This morning I found out that I've been lucid in my dreams my whole life (well, for as long as I can remember). I never knew that not everyone could do it or even that it had a name or people who wanted to achieve it.
Thinking back on my lucid experience, I remember as a very young child, whenever I had a nightmare, I told myself I would have a password. If I said my password, no matter what was happening, my dream would change for me. During that phase in my life, I hadn't yet realized I could change the outcome or people as well. I only knew that if I was scared, my password would save me from my dream.
As I got older, in my dreams, I started to realize not only could I switch my dreams, but I could control it more. Such as time of day, people and what they did/said, abilities, such as flying, etc.
Now that I'm older, I've realized one thing that's always the same about my lucid dreams: I can't decide how my dreams begin. Only after I've started dreaming, then I can change things.
I think that being lucid comes easier if you don't try so hard or don't think on it too much? Because all my life, I've never realized that I dreamt differently from other people. I never thought of it when I went to sleep, etc. It just came. But I think it might also be the type of person you are? I like to control my life. I need to control it. I don't like anyone else trying to control anything of mine- so maybe that could be a factor, too? That I control things too much, so even in my dreams, I control that, too.
Another thing you might want to try is that I've noticed I don't get enough sleep. I wake up at 6:30am and go to sleep around 1 or 2am because of my lifestyle. So I suppose going to sleep, you're exhausted from lacking sleep, but aware that you'll have to wake up soon, as well. So, you're asleep, but still aware. Maybe that will help you achieve lucidity easier?
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