Is love a Choice

[AirRick101]

I've heard several opinions on this. A Christian friend from high school simply describes love as a choice. Another gal from my school says it's not a choice, but more of a spontaneous appreciation or feeling. I understand both sides. Love as a choice is bold, and persistent and overcoming, but at the risk of sounding cold and artificial. Love as the appreciation/feeling is more genuine and honest, but at the risk of being unstable. Or could love be both? I'd like to hear thoughts, feelings, testimonials, whatever, eh.

[Awaken4e1]

Originally posted by AirRick101 I've heard several opinions on this. A Christian friend from high school simply describes love as a choice. Another gal from my school says it's not a choice, but more of a spontaneous appreciation or feeling. I understand both sides. Love as a choice is bold, and persistent and overcoming, but at the risk of sounding cold and artificial. Love as the appreciation/feeling is more genuine and honest, but at the risk of being unstable. Or could love be both? I'd like to hear thoughts, feelings, testimonials, whatever, eh. I think that love, is so much more that an emotional thing. It is an energy which permeates all matter. It is an unstoppable force which all other forces must yield. Love is so often confused with a feeling, but it is all that anyone would ever want to possess. It can not be contained within a single form; it is so much that no thing can possess all that it is. When it comes to the love of another, there is a “knowing” that only true love can know, and no one can tell them other wise. “It is in your gut” The Rev.

[irishcream]

I think it's a 'choice' when you are attracted to someone, and you make that conscious decision to say hello, introduce yourself and begin to get to know each other... Other than that, i don't think you can make a 'conscious' decision to fall in love...I mean, you don't start talking to a really good looking, intelligent man or woman and think 'right, i'm deciding i'm going to fall in love with them' The whole 'falling in love' is purely chemical, based on all sorts of factors... What you might think at first is 'i really like talking to this person, hanging around with them' And then as you get closer, one day you might think 'i've fallen in love with this person' but you don't realise it, because it's a natural extension of the friendship that was already there... That's my thought on it anyhow.

[Lucius]

I don't think you can decide who you will or will not fall in love with. The choice however, lies with what you are going to do with that feeling.

[Hate]

You have good points there, Liz. It's somewhat the same that I think. First, I don't believe in love with the first sight. You can't really love someone you don't even know. Secondly, I believe that, in suitable conditions, it's possible to develop love between any two people. As Liz said, it is a choise to begin to get to know someone, but you can't actually choose to fall in love. You can choose your actions, but not your feelings. So, you can choose not to fall in love with a person if you choose not to get to know them. However, if you give it a chance, you can't know if love will develop between you. That's what I think.

[Middlerun]

I heard somewhere that love at first sight has been scientifically proven. Something to do with a chemical that gets released in the brain. Anyway, I think love is never decided, it is realised. One day you might think "I've just realised I love ____" but I'm sure you'd never think "I have decided to love ____". That would just be forced and artificial, not real love.

[Redeyedwolfking]

i think love is both choice and non choice, the subconscounce might love someone but the conscounce might not decide to. choice love and nonchoice love are different and are not the same kind of love nonchoice: love that is based on lust. example: i love food or television, it can also refere to a person. nonchoice love can evolve into both non choice and choice then only become choice, this is the process that ussually occurs during a complete relationship. non choice is the kind ussually refered to as love at first sight. choice: this love is based on how u look at things. example i love my family even thoe they are really annoying, but u still love them because they have have always taken care of u. a person might decide to love god because he was there creater. although nonchoice love is most peoples favorite kind it is completely usless with out the help of a choice and that choice is true love.

