how do you help a friend who suffers from major depression?

[Sassinator]

I ask this question because I'm at a loss at this point. I've been there for my friend through the really dark times. I have understood her need to be alone, and her missing lots and lots of work and distancing herself from her family and stuff but I don't seem able to fix it. Though in all fairness she's been going through it her whole life without fixing it yet so its unrealistic to think I could do something in a couple months. It sucks to have a friend feeling so dark and blue, I miss the "happy" friend I use to be around. Any thoughts of ways to help someone out of a depression?

[Scwigglie]

I've had friends like this before.. You know, it might not be the kind of depression that can be cured by a friend. She may need some professional help, and the sooner the better. A lot of people seem to fear the idea of going to a psychiatrist/psychologist, but some of the people I know have really benefitted.

[Sassinator]

I know you are right about that. The only problem is money, because she hasn't been at work for so long they've garnished her wages so I'm trying to help find alternate ways of getting her help. Though she has gone to her family physician and was put on Paxil, but these things take a few weeks or months to kick in. Boo to that! Though I don't think instant acting anti-depressants would be a good thing. Because even though it would be an instant fix, you would have forced a massive change in brain chemistry very rapidly and I can't help but think that would have very bad consequences.

[Scwigglie]

Yeah, some of that medication can cause a change in personality, or atleast some portion of the brain that affects thoughts/actions. Hmm.. is there