential scandal, it would look bad for the company he and the coworkers are working for. They would all get fired immediately before it could have made a significant scar on the company.

And if this gets to his family and yours, he would be looked down upon as not being a responsible father because he decided to blindly go on a orgy after he and his coworkers get their nipples pierced.

Then his friends outside the workplace, they would look down upon him too, because if were to do something scandalous with them, they would know that you shouldn't deserve that kind of disrespect, especially if you have to be responsible for taking care of a child.

I think that possibility of an orgy is impossible.

BUT, in a slightly twisted way, he COULD be formulating a plan to create a relationship (a professional one, mind you, that is strictly professional), so that the coworkers may be tempted to persuade the head honcho to augment his salary a little bit?

Because this nipple piercing thing, if I were him, I would see it as an opportunity to play mind games with the company staff so that they can be more nice if something bad were to happen. But other than that, I would just see it as a way to be able to manipulate the coworkers for my own benefit, and nothing sexually.

If I were to have a friendship (but nothing more than that) with coworkers, it would create less tension, in fact, I think it's an easy way to humanize the people he's working with.

When people don't know about other worker's lives (just a little, not too much), there's this mentality that they have to be this person that is so mysterious, and they'll look more like a tool for the company rather than a human being with things to be met etc.

I just think it's a little inappropriate for him to go. I guess this girl says she won't do it unless J does it and J won't do it unless my hubby does it. So, in a way, it's all to get this girl's nipple pierced. Hmm, I'm trying to bite my tongue, but is this not a little... sickening to girls out there?

With this generation of youth, nothing is sickening.

But I don't think you should worry too much about it, because if you think about the chain of events of him being humiliated and looked down upon if he were to go in TOO much with coworker female, I think everything will go out fine.

As for the coworker male, yeah, nothing bad can happen from that.

But, it's not bad or anything that you're worried. I would go into more detail with how you can manipulate him and all that fun stuff, but I think other people might be able to give a better suggestion than I can.

I just think of the situation of getting their nipples pierced as getting the female to getting her's pierced as a cute way to be supportive, but nothing more than that.

My rant:

I'm worried about these summaries I typed up for my Biochemistry Seminar. The professor hasn't been around for 3 weeks now, and the class is small (like 10 people), so that means I had to keep track of previous summaries I typed, and now we're going to bring all 3 of them together.

The professor said that he won't take things seriously when we've typed the summaries, because he himself doesn't understand what the guest speakers say in the first place anyway, but still, when he says that, I have a feeling he might still be strict on a decent summary.

It's not really something I should worry about, I've gotten 103s on essays by typing them ON the day that they were due (but 1AM-3AM). I've gotten 98s or A's overall on almost all major essays I had to type, but I don't know why I'm worried.

It's just that when I had a Biochemistry Introductory course my first semester, and had to do a summary on a disease, I made an 80 for a ONE PAGE summary of the drug.

ONE PAGE, HOW YOU CAN GET AN 80 FOR ONE PAGE THAT DOESN'T EVEN ASK FOR MUCH ANYWAY?!??!

And this Chemistry DRA that I finished last night, fucking hell lol. It's like they're asking "WHAT IS 2+2? SHOW YOUR CALCULATIONS!" It's so easy and basic, but at the same time I'm worried.

I made a 94 on the last DRA for the experiment we did on Salinity and titrations....but still....I just don't trust this TA as much because he declared how many mistakes he made in the class, and he has some bad blood with the leader of the TAs....which means that she'll be looking to check on him once in a while, and go "hawk-eye" mode on him.

Last week's lab, a girl couldn't participate in it because her pants weren't long enough (safety reasons). It sucks for her because she'll have to take a 0 for a lab, or do a makeup. And I'm pretty sure the makeup is NOT easier than the actual lab.

But whatever, I'll just go along with today and hopefully finish my Biology Lab Summary before tomorrow.

