OCD: Who here has been a victim of it.

[AirRick101]

I've grown up and lived with this since 7th grade (6 years so far) It's been most serious in the earlier years, gotten less, then became bad again. It really lowers self-esteem, because you can't do things that other people can (resist compulsions). I would usually have an unshakable fear that somebody or something was watching me, and each time I thought I solved the problem, the problem expands so that no matter what context I place myself in, I'm still vulnerable to the fear. Wondering if anyone out there can sympathize or share.

[l3xicon]

I totally can! i'm totally OCDish! i'v had it since i was a li'll girl, i couldn't sleep because i was always worried about something stupid like i wouldn't be able 2 fall asleep, or i wasn't getting enough hours of sleep or just simply something was going 2 go wrong... i worried about everything... but now all that i suffer from it is i'm way overly clean...my friends even tease me about getting me a carpet brush i'm still paranoid though, 'specially w/my co-dependency ...it sux

[Rakkantekimusouka]

I have Asperger's Syndrome, which although it's not OCD, is very similar in a lot of respects. I obsess with A LOT of things everyday, including organization and making things look perfectI hardly write things in pencil or pen willingly because I always start over like a million times if each and every letter doesn't look JUST right. Whenever I'm walking by myself, and I walk by anyone, I always feel like they're staring at me, thinking how stupid I am/I must look. I always feel like everyone is watching me, close or from afar. I guess that's why I like being alone in my room so much.

[AirRick101]

I used to worry that government spies were spying on me because I did something very wrong...like...say...look at pornography. For years, they spied on me. They didn't arrest me, they didn't warn me, they didn't contact me...they just spied on me. I was so convinced they were spending millions of dollars to make sure they can have a reality personal tv show about my life. This went on for several years. Although I knew there were billions of people in the world, I thought only I was affected. If somebody refuted that, I didn't believe them. By the way, I wasn't thinking of myself the entire time. ....no, I'm kidding But it really sucked..being afraid of things I couldn't disprove or fix....drove me crazy. Wondering who else understands....

[irishcream]

i had this weird thing in a house i lived in...all the light switches had to be inverted towards the wall...we'd get like two lightswitches on the same board, one for the kitchen, and one for the overhead light on the cooker...anyway, depending on which way the switches were, i'd use the pull cord for the light, or the switch. One time, mum used the light switch to turn the light off, when i'd used the cord. Which meant the switches were 'wrong'. So i went and switched it around. The same thing happened with the lightswitches in the hallway. In the mornings, i'd have a strict getting up routine, with everything having fifteen minute blocks. I'd also alternate my breakfast foods religiously. Cereal one morning, toast the next, without fail. It was a huge problem one time when i went to stay with nan and told her that she had to have cereal in, or i wasn't eating breakfast! She actually phoned my mum to check! The thing with time still stands, i'm still obsessed by it. But everything else is fine.

[Universal Mind]

I was diagnosed with it when I was 18. I have always had it, though. When I was five, I would imagine a point moving in a spiral and bouncing in mid air before spiraling upward. I was obsessed with getting it to do it exactly the way I wanted it to, and the more I tried and didn't get it exactly right, the more anxious I would get. Finally, it would happen like I wanted it to, and I would feel a sense of relief. I still do that. Later, like second grade, I started saying word rituals in my head over and over and felt like if I didn't keep doing them, something bad would happen. I have rituals of scratching one leg that itches and then scratching the other one to balance things, but because I started with one leg, I have to do the same thing again but starting with the second leg. Then, to make up for the fact that I started the entire ritual with one leg, I have to start the entire ritual over with the second leg. I could go on all day about this crazy stuff. I am fully aware of the absurdity of all of it, but I still have a compulsion to do it. I have gotten better now that I understand what is happening. It is about channeling anxiety into meaningless stuff so you can feel like you are dealing with it.

[Belisarius]

I think I have a very mild case of something similar to OCD, in some instances I will go into perfection mode, and have to arrange everything perfectly, and if I'm not able to I get annoyed. It isn't so bad, at work it is probably beneficial even.

[Yume]

I have OCD. I must make things messy. This is not a joke. If things are organized I freak out. I have a tendancy to break things and make them messy just to be happy. I also still think the government has cameras watching me. They want to make sure I don't start a terrorist group against them. Yea I know it isn't likely, but I still feel it sometime.

[Universal Mind]

Woops. Wrong quote. Here we go...

