DV Excuse Game!!!!!

Could've, Would've, Didn't

Tell me if people at school actually do miss me after a 2 months

i would but i can't read minds
tell me if anyone cares about anything in general, if you think about your just a advanced ape floating on a giant rock in the middle of f**king nowhere, is there really anything to care about?

I would, but you're making no real sense

Give me an idea on what to write here

i would, but im out of ideas too
start brainstorming ideas

I can't, full stop

Tell me, are "The Live Room", "Gunpoint Snap" and "She Isn't Yours" good enough names for the 3 dreams I had?

I dont know they werent my dreams.

make me stop feeling like a little kid

Only after you finish your homework and clean your room.

Shoot Kirby. I DARE you.

I would, but I don't feel like cleaning up fragments of my monitor, nor fixing a hole in the wall.

Tell me why access-list allow ip any any is not a valid statement in the Cisco 1861 router.

I would, but it's not in my programming.

Program that into me, it sounds delicious.

I would, but I can't find your USB port.

Install a USB port in my brain so I can expand my storage capacity.

i would, but that technology hasn't been invented yet
tell me why i almost forgot to make a command for you to make an excuse for

I would, but without having wireless technology embedded in our brains, I can't download the answer from your memory cells.

Capture the attention of some investors and secure $3B USD worth of funding to research and develop the aforementioned technologies.

I would, but I'm not a mind reader.

Have a lucid dream tonight.

I would, but I'd forget it
Tell me why there is hardly any good music

I would, but I like a random bunch of songs which have nothing to do with eachother, so I can't

Tell me what's in common with the songs I like

i would, but i don't your songs
make my faviourte band reform

I would but I don't know what band it is

Make my nephew stop waking me up every 5 minutes

I would, but I don't know where you are

Give me the ability to fall asleep instantly

would but it involves drugs
tell me what your allergic to

I would, but i'm not allergic to anything, as far as I know

Tell me if I am allergic to anything

I would, but i don't have a allergy test
join the people not supporting climate change

I would, but then I would have to watch the world get destroyed from the rapid climate change without believing that's what caused it.

Learn how to speak Russian.

I would, but I would rather spend my time trying to learn how to lucid dream.
Get me a 3ds with Zelda: Ocarina of Time included

I would, but I don't think the 3ds is released here yet

Tell me why Australia gets everything months later than America (don't just say "Because America rules")

I would but I'm in the same boat as you (seriously how far behind we, like 3 months or something!?)
tell me why 1/2 of the internet is American