I got picked up by aliens once.
I was driving my car along county route 33, which is near my house. Well, suddenly my car just shuts off, like the power was sucked from it. I then hear this low pitched whistling/humming noise and I see three distinct lights pointed at my car.
After that things get a little blurry, but through dream therapy I've been able to put together what happened.
A grey came up to the side of my car and I felt him say (they didn't speak, it was as if I just "knew" what they were saying) "Do you know how to get to Europa?"
And I couldn't speak, but I was thinking to myself "I think that's one of Jupiter's moons, dunno man."
So they said, "Which way is Jupiter?"
And I said, "It's the huge-ass one. Second rock after the asteroid belt, I think, maybe third. It's orange. Or maybe red."
They asked me to come along to show them where it was, and I said, "think ya got enough gas to make the trip back to drop me off?"
And they nodded. I wasn't allowed to smoke a cig or anything during the trip....crybabies.
So they start flying towards Jupiter, and I didn't know which way it was so I just said "North" which doesn't do a damn bit of good in space. Then I had to take a wikked wizz, but they told me they didn't have bathroom's on their ship. After I showed them which planet I thought was jupiter, (in space, they all look friggin' huge) they thanked me and took me to my car. I asked if we could abduct a few women and get them all nekked and do things they said "eh, that's so nineties man..." I told them I was hungry and they said I could grab something out of the fridge, but all they had was light beer and turkey burritos. I mean, c'mon, turkey? That's such shit man. Anyhoo, they thanked me and sped off into space. It took a little while for me to get my car working again, but it did. Then I got busted by the cops for having an open container, and when they asked me why I was out there at that hour of the night, I told them. Immediately they gave me the breathalizer, and I blew a .22. Must be alien beer is way stronger. I tried to explain the whole deal to the cops, but they wouldn't listen.
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