Is there boundaries in dreams

[jankai]

it started were i was on a bus this being about midway though the dream and i had just gotten away from the 28 days later sinario and then i said to myself hang on would i be on the bus driving past stepping hill hospital with my ex on the bus. A few seconds later there it was i was lucid. I walked down to my ex and i thought to myself i might as well try it and i started speaking to her and then we got kissing and so on and then when i tried to you no go for it she pushed me away and said not even in your dreams which is what she said to me when i tried it in the relationship lol ( really hated her and she cheated on me) After all that i was in 28 weeks later i was trapped in a room and thought right i have had enough here so i charged my power which lets me in a dream to move to another dream so i did and when i was in this court room, with my ex and then i woke up, I talked about it with my friend and he said that since she wouldnt let me do it in real life my sub-contuse wouldnt let me in a dream. I have being lucid dreaming for a while and i have never had this problem before and luckly for me i have found this site. can anyone surgest anything (btw am a crap speller)

[Marvo]

Don't have sex with your ex in your dreams. Just summon another girl, that's just as good looking. It's hard to defeat your subconscious, when it's playing with emotions. Get another girl in your lucids

[Obsidian]

I agree completely with Marvo. Buttttttt in the spirit of answering the question. I'm pretty sure if you worked at it you'd be able to follow through wiht your ex. It would be harder, since you are subconciously anticipating the denial. Its your dream, anything is possible, your subconcious also tells you that gravity should hold you down to the ground, you shouldnt' be able to fly. Yet plenty of people do this because they know others have and it's just a dream. It's about getting over that expectation and realizing it's your own dream. But even thought it's possible, it's probably not worth it. It will take a lot of effort to stay lucid the whole time and actually make it happen, and after you wake up you'll probalby just miss her more. I say get a new and better girl in your dream.

[jankai]

i understand what ur saying but the problem is av bin LDing for nearly 10 years now and i have never had this problem before but hey cheers anyway

[Marvo]

Well, stop thinking about it. Wondering about it, is not a good step, if you want to forget about it and solve the problem.

[Lucidbulbs]

Yeah, don't think about it because if you do, you'll end up increasing the chances of thise happening in your dreams again. When you get lucid, a dreams main goal is to make you lose your focus so it can have control again and do whatever it wants [at least, that's how I see it] so that could have been its way of throwing you off guard.

[Namcosis]

In the end think of it like having sex with yourself because it is you're dream just that you're imagining another person to simulate sex so you can help with you're wants and needs .

[jankai]

well i have just thought of what the problem is after reading about what is just being put. After a long hard think i have come to the conclusion that there is just somethings i cant do in dreams. The whole piont i started this was because i wasnt able to rag my ex in my dreams. I mean i can easily do it to anyone else in a dream but it was just that one thing. Its because as i think i have already put she disagreed to it in real life (dont no y and she cheated on me wasnt like she wasnt getting any) so my sub-contuse stops me from doing it because even in the dream she is real to my sub-contuse because she was a big part of my life so ya carry on the thread to ur leisure but i have kind of worked it out

[Oneiro]

This is quite unusual jankai. Usually, DCs clamour for sex with LDers. To find one who refuses is not common, but I don't know what to make of it.

[Junior]

Don't have sex with your ex in your dreams. Just summon another girl, that's just as good looking. It's hard to defeat your subconscious, when it's playing with emotions. Get another girl in your lucids You summon them? I just swoop mine off the street!

[Marvo]

When I meet women in my dreams, they're usually ugly and fat. I'd rather summon some sweet looking girl.

[Xaqaria]

This doesn't exactly apply to this specific situation but rather to the general concept; Personally I really enjoy when I'm having a lucid dream and something unexpected or beyond my control happens. Its my opinion that this is how my subconscious really is able to communicate with me. The way I see it, my conscious mind is myself in the dream, but my subconscious mind is the entire dream world, and in some ways will remain more powerful than me even when I feel omnipotent.

[Daen]

Dear Marvo, This is unrelated to Jankais ex sex problems (although I know that dreams tend towards granting you wishes rather than re-enforcing the "I can't have" attitude of our waking minds, ask Frued) but something stood out to me in your post. You said, "most of the girls in my dreams are fat and ugly, and I'd rather a better looking one" or something like that. It has been convincingly postulated by oneironauts and dream researchers (like Jung) for decades that often a woman in a man's dream represnts his Anima. This Anima (Animus for the boys in girls dreams) represents the feminine aspect of the dreamer. Now, that said. What do you think your fat, ugly girls say about how you perceive and experience your feminine side? Something to consider. You'd perfer something more asttractive. Slimmer, more alluring. What makes someone fat? Think about that a lot, and also how you would go about encouraging and supporting this fat girl to release the perceptions, attitudes and patterns that perpetuate her condition (fatness) and become more of what she wants. Give her confidence. She is absolutely the most beauitufl girl you could ever hope to meet. Turning down your Anima is like turning down sex with a Faerie. Hmmm? Daen.

[Marvo]

Oh haha, no no, it's not like they are all fat and ugly. There are many nice ones aswell. It's just in my lucids, when I'm like "Shit, I'm gonna get a girl and have fun with her" the only girls I find, are ugly/oldies/fat, and completely unsexy. And I never recognise girls from other dreams. They are all different, unless they are friends from real life :p But what you're saying, is that a person's "anima" is the feminine reflection of the person?

[Daen]

Yep, basically. And they don't have to be the same people either, you can have a different looking Anima every night. In fact, I am sure that it would be more to your subconscious' advantage to be able to present these women as many and varied so you could see your femine aspect from many angles. Maybe as an experiment, next time you summon a girl and she is less than attractive rather than just get rid of her and try again, have a talk to her. Ask her what is her relationship to you, how she feels, what she wants, how long has she been alive, what happens when you are not here (in the dreamworld in which you are talking with her) and whatever else you can think of. You may be pleasantly suprised with your interactions, and healing may take place for her and ultimately for you. I had a stunning romance late last year with a girl in my dream. At first I was afraid of her and she seemed near-on crazy. She was definitely eccentric and she took me places. We started holding hands half-way through the dream and I was falling in love. After spending time with each other, doing magic, looking around and stuff, I surfed one of my more lucid moments in the dream (it wavered) and said to her, "Ummmm, do you know if you are part of my creation, my mind? Or are you another entity here on the Astral Plane?" She looked down at her feet, obviously feeling sad. By her reaction I figured she must be an aspect of myself, which I didn't mind at all. I was about to tell her so when she said, "but doesn't that make us Yin and Yang?" "Yes! Exactly!" I said happily. Then the dream closed. Now, granted, my Anima in this situation was young and hot and even adventurous, sexy and eccentric, so it may have been easier for me to engage with her, but I have been embracing (or at least exploring) my feminine side since I started with Wicca when I was 15. I stopped with that a couple of years later in exchange for a more Wholesome spiritual perspective (whole as in One) but continued to honour the women in my life and our world as well as the Yin elements within me. So yeah, what's there to lose? Maybe your fat Anima will rape you but I doubt it. Peace, Daen.