My Girlfriend and I's bondage/torture debate

[Tavasion]

Somehow, we got onto this topic, and it turned into a long, loud philosophical debate. One side of the argument was that if a girl consents to all the acts that will be performed (such as being tied up, bound, gagged, spanked, whipped, and even the more hardcore stuff that i wont mention here), and the model is the legal age, and the acts themselves are not illegal, then it is allowable. If a person likes pain, and they are turned on by it, then it's okay. The other side is that this form of torture, even if consent is given, is wrong, and that's it. This side also states that violence against women, or even men, in any form, is un-allowable, even if consent is given. Also, that people who enjoy this, as in enjoy being hit, erotic asphyxiation, and all other forms of sexual or non sexual abuse, have some serious psychological problems. It was an intriguing argument, and i wanted to know what you thought on this issue. And i want both men and woman's thoughts on this.

[grasshoppa]

I don't like bondage porn personally. It's kind of fucked up to beat off to a girl crying and moaning at the same time while getting smacked in the face and choked... That's not to say I never have...

[Invader]

This side also states that violence against women, or even men, in any form, is un-allowable, even if consent is given. That's where the line is drawn. If someone gives consent, then all is done with. To say that people should not have the freedom to choose what can and cannot be done to them is ludicrous. Everyone, everyone, should be free to do with themselves what they wish.

[Universal Mind]

Yeah, if it's consentual, then it's okay, as long as you are not causing severe injuries and stuff. If she seriously wants you to cut off her arms, for example, talk to her family about committing her to a psychiatric hospital. Also, make sure she knows what she is doing and that you call it off if she decides into the action that she wants to quit.

[theyearthreethousand]

what happens in porn and a couples bedroom conflict slightly; because there is money involved in porn - so the person may give consent for certain acts to take place, but more than likely they suffer a great deal and do not enjoy it. I do think that's wrong.

[ninja9578]

Bondage is fun, I'll admit I have a few pairs of handcuffs and whips. Of course the handcuffs have safety releases and the business end of the whip is rubber, but it's still fun to handcuff her to the bed, blindfold her, and lick whipped creme off of her.

[Universal Mind]

Bondage is fun, I'll admit I have a few pairs of handcuffs and whips. Of course the handcuffs have safety releases and the business end of the whip is rubber, but it's still fun to handcuff her to the bed, blindfold her, and lick whipped creme off of her. I like doing it to her too.

[Xaqaria]

Just make sure you have a safety word, and everything is fine.

[DrunkenArse]

Petunia is a good one.

[Mes Tarrant]

Yeah I think like, if there's consent, then it's fine unless there's any longterm psychological or physical damage. An example of that would be arms cut off, like someone said. That's why most people agree that cannibalism (as an example of a crazy bedroom fantasy that kills) is not okay, even if a person consents to be eaten. (Heh, it's definitely happened before.)

[Taosaur]

I've known a few women online who were into bondage (subs and doms) and it seems like it's more about the power play between the partners than it is about the pain. It strikes me as a little weird, but all fetishes do--I don't see what's wrong with plain old sex

[Replicon]

If there's consent, and nobody's getting hurt, then there's nothing wrong with it. Obviously, safety becomes a concern, especially for the erotic asphyxiation side of things, where it's not always easy to use a safe word.

[Cacophony]

If both of the people consent then it's totally fine. What goes on in peoples bedrooms should be completely up to them. I think it's stupid to pass judgement on people, let alone try to interfere with peoples sex lives as long as it's consensual.

[Dreams4free]

I've known a few women online who were into bondage (subs and doms) and it seems like it's more about the power play between the partners than it is about the pain. It strikes me as a little weird, but all fetishes do--I don't see what's wrong with plain old sex "plain" "old" keywords that are unattractive in sex.

[Vampyre]

If S&M sex-play is considered wrong because violence is wrong ... is boxing/MMA/wrestling wrong too? They're all consentual and can be much more hazardous. Either party can end it at any time though, which is where the line is made.

[Unelias]

How can someone even label something wrong if it is done between two independent individuals who both accept and like it? O.o

[Fattoxthegreat]

I hate the arbitrary labellings of "right" and "wrong"...Although arguably "too far" or "unreasonably lax", I've long since considered all of life to merely be a sandbox in which there is NO wrong answer. Regardless. This debate is no exception. Consensual bondage is not wrong.