I honesty don't know what I expect anyone to say to me but, maybe some one has some words that might be useful to myself or others.

The short of it is that I'm really trying to lose weight. I don't consider myself "fat" but, I've been at 185 pounds for the past five or more years now and I don't like it. I did a diet, where I simply eat less, about two or three months ago and I lost about 12 pounds. Then I got careless and gained it back again.

I'd say that about 187 pounds or so is my peak weight ever. For the past month almost, I've been eating much smaller meals and skipping meals. For the past two weeks or so, I've had only very small lunches (for example, today I ate three bananas for lunch) and either a small dinner or completely skipping dinner (as I did last night). I never eat breakfast and I try to avoid junk foods. I weighed myself today and I'm at 177. I'd love to be in the low to mid 160's and stay there.

I've always considered myself to have extremely strong will. Willpower has always been one of my strongest attributes, in every field: fidelity, drugs, etc... When I choose to do or not to do something, I'm rock solid about my resolve. I value my self-respect above all else and I always honor my word.

My problem here is that I'm hungry: always. When I eat "right" I'm fine but, as I try to scale back on my caloric intake, I'm in a constant battle with the grumble in my gut. I'm so tempted to chow down on some pizza or something but I have to fight the urge.

I don't know if there's anything I want to be told or if I'm just venting to solidify the intent of my journey. Sorry if reading this has been a waste of your time.