TEN THINGS TO PONDER FOR 2007

#10 Life is sexually transmitted.

#9 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die

#8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.

#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

#6 Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying
of nothing.

#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.

#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents???

#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2007: We know exactly where one cow with
mad-cow disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in
America, and where one strain of e-coli got into the spinach, but we haven't
a clue as to how to apprehend thousands of known criminals, including serial
killers, pedophiles, Internet predators, identity thieves, would-be and
actual terrorists, foreign students whose visas have expired, illegal
aliens, suspect members of Congress, crooked CEO's and CFO's etc. Maybe we
should just put the Department of Agriculture in charge of everything.