Funny Lyrics

[CatLover]

Haha, I'm a country music fan *don't hurt me* I love country music. It rocks. Well, there's all kinds of really funny lyrics in country music, so I'll post fragments of them: [b]What's a Guy Gotta Do - Joe Nichols[b] [i]Had an old man tell me "Boy if you were smart you'd hit the produce isle at the Super Walmart" So I bumped into a pretty girl's shopping cart but all I did was break her eggs and bruise her artichoke hearts[i] ^^ lmao, [b]Pickin' Wildflowers - Keith Anderson[b] http://www.onlylyrics.com/song.php?id=27649 That song's so funny I just gave you a link, long song though. Heh, that rhymed... *cough* Daddy's Money - Ricochet Can't concentrate on the preacher preaching My attention span done turned off I'm honed in on that angel singing Up there in the choir loft Chorus: She's got her daddy's money Her mama's good looks More laughs than a stack of comic books A wild imagination A college education Add it all up it's a deadly combination She's a good bass fisher A dynamite kisser Country as a turnip green She's got her daddy's money Her mama's good looks And look who's lookin' at me Her second cousin was my third grade teacher I used to cut her grandma's grass Back then she was nothin' but knees and elbows Golly did she grow up fast Repeat Chorus Rofl. I thought they were funny. Anyone here have any funny lyrics? LOL or anything funny?! Yeah, I was bored...

[jacobo]

i slipped this into the ipod playlist while my girlfriend was in the car... she liked it very much. This is a song for the ladies But fellas listen closely You don't always have to fuck her hard In fact sometimes that's not right to do Sometimes you've got to make some love And fuckin give her some smoochies too Sometimes ya got to squeeze Sometimes you've got to say please Sometime you've got to say hey I'm gonna Fuck you softly I'm gonna screw you gently I'm gonna hump you sweetly I'm gonna ball you discreetly And then you say hey I bought you flowers And then you say wait a minute sally I think I got somethin in my teeth Could you get it out for me That's fuckin teamwork Whats your favorite posish? That's cool with me Its not my favorite But I'll do it for you Whats your favorite dish? Im not gonna cook it But ill order it from Zanzibar And then I'm gonna love you completely And then I'll fuckin fuck you discreetly And then I'll fucking bone you completely But then I'm gonna fuck you hard Hard

[CatLover]

lol I'd never be able to guess the title to that song

[latency]

Here's two of Radiohead's crazy b-sides that are very much some of their f-material Pop is Dead Oh no, pop is dead Long live pop. It died an ugly death, By back catalogue. And know you know it gets you nowhere, And now you know you realise. Oh no, pop is dead It just gave up, We raise the dead but they won't stand up. And radio have salmonella, And now you know you gotta die. It left this message for us. So what, pop is dead, it's no great loss So many face lifts, it's face flew off. The Emperor he has no clothes on, And his skin is pealing off. Oh no, pop is dead, long live pop, One final lot of coke to jack him off... Jack him off.. He left this message for us. He left this message for us. He left this message for us Banana Co. Oh Banana co. We really love you and we need you And oh banana co. We'd really love to believe you But everything's underground We gotta dig it up somehow Yeah yeah Oh she said "No go" She said she'd like to She's seen you But no, no go She knows if you die then we all do And everything's underground We've gotta dig it up somehow Yeah yeah Everything's burning down We gotta put it out somehow Yeah yeah

[Gezus]

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love. It had been a while. In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10. I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops. Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips, milky white skin and baby blue eyes. Name was Russell. Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave", this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock. Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin', ‘cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer." Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern, and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask as I do my little kooky dance. And then she told me to shush. I guess she could sense my desperation. ‘Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl. Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true. So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?" Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. Got to nail her back at her trailer. Heh. That rhymes. I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula. Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Well I find it's quite a thrill When she grinds me against her will Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin' Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch, gave the tranny a spin and slid on into The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop. There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb", when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton. Well, my heart just dropped. So, I decided to do what any good Christian would. You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five in an eighteen-wheeler. I never thought missing children could be so sexy. Did I say that out loud? -Bloodhound Gang - A lap dance is so much better when the stripper is crying

[InTheMoment]

I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean. [/b] lol...what a brilliant song all around!