alcohol

[jacobo]

>>>Dear Alcohol, >>>>> >>>>>First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. >>>>>As my >>>>>friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect >>>>>post-work >>>>>cocktail, a beer at the game, and you're even around during the >>>>>holiday's - hidden inside chocolates, as you warm us when we're >>>>>stuck >>>>>in the midst of endless family gatherings. However, lately I've >>>>>been >>>>>wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that >>>>>you have >>>>>my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led >>>>>to some >>>>>unwise consequences: >>>>> >>>>>1. Phone calls: While I agree with you that communication is >>>>>important, I question the suggestion that any conversation of >>>>>substance or necessity takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you >>>>>make me >>>>>call those ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they >>>>>do >>>>>not want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of >>>>>the >>>>>night? >>>>> >>>>>2. Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why do you >>>>>suggest >>>>>that I eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big Italian >>>>>meatball >>>>>and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with a >>>>>Kit >>>>>Kat after a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries)? I'm an >>>>>eclectic >>>>>eater, but I think you went too far this time. >>>>> >>>>>3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I >>>>>need to >>>>>do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the >>>>>issue >>>>>home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, >>>>>and the >>>>>black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next >>>>>day >>>>>are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 >>>>>seconds >>>>>to get the front door key into the lock. >>>>> >>>>>4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This is getting >>>>>ridiculous! I know a little penance for our previous evening's >>>>>debauchery may be in order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is >>>>>completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that, if >>>>>the >>>>>proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, >>>>>aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out face down on the >>>>>kitchen >>>>>floor with a bag of popcorn, the hangover should be minimal & in >>>>>no >>>>>way interfere with my daily activities. >>>>> >>>>>Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now & >>>>>would like >>>>>to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker >>>>>of >>>>>great stories, the provocation for much laughter, and the needed >>>>>companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money >>>>>in my >>>>>pockets. In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you >>>>>carefully review my grievances above & address them immediately. >>>>>I >>>>>will look for an answer no later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy >>>>>hour) on >>>>>your possible solutions & hopefully we can continue this >>>>>fruitful >>>>>partnership. >>>>> >>>>>Thanks, >>>>>Your Biggest Fan >>>>> >>>>>P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: >>>>>1. Innovative >>>>>2. Preliminary >>>>>3. Proliferation >>>>>4. Cinnamon >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: >>>>>1. Specificity >>>>>2. British Constitution >>>>>3. Passive-aggressive disorder >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: >>>>>1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. >>>>>2. Nope, no more beer for me. >>>>>3. Sorry, but you're not really my type. >>>>>4. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight? >>>>>5. Oh, I couldn't. No one wants to hear me sing

[Demerzel]

hahahahhaha

[Gwendolyn]

Originally posted by adidas >>>>> >>>>>P.S. THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: >>>>>1. Innovative >>>>>2. Preliminary >>>>>3. Proliferation >>>>>4. Cinnamon My last name is Cinnamon

[InTheMoment]

>>>>>THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: * >>>>>1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex. * >>>>>2. Nope, no more beer for me. * >>>>>3. Sorry, but you're not really my type. [/b] LOL...so true! Gwen Wrote: <div class='quotetop'>QUOTE My last name is Cinnamon[/b] [/b][/quote] Mmmm tasty. ~

[Pyro Yuy]

....................... sorry you lost me at alcohol.... hmmmm alcohol...

[Alaurast78]

Originally posted by adidas >>>>>3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I * >>>>>need to >>>>>do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer the * >>>>>issue >>>>>home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary, * >>>>>and the >>>>>black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next * >>>>>day >>>>>are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 * >>>>>seconds >>>>>to get the front door key into the lock. I am so clumsy when i am drunk it is not even funny.... So did Alcohol reply?