**melanieb** · 02-15-2012 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by Suena

Well, I guess I'm going to pull an all-nighter. It sucks.
I get all cozy in bed. I start to fall asleep and then it hits me. A stupid thought, something I could've done without. I could've dreamed tonight, I could have had a lucid dream, for that matter. Do you really want to know?
No, but I suppose I should say it since I'm already here and going. Tomorrow, my husband is going to get his nipple pierced (third time and no he doesn't have three nipples).
The only problem is, he's going with two of his coworkers, one male and one female and they've all made this cute little fucking pact to get them done TOGETHER. Whyyyy does this make me uneasy? How would you guys feel about it? I'm looking for objectivity, I honestly am, but if you'd like to tell me what I want to hear (which is that I have a right to feel that way) then I'm all for it. If you can slap me out of my silliness, I dare you.
I just think it's a little inappropriate for him to go. I guess this girl says she won't do it unless J does it and J won't do it unless my hubby does it. So, in a way, it's all to get this girl's nipple pierced. Hmm, I'm trying to bite my tounge, but is this not a little... sickening to girls out there?
I mean, fuck, why not invite me along? Do you guys plan to have an orgy afterwards or something? like... I dk.... sure, I might've taken it overboard. All I told him was that it made me feel uncomfortable but that I won't stop him from doing it, you know. I just wish he would understand....It doesn't help that I already lead a pretty lonely life here at home taking care of his kid all day and gee, thanks, baby I get to go to CLASS on tues and thurs. Then it's back to the fucking pin. I can't tell if I'm upset because I'm jealous that he can go and do whatever he pleases, or if I'm insecure and am afraid of him leaving me for some little 17 year old bitch he works with, or... a mix, whatever... Too much resentment for one person to handle.

Okay, so I reread that post and thought about how I would feel, and what my emotions would be, and I thought about the words you used.

To me, your words sound like you have a trust issue with your husband. I can interpolate from this that you may have a reason not to trust him. I can also guess that you're looking for a reason to trust him but haven't found it yet.

I know nothing about him or you, so all I can offer is that the best thing you can ever do in a relationship is openly tell the person you're with what your feelings are and ask them for the same honesty in return. It's the only way to build trust. When you know your partner's motivations and feelings it makes it easier to trust them when they go places without you.

Raising children in a young relationship can be very hard, and scary, especially if your partner isn't sharing the same burdens you face. Tell him. It doesn't have to be an argument. It doesn't have to be negative, or one-sided. It just needs to be said, and it needs to be honest.

The only other thing I can say is a though that occurred to me while reading your words: Is it possible that he is doing this to help the other male coworker get closer to the girl? I wondered if it's the other coworker that wants to get in good with her, and wants this to happen, but needs backup. I know this doesn't sound like a good reason from the perspective of a young married wife but guys do stupid things to help out buddies sometimes.

I'm hoping things work out well.

If it was me, I'd be upset also. Your feelings are valid.

**melanieb** · 02-15-2012 03:44 PM

Fuck!!! I did it again!!! I made a post about being tired and not being able to remember my dreams due to lack of sleep this week, and then I hit the wrong button on my mouse and lost every word I had typed.

I hate being this tired. It leads to mistakes.

Catch you later, DV.

**Zhaylin** · 02-15-2012 04:18 PM

Suena, Link, Melanie.

Suena, you wrote: " ...taking care of his kid all day..." Is the kid from a previous relationship. If so, then I think you're harboring resentment more than anything. You could feel like your role in the relationship is as a Nanny only.
If the child is the both of yours, then you could be feeling spurned, rejected and emotionally betrayed.

As for the nudity, I agree with Melanie that your husband may only be acting as a "wing man". I don't think he's planning anything nefarious because he did tell you. I would respectfully advise you to be careful how you react to this because he might find it easier, in the future, to just not tell you.
But do speak your mind. Especially about the underlying issues: You feel neglected, lonely and insecure about his affections toward you. You feel overwhelmed. You miss him.
If he goes for tears and you feel like crying, then by all means, let your emotions show. But don't use accusing words. Don't appear completely desperate. If tears drive him away, try to remain as calm and logical as possible. Write out a plan and discuss what you would like to see changed and show your ideas on how that change could be brought about.
Much success to you!

No rants from me so far...

**OldNutter** · 02-15-2012 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by melanieb

Fuck!!! I did it again!!! I made a post about being tired and not being able to remember my dreams due to lack of sleep this week, and then I hit the wrong button on my mouse and lost every word I had typed.