[Hoborg]

Originally posted by Hate As Liz said, it is a choise to begin to get to know someone, but you can't actually choose to fall in love. You can choose your actions, but not your feelings. So, you can choose not to fall in love with a person if you choose not to get to know them. However, if you give it a chance, you can't know if love will develop between you. Yeah, that sounds about right. Thing is, once you are in love, you're screwed, you can't choose to stop loving someone. I guess the safe route is just to avoid the opposite sex altogether

[dreamtamer007]

Originally posted by AirRick101 I've heard several opinions on this. A Christian friend from high school simply describes love as a choice. Another gal from my school says it's not a choice, but more of a spontaneous appreciation or feeling. I understand both sides. Love as a choice is bold, and persistent and overcoming, but at the risk of sounding cold and artificial. Love as the appreciation/feeling is more genuine and honest, but at the risk of being unstable. Or could love be both? I'd like to hear thoughts, feelings, testimonials, whatever, eh. . Once again Jesus answers that 2000 years ago. I’m not trying to sound religious or like I’m holy or anything but He said you could measure it by this, “that a man would lay his life down for another”. Fact and point, there are Americans that die for this country, English that Die for their country. Their cause it not for some fanatical bloodthirsty god like the terrorist. They’re doing it for there fellow man. And that’s the real spirit of love. On another measure you could call it giving.

[Hate]

Originally posted by Redeyedwolfking i think love is both choice and non choice, the subconscounce might love someone but the conscounce might not decide to. choice love and nonchoice love are different and are not the same kind of love nonchoice: love that is based on lust. example: i love food or television, it can also refere to a person. nonchoice love can evolve into both non choice and choice then only become choice, this is the process that ussually occurs during a complete relationship. non choice is the kind ussually refered to as love at first sight. choice: this love is based on how u look at things. example i love my family even thoe they are really annoying, but u still love them because they have have always taken care of u. a person might decide to love god because he was there creater. although nonchoice love is most peoples favorite kind it is completely usless with out the help of a choice and that choice is true love. I get your idea to separate those two kinds of "love" as they're completely different things. However, I don't get how you call them nonchoice and choice loves. What you call nonchoise love, is not real love in my opinion. It's just lust, charm, crush, appeal and things like those. I think it's the first impression that wakes our interest. If you choose to get to know them better, the crush might develop into what I call real love . So yes, it might be a choice to give love a chance to develop, but still I don't think you really could choose to love someone. You also say that you love your family because they have always taken care of you. Is it a choice? Could you suddenly decide not to love them if you wanted to? I don't think so, or then it's not real love. It' might be possible that even real love can fade out and die, but I don't think you can choose that. I'm not saying that I'm right and you're wrong. You might have an idea there, but please elaborate a bit so that I can also understand it.

[Redeyedwolfking]

Originally posted by Hate I get your idea to separate those two kinds of \"love\" as they're completely different things. However, I don't get how you call them nonchoice and choice loves. What you call nonchoise love, is not real love in my opinion. It's just lust, charm, crush, appeal and things like those. I think it's the first impression that wakes our interest. If you choose to get to know them better, the crush might develop into what I call real love . So yes, it might be a choice to give love a chance to develop, but still I don't think you really could choose to love someone. You also say that you love your family because they have always taken care of you. Is it a choice? Could you suddenly decide not to love them if you wanted to? I don't think so, or then it's not real love. It' might be possible that even real love can fade out and die, but I don't think you can choose that. I'm not saying that I'm right and you're wrong. You might have an idea there, but please elaborate a bit so that I can also understand it. choice love would be something or someone u beleive is good so u love it. people have different opinions on what is good or not because of facts they decide to look at or not. So u can decide to love someone because of how u choose to look at them. thats what i meant by choice love yes i think u could decide not to love your family if u look at all the bad things then they wouldent seem so lovable. .

[AirRick101]

There honestly is truth in the highest love proven when one man gives his life for another. But it's only love if it has feeling, and I'm frankly disappointed how a lot of churches don't emphasize feeling enough, unless I'm expecting too much. It could be the churches I went to...I didn't perceive anybody to really live that sort of life, demonstrating real love. Like, a lot of times, religions shoot down the fantastic phenomenon of falling in love, as arbitrary, useless, and childish. I still have something against the idea of "deciding" to love someone. You can "decide" what to do to show love, but does that mean you really love them? I believe it's something we all naturally do underneath, or a natural instinct we may cover up with other non-love emotions. People mistakenly try to skate uphill and "try to love" their enemies, but it's ridiculously futile. That, if possible, is surely a supernatural or amazing feat.