The Neverending Story! - *Compiled*

[sloth]

I have taken a bit of time to compile the story so far. There are two versions here, and you may choose what to read, and what not to. The first post will be the story with no modifications or corrections. The second post will be the story as it is, after I cleaned it up a bit, to make it a little more readable. It's still a complete mess, of course, and I cannot guarantee that it is perfectly correct, grammatically. I am no grammar and spelling expert. Also, as you can imagine, some amount of interpretation was needed in various areas of the story. The edited version is my own interpretation of what the various authors were trying to say when crapping out this lovely compilation. If I got it wrong, I am sorry. I tried my best.

[sloth]

The Neverending Story! I woke up at Mt Olympus and I realised that I am dreaming, so I flew into the mountain to get the lost sword. It sword was amazing - it had the ability to raise the dead, EXCEPT, when the dead came back they are EVIL and try to resurrect the demon to kill us. The demons name was Tyler. He has 3 big red eyes. Yet only 2 of them can see. The third eye exploded green liquid. So I flew to the power tower to get the key to the power tower, Which then exploded. So I looked at the sword only to find that it is actually the fabled donkey sword of flower picking and real estate. I picked it up And decided to kill the demon. But the demon had other ideas - It decided to unleash his mighty noisy snoring puppy I approched the puppy. But then I suddenly died. I was revived by a magical leprechaun. He said "you bitch, I was about to kill you myself." I ran towards but I tripped over the demon's big toe. I told he demon - "hej, you! gimme three steps. Gimme three steps mister. The he died. When the sky opened up and God spoke " I don't exist " "please stop leaving all these messages on my machine " "which also does not exist" Then I died. And rose up to the pearly Gates where I met St. Peter. who was cheerfully Smoking a fat blunt. Then, a dragon Busted out another blunt and said, "So this is heaven mate. God has mad weed up here, I can't stop smoking it. Take a toke, you'll see what I'm talking about. "You're right! This weed is shizniddlebamsnipsnapzap!" where can I find the legendary flying purple dildo?" The dragon looked at me with a puzzled glare - "why are you searching for that?" "because I am determined to use it in sexual ways you could use it too, satisfy my delicous But me first" I agreed. He told me to go to Mt. Everest for a lesbian orgy party which ended with donkey sex mania and four chickens Is hollowed out for cooking? They ended up having a brand new cake baking granny. Then the dragon barfed up potatoes. The potatoes said - "finally! We have seen the light! However can we never speak of this event ever again?" the enlightened murmured. The purple dragon ate potatoes. I began my potato eating frenzy! But then suddenly I became very small as a pea. I looked like a muppet. Kermit then appeared and shouted loudly; "you sons of piglets. YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!! then I kindly suggested that he should change his penis into a walrus. Then he decided to dig a hole to China. only to find the city of saltyseedog and friends. we then smoked an entire tree made of marshmallow. We were unbelievably high. But afterwards we had lots goat milk and oreos. We talked about the complexities and danced to medieval tribal music. That was, until salty looked up and saw a purple object - could it be a..... large shiny metal mosaic dolphin sculture? No! It was SUPERMAN! He flew away. So I spawned wings and followed him. It was windy so I lost him. So I decided to give up. And smoke a water filled satchel. that was filled with love and hate. It took forever to get the damn thing up to the top of the mountain then we had sushi and magic-brownies and ate magic together, spreading love all over the summit. It was a beautiful sight. Then we changed to a new land of snowmen, they were fond of dancing to dirty raindeer ballads in the rain. Afterwards, we took Lysergic Acid Diethylamide which made us discover ourselves, perspectively. After discovering this, we then took several magic mushrooms which completely changed everyones faces into awesome smiley faces. But then the faces turned into large baby diapers. Evil monkey demons spawned in front of my smiley face and shouted - "fuck you Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then I proceeded to shoot myself but it was amazingly beautiful. Blood was spurting everywhere! Monkey demons licked my pelvis, it was covered in blood and I really really really wanna zig ah zay ah. Then confused I, looked it up only to find the spice girls. "What are you talking about, erible?" asked Raspberry, looking confused, I say "Candlelight. Just. Candlelight." Suddenly, a huge grape vine with slugs and snails crawling upon it sprouted out of my left nostril. The snails begun to grow teeth and started assaulting my grandmother. It was a horrific she pulled out a rusty blade and shoved it Into her neck into a banananinja. The banananinjas ran into the wilderness and formulated a plan to change the story because they were deeply intimidated by the flying purple shaded dragon woman. That was, until it started raining And I forgot what happened two seconds ago so I went to the volcano to fry chicken for top secret secret organizations that traded illegally smuggled shiny new kittens to sell to polar bears. The bears ate fish so that they stayed kosher. The polar bears went to Guantanamo Bay. My ultimate enemy appeared right before me. his name was Ralf. He stabbed me in my throat, killing my throat worms, which was awesome! Except that now I have sarcoidosis. Until sloth decides to not say what is obviously meant to be a fire breathing llama. Instead of camel dipped cookies That cause wretched diarrhea of epic proportions. It left many a soul longing for death, while living in Paris, or Cairo because their toilets were all clogged up. But then came a miracle, the toilets unclogged. Peace returned to wherever that was. But then, a challenger appeared! The Challenger was wearing a technicolour dreamcoat and was ready to unleash his unjust fury toward those who danced ballet, or sang poorly. Suddenly erible asked sloth "What are you doing to my Bacon covered eggs? "I love your eyes! why is the sky blue? Why can’t it rain Easter peeps?