I hate being this tired. It leads to mistakes.

Catch you later, DV.

Unless you went back a page, you can recover your message. Hold Ctrl + z, it's the shortcut key for "undo".

**Original Poster** · 02-15-2012 06:07 PM

No one wants to join my MC :c

**Suena** · 02-15-2012 06:07 PM

Thanks for the support guys. I know in my heart you guys are probably right. The kid is mine. I wrote that last night when I was veryy upset about it, I don't know. I haven't accused him of anything. Like, him and his friend came home from work the other night and we all had a few beers and then they told me their plan. My hubby straight up told me that he was trying to help out. I didn't say anything at the time because for one, J was there and two, we'd been drinking and it probably would've turned out bad. So, yesterday I came home from class and he pointed it out again that he was going. I didn't accuse him and I tried to use nice words, you know, just to tell him I didn't like it really. I told him I thought it was inappropriate. I knew not to make a big deal out of it because it really wasn't worth it. I feel numb about it now anyway. He's going to do what he's going to do and I don't try to control him, so. He has no idea that Im even this upset about it now. It almost turned into a fight because he was like, "Fine, I won't go" but it was a "because you say so" kind of attitude. I didn't like that. I told him, "hey, you know, I'm not going to make a big deal out of it. I just told you how I feel and if you still want to do it, go for it. I'm not going to hold a grudge or anything, but at least you know how I feel."

And I won't. Melanieb, I have had trust issues with him from the start and it's not just him, it's me. I'm paranoid sometimes, I'll admit it. I've always been this way and I've probably ruined all of my relationships because of it. I really don't want it to overpower me.

I don't even REALLY feel that wronged about it, you know. When I sit down and think about it, I really don't care if he sees another girl's tit, because i know that if he decides to leave me for THAT, then maybe I would be better off. I try to keep telling myself that no matter what, things will come out in the open eventually and that I need to just trust him because he does deserve trust. It's just he seems to be going out of his way here, too. I think that's what really irks me is that he's going to drive to another town, only about twenty away, to do this and then he's going to come home and then I have to go BACK to this town for class. Not to mention, he wanted to wait to get it pierced because of the trauma he's already served one nipple, lol.

Anyway, thanks for the thoughts Zhay, Melanie, and Link (what you said made me laugh lol). I feel kind of silly, but hey, thanks for helping me out.

**Meeps** · 02-15-2012 06:11 PM

@ Suena: I think I'd at least be annoyed by it as well. The level of annoyance would depend on how pretty the girl is.

Don't feel silly, I've known people getting jealous over muuuuuuuuch smaller things.

**~~Alyzarin~~** · 02-15-2012 06:36 PM

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

No one wants to join my MC :c

This is the first I've heard of it. Maybe you just need to get the word out there!

**Original Poster** · 02-15-2012 07:14 PM

http://www.dreamviews.com/f21/dv-mot...e-club-128403/

**Patrick** · 02-15-2012 07:38 PM

Suena, you sound like a sensible person and you're talking to your husband about it and let him know how you feel, which is the mature thing to do. So there's no point worrying about it any more. Like you said, if he's the kind of guy to cheat on you because he sees a nipple then yeah, maybe it's not right.

But linkzelda, I disagree with this;

Originally Posted by linkzelda

If you're looking for objectivity, let's put it this way. If he were to do anything else that would obviously portray that there can be a potential scandal, it would look bad for the company he and the coworkers are working for. They would all get fired immediately before it could have made a significant scar on the company

Not sure about that. My dad left my mum for a woman he has worked next to for 5 years. The woman is 36 (14 years younger) and was married and has a kid. My dad was married and has three kids. Pretty big scandal wouldn't you say? But neither of them are fired or even moved away from eachother because his company doesn't really care. As long as they work.

**OpheliaBlue** · 02-15-2012 08:16 PM

Originally Posted by melanieb

Fuck!!! I did it again!!! I made a post about being tired and not being able to remember my dreams due to lack of sleep this week, and then I hit the wrong button on my mouse and lost every word I had typed.

I hate being this tired. It leads to mistakes.

Catch you later, DV.

