Reoccurring dream about ex

[Avalon393]

Hi there I'm new here. 23 years old. A bit of background: My ex is an alcoholic/ addict. We lived together 2 years and then broke up for 2 years. He got sober, we recently lived together for another year until he relapsed and kicked me out and broke up with me again 2 weeks ago.....since then I keep having a reoccurring dream that him, the roomate and I are living somewhere new, literally a new place every night. I look around and then realize I'm all packed to move out. My ex starts yelling at me like crazy and being very cold as he was in reality. I get the same sick panicky feeling that I'm losing the love of my life all over again and wake up in cold sweats. The only difference in the dreams are the objects he's holding of mine and yelling about...last night it was a pillow that he ended up throwing...the night before it was a green bowl of mine that he said he didn't want that kept turning pink, and he kept mumbling about the number 5? Also I had climbed up a ladder and was in a "loft" during this scene. Do you guys have any thoughts on this? I'm aware that this is common in breakups but it is getting to be excessive, and confusing with all the random objects/numbers. Thank you in advance.

[JoannaB]

I am sorry that you are having such a rough time after the breakup. I think ultimately more time is needed to heal this. Do you have friends and family to talk to? I hope you do, and I hope they can help. Since this is a lucid dreaming community, and you are having a reoccurring nightmare, may I suggest that you start telling yourself in waking in life that next time you see your ex you will realize that you are dreaming, and that he cannot hurt you any more in your dreams? After each nightmare, spend some time reinventing what just happened spinning it around and changing the ending to be better - think of what you would want to happen in such a situation to improve it, and I suggest that it may be better for you if that changed outcome does not involve your making up with him, but rather making the situation better in some way that hopefully lets you have more self respect and perhaps try to regain your sense of humor if possible. The idea is to try to incubate better versions of this dream. Since you are having this dream over again, might as well try to improve it. If you succeed in becoming lucid, one option for you is to walk out on him in the dream or make him disappear with a magic wand, and then strive to have a different dream that does not involve him. That could also be worked toward with dream incubation: think about what you would rather dream of instead of him: a peaceful beach on a tropical island where you can relax by yourself? A dream of hanging out with your best friend? A dream from your favorite fiction book or movie? Whatever it is, visualize it, plan it, think of it before going to sleep, set your firm intension to have a different dream tonight, one more like your wish fulfilling dream.