[Universal Mind]

Originally posted by Yume I have OCD. I must make things messy. This is not a joke. If things are organized I freak out. I have a tendancy to break things and make them messy just to be happy. It would be hilarious to put about five people who think like you in a house with five people who are obsessed with being neat and film a reality show. Throwing in some lazy as hell pot-heads who just want to be left alone to listen to music would make it even funnier.

[ronso]

Originally posted by Universal Mind It would be hilarious to hilarious to put about five people who think like you in a house with five people who are obsessed with being neat in a house together and film a reality show. *Throwing in some lazy as hell pot-heads who just want to be left alone to listen to music would make it even funnier. Another great reality show would be 7 people on a crashing plane with only 6 parachutes... I think i also have a small case of OCD, if i got it right. Or at least i used to have

[MSG]

Im not sure if its ocd but here goes: I do wierd things like count letters and the spaces between letters and make sure its even or at least has a pattern and such... hard to explain but i would have to count them or else i would like DIE or something. Same goes with pictures and colors and stuff. This occured when I was really little (like 9) and got better... then it got like really really really worse and i was thinking "i sure hope im over this when im in college" and well thats my story. A wealth of people also say i tap-dance with my fingers yet i dont remember doing so...

[AirRick101]

When I used to memorize Bible verses, I had to say them in a certain way. I had to had the right kind of tone, breath, and when it didn't feel right when reciting, I'd say it with several inhales on some words. It was weird, I did it over and over again.... I'm really concerned. So many people seem to have something like this. is "OCD" really a mental disorder or is it a human quirk that just isn't held in very high regard?

[Universal Mind]

It looks to me like a lot of people with OCD like to talk about lucid dreaming on the internet. Perhaps the same eccentricity results in both phenomena.

[Kaniaz]

Seems like alot of people have OCD. I'd be inclined to think of what Airrick said - if it's really a mental illness or perhaps just a sort of "quirk". Anyway, I've never had OCD and I don't expect I will have. Though obviously I can't make a perfect guess as to that. What usually happens with me, let's say for example I have to write a very neat essay on some science experiment we've done, I start writing out the first line. The title. "Neat. The writing is incredibly well kept, on the same line, not a single thing must deviate from this line. It's important that it looks neat, neat, neat. Damn, this hand is slow. Hurry up. Why does my hand feel weak? I don't grip pens enough. God, I'm only on the second "e" in "Science Experiment". I wish I had a keyboard to do this. Pens are for cavemen. Get a move on, stupid hand. Got to stay neat, yet go fast." It's about this point I get an intense feeling in my gut that things are going so incredibly slow, time is about to stop. "OK, screw it, I'm writing at light speed. I have better things to do than spend forever hunched over a piece of paper." (goes to handwriting warp drive)... Five minutes later, I'm handing in an essay resembling ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics. To me this doesn't resemble OCD. Instead, my brain goes too fast for my stupid little puny pussy weakling hands. I hate these pussy hands. They're too accustomed to a keyboard.

[AirRick101]

You think it could be a hidden gift, the OCD? It sounds dumb, but it's just an intuitive guess. It's not understood and very well empathized with in the psychiatric realm, and is almost always labelled negative. OCD and dreaming....maybe could have strong ties.

[FoolofJoy]

Hi guys, the only issue I can think of for myself is the handwashing thing. Or touching my face in fear of getting oils on it and breaking out in zits. However, there are some things I've found which may bring some peace to you, they have for me. Firstly, the book listed here http://www.spiritsite.com/writing/louhay/part1.shtml was given to me by a friend. Just read the short excerpt and I think you will see.

[FoolofJoy]

Hi guys, I just had a thought (a chemical reaction in my brain no doubt). A compulsion is very similar to an addiction. Noticing this similarity, I am reminded of a discussion I had at a Sangha gathering a few weeks back. I'll use "compulsion"(the new term) and "addiction"(the original context of discussion word) interchangeably in the following discourse. Something that may be helpful in dealing with our compulsive "feelings" to do certain things is to start by becoming AWARE of our addictions and ACCEPTING them as part of who we are. We must do this with kindness towards ourselves. It is important to note that compulsions are not limited to drugs and alcohol, as an addiction can be ANTHING that we feel compelled to do as a result of A CHEMICAL REACTION IN OUR BRAIN that is percieved as "pleasant" or perhaps "necessary". Some of these things can simply be eating ice cream or riding a motorcycle, skydiving, shopping etc. We can then recognize that in reality, these addictions, which we experience through our 5 senses (sight, smell, touch, taste, sound) are only chemical reactions in our brain and that they are nothing more, we can see the truth and it may help set us free. Just a thought, let me know if this helps anyone, namaste, John