I have something similar happen on my netbook. The keyboard is so tiny, and I have these long alien fingers. It happens somehow when I hit the left tab button with my left pinky, and I hit a letter close to the mouse pad, and i think my left thumb must be brushing up on the mouse pad just barely, and it wipes the whole thing out and either takes me to the top of the page, or back a page I'm not sure.

I've tried to deliberately do it but I haven't been able to. I just have to remember to 'play legato and keep my wrists up' like I do in piano and it doesn't happen as much. Sucks though when it happens though I know.

**Linkzelda** · 02-15-2012 08:17 PM

Originally Posted by Pensive Patrick

Suena, you sound like a sensible person and you're talking to your husband about it and let him know how you feel, which is the mature thing to do. So there's no point worrying about it any more. Like you said, if he's the kind of guy to cheat on you because he sees a nipple then yeah, maybe it's not right.

But linkzelda, I disagree with this;

Not sure about that. My dad left my mum for a woman he has worked next to for 5 years. The woman is 36 (14 years younger) and was married and has a kid. My dad was married and has three kids. Pretty big scandal wouldn't you say? But neither of them are fired or even moved away from eachother because his company doesn't really care. As long as they work.

Now that I reread what I post, you're right. I saw Suena's post when I just woke up from sleep. I was thinking more along the lines of companies that are broadcast in the news, so it silly for me to use that reasoning for her post.

Another factor could be that there's a scandal with the CEO or someone of higher rank, so I guess what I declared would be valid for that scenario, I don't know about the lady your father went with, but that's the mindset I was going for. It may not have worked for a scenario such as yours, but it was just a general draft of what I thought.

But even if the companies do not care, the invisible stigma from family members will cause a pretentious acceptance of what they have done, and this will just create drama between family, which will cause it to be more dysfunctional. I'm really sorry to hear that happened with your family Patrick, but I understand what you mean now.

I was just giving her a cold and to-the-point example of a "What if" moment, since she wanted it to be objective.

Rant:

FUCK LOL....I was deciding this morning if I should walk to my classes or use my bicycle...it didn't look like it was raining, but NOOO, after I'm almost done with my Chemistry Lab Experiment (it was easy as hell, just rolling dice to understand and apply concepts of Kinetics), it rains like God held his piss for 23,000,000 years....

Now my good jeans are wet...AGAIN like they were weeks ago. So now I have to walk early instead of using my bicycle if this rain persists.....DAMN IT TEXAS...STAY STABLE IN YOUR WEATHER .....

AGJASDGJSDAL

**ThePreserver** · 02-15-2012 08:59 PM

I'm going to RAVE about this: My "official" Spring Break goes from March 5th to March 9th, not including the two weekends that surround it. We ALSO get Good Friday and the Monday following Easter off.

Note that I do not have class on Tuesdays and Thursdays... so I'm off that weekend for 6 days straight. I HAVE TWO SPRING BREAKS :O

**DrunkenArse** · 02-15-2012 09:34 PM

My friend is a Moron.

Well, he wouldn't be a friend if he was really a moron but he's acting like it. He's just addicted to sex. His goddamn girlfriend gets all drunk and pissed and just rages. In pidgin too. That's pretty funny. Until she starts blowing up our spot. "You gonna do me like that boo! I never wen' do anything! (except try to fuck every man in town behind your back) You wen' steal my pipe and herbs! (that you had just given to me and that I'm actually just too drunk to find in my purse). " and on and on and on.

The last thing we need is cops coming around. We never used to have to deal with cops. Now they know us by name. One of them stole some weed just yesterday. Only got away with a little nug though. And they let us keep our pipes. Twice they've told him that he really needs to leave her. I've been telling him this for over a month. Dumb bitch. I don't use the term lightly. I like her a lot when she's sober and she's fun to have around but damn. Last night she was trying to tell the cops that my friend hit her. This is a first. The cops looks at her. The cops look at my friend. "Candice, Aaron never wen' try hit you. You like lie to me? I never see one mark on your face." She's so drunk it takes her a second to recover from being called out. She looks at her arm where she'd just gotten a cut from fallilng on the rocks. She points at it with a dumb look on her face. The cop just face palms and tells my friend to leave the bitch. Again, I don't use the term lightly.

And the bitch knows where my secret shell spot is.

Whatevs. She hardly ever finds shit. I'm just worried she's gonna take people there.

Ah, life on Maui. Thank's for caring.

**OpheliaBlue** · 02-15-2012 11:03 PM

How is "Immediately" and "Within 2 Business Days" the same thing?

gay ass savings account

what they really mean, but don't actually state, is "Immediately pending, but won't post until the last possible second of two business days."

**Puffin** · 02-15-2012 11:25 PM

My friend is being a bitch. She didn't talk to me at all during school today, just because I had that argument with her about how she was saying "I don't spend enough time with my BF". She looks at me, rolls her eyes and walks away. Is she even a friend at all?

**~~Alyzarin~~** · 02-15-2012 11:32 PM

Originally Posted by Puffin

My friend is being a bitch. She didn't talk to me at all during school today, just because I had that argument with her about how she was saying "I don't spend enough time with my BF". She looks at me, rolls her eyes and walks away. Is she even a friend at all?

To be honest... from all your posts on this subject, it doesn't really sound like it. I'm sure you have other reasons for considering her such, but it seems like there is a serious conflict here for reasons that I just don't understand from what you've told us.

**SpaceCowboyDave** · 02-16-2012 12:34 AM

Girls are weird.

**Linkzelda** · 02-16-2012 12:46 AM

Originally Posted by dave1701

Girls are weird.

Yep.

**Meeps** · 02-16-2012 12:50 AM

Originally Posted by Puffin

My friend is being a bitch. She didn't talk to me at all during school today, just because I had that argument with her about how she was saying "I don't spend enough time with my BF". She looks at me, rolls her eyes and walks away. Is she even a friend at all?

Wait.. She's angry at you for spending too little time with your bf? BF standing for boyfriend or best friend?

I don't really have a rant I just came here reading yours.. I do have my period.. Which always sucks a little.

**OpheliaBlue** · 02-16-2012 01:20 AM

My problem isn't really that bad at the moment, I'm just tired of my sig pic.

I don't even eat those things, I just make them.

**DrunkenArse** · 02-16-2012 01:22 AM

Oh I'm sure we all have mild problems. For example, I'd really like to take a piss but don't want to get up.

**melanieb** · 02-16-2012 02:02 AM

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

How is "Immediately" and "Within 2 Business Days" the same thing?
gay ass savings account
what they really mean, but don't actually state, is "Immediately pending, but won't post until the last possible second of two business days."

I used to hate that as well, having to wait on a check to post so I could pay bills.

I have been with my credit union for a while, and because of the history we have they no longer put a post-hold on my checks, a service they don't tell anyone about but extend to long-time customers. I hope someday you experience the same.

**tommo** · 02-16-2012 02:03 AM

Originally Posted by Suena

No, but I suppose I should say it since I'm already here and going. Tomorrow, my husband is going to get his nipple pierced (third time and no he doesn't have three nipples).

The only problem is, he's going with two of hi....

IMO you're being extremely paranoid. Honest opinion. Further, the fact that you see raising a kid as a chore, or something boring.... well, let's just say that I think you need to reassess
the reasons why you wanted a kid in the first place and the fact that you're supposed to be raising the kid to do well in life.
It really should be the most enjoyable purpose in life.

I have found that 100% of the time when someone is paranoid of losing someone, they end up pushing them away. If you don't give your bf any sort of freedom, or if you voice your concern
every single time he wants to do something alone, he's just gonna end up hating you. It's a simple fact. People need space. Even from the ones they love the most.

It's hard to get rid of paranoia, because it can seem rational, but if you look beyond the immediate, you will find a higher type of rationality and logic.
Even if you feel paranoid about something, don't act on it. Eventually start disregarding it as what it is, the paranoia will go away of itself.

Originally Posted by melanieb

I used to hate that as well, having to wait on a check to post so I could pay bills.

I have been with my credit union for a while, and because of the history we have they no longer put a post-hold on my checks, a service they don't tell anyone about but extend to long-time customers. I hope someday you experience the same.

Perfect! Now you can start pushing fake cheques!