[sloth]

The Neverending Story! (edited) I woke up at Mt Olympus and I realised that I was dreaming, so I flew into the mountain to get the lost sword. The sword was amazing. It had the ability to raise the dead, except that when the dead come back they are EVIL, and try to resurrect the demon to kill us. The demon's name was Tyler. He had three big, red eyes, yet only two of them could see. The third eye exploded green liquid. So, I flew to the power tower to get the key to the power tower, which then exploded. I looked at the sword only to find that it was actually the fabled donkey sword of flower picking and real estate. I picked it up and decided to kill the demon, but the demon had other ideas. It decided to unleash its mighty, noisy, snoring puppy. I approched the puppy, but then I suddenly died. I was revived by a magical leprechaun. He said, "You bitch! I was about to kill you, myself." I ran towards him, but I tripped over the demon's big toe. I said to the demon, "Hey, you! Gimme three steps. Gimme three steps mister." Then he died. The sky opened up, and God spoke, "I don't exist. Please stop leaving all these messages on my machine, which also does not exist." Then I died, and rose up to the pearly gates, where I met St. Peter. He was cheerfully smoking a fat blunt. A dragon busted out another blunt and said, "So this is heaven, mate. God has mad weed up here. I can't stop smoking it. Take a toke. You'll see what I'm talking about." "You're right! This weed is shizniddlebamsnipsnapzap!" I said. "Where can I find the legendary flying purple dildo?" The dragon looked at me with a puzzled glare. "Why are you searching for that?" "Because I am determined to use it in sexual ways. You could use it too. Satisfy my delicous, but me first." I said. He told me to go to Mt. Everest for a lesbian orgy party, which ended with donkey sex mania and four chickens were hollowed out for cooking. They ended up having a brand new cake-baking granny. Then, the dragon barfed up potatoes. The potatoes said, "Finally! We have seen the light! However, can we never speak of this event ever again?" the enlightened murmured. The purple dragon ate potatoes. I began my potato eating frenzy! But then, suddenly, I became very small, like a pea. I looked like a muppet. Kermit then appeared and shouted loudly, "You sons of piglets! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!! " Then I kindly suggested that he change his penis into a walrus. He decided to dig a hole to China, only to find the city of Saltyseedog and Friends. We then smoked an entire tree made of marshmallow. We were unbelievably high, but afterwards we had a lot of goat's milk and oreos. We talked about complexities and danced to medieval tribal music. That was until Salty looked up and saw a purple object. Could it be a large shiny metal mosaic dolphin sculture? No! It was SUPERMAN! He flew away, so I spawned wings and followed him. It was windy, so I lost him. I decided to give up, and smoke a water filled satchel that was filled with love and hate. It took forever to get the damn thing up to the top of the mountain. Then we had sushi and magic-brownies, and ate magic together, spreading love all over the summit. It was a beautiful sight. Then we changed to a new land of snowmen. They were fond of dancing to dirty reindeer ballads in the rain. Afterwards, we took Lysergic Acid Diethylamide, which made us discover ourselves, perspectively. After discovering this, we then took several magic mushrooms which completely changed everyones faces into awesome smiley faces, but then the faces turned into large baby diapers. Evil monkey demons spawned in front of my smiley face and shouted, "Fuck you, bitch!" Then I proceeded to shoot myself, but it was amazingly beautiful. Blood was spurting everywhere! Monkey demons licked my pelvis. It was covered in blood, and I really really really wanna zig ah zay ah. Then, confused, I looked this up only to find the spice girls. "What are you talking about, erible?" asked Raspberry, looking confused. erible said, "Candlelight. Just Candlelight." Suddenly, a huge grape vine, with slugs and snails crawling upon it, sprouted out of my left nostril. The snails begun to grow teeth and started assaulting my grandmother. It was a horrific. She pulled out a rusty blade and shoved it into her neck, and into a banananinja. The banananinjas ran into the wilderness and formulated a plan to change the story, because they were deeply intimidated by the flying, purple-shaded dragon woman. That was, until it started raining and I forgot what had happened two seconds earlier. I went to the volcano to fry some chicken for top secret organizations that traded illegally smuggled, shiny, new kittens to sell to polar bears. The bears ate fish, so that they stayed kosher. The polar bears went to Guantanamo Bay. My ultimate enemy appeared right before me. His name was Ralf. He stabbed me in my throat, killing my throat worms, which was awesome! Except that now I have sarcoidosis. sloth decided to not say what was obviously meant to be a fire breathing llama, instead of camel dipped cookies, that cause wretched diarrhea of epic proportions. This left many souls longing for death while living in Paris, or Cairo, because their toilets were all clogged up. Then came a miracle. The toilets unclogged. Peace returned to wherever that was. But then a challenger appeared! The Challenger was wearing a technicolour dreamcoat, and was ready to unleash his unjust fury towards those who danced ballet, or sang poorly. Suddenly, erible asked sloth "What are you doing to my Bacon covered eggs?" "I love your eyes! Why is the sky blue? Why can't it rain Easter peeps?