what do you guys think of "farts"?

**YourTheManNowDog** · 10-19-2005 05:54 PM

Do you hate when people fart in public or are you impressed by a strong trumpet. Do you often fart in front of others loudly and proudly or are you a sick shit who opens up his cheeks and lets out a silencer waiting for peoples reactions to the smell. i saw a guy at the mall literally spread his asscheeks with his right hand and farted, i was like why did he have to grab his cheek and pull it apart it would have still come out.

**A Lost Soul** · 10-19-2005 06:34 PM

I think this belongs in Senseless Banter.

**YourTheManNowDog** · 10-19-2005 07:04 PM

Neeeyyyyy!

**Tornado Joe** · 10-19-2005 08:44 PM

Do you hate when people fart in public or are you impressed by a strong trumpet[/b]

Strong trumpet - specially among friends, like a competition. However, I speak of my earlier schooldays. Haven't been in \"champion form\" for quite sometime now.... at least not publicly

Do you often fart in front of others loudly and proudly or are you a sick shit who opens up his cheeks and lets out a silencer waiting for peoples reactions to the smell[/b]

Sick shit - sort of. The purpose for cuffing a silencer is like that of it's use on a rifle or handgun... avoiding detection. I'd prefer there were no \"odiferous evidence\" that followed, if possible. However, there are times when it is welcomed - for example, when repulsing others is the desired effect.

i saw a guy at the mall literally spread his asscheeks with his right hand and farted, i was like why did he have to grab his cheek and pull it apart it would have still come out.[/b]

Merely practicing proper technique, in my opinion. Squeezing cheeks could produce a backjam - pressure back into the colon. Giving the gas an unobstructed path ensures a direct and clean exit (provided there are no projectiles lingering inside).

As a fellow fart fan you probably should have approached him afterwards (once the smoke cleared) and commended him for his public display of fundamental fart tactics.

**Dangeruss** · 10-20-2005 04:17 AM

a clear shot through the cheeks is necessary for a 'clean' fart. I prefer the right cheek sneak when sitting down, but when standing i stand with my legs more spread that usual. this reduces uncomfortable vibrations, loud trumpetting noises, and slow, stagnant spreading of the wind.

my friends and I play a game where we try to trick the other person into leaning forward or crouching over, then quickly blowing a fart right in their face. This works best indoors, lest the smell dissipate immediately.

**InTheMoment** · 10-20-2005 03:25 PM

I don't fart...I poot.

**andorf** · 10-20-2005 08:28 PM

Originally posted by InTheMoment
I don't fart...I poot.

lol.. i dont fart either, i wind-shite

**OpheliaBlue** · 10-20-2005 11:00 PM

My favorite mean fart trick:

Since in general, most people would assume that, if you hear/smell a fart in public, and the only 2 people who could have done it were a husband and wife, the husband is automatically presumed guilty. Because a women would NEVER fart in public.

So, when I had to let one rip in public, all I had to do was go stand by my exhusband, break wind freely, then say "ew honey!" and look all disgusted and walk away, leaving him to bear responsibility of the fart, as well as the smell.

MAN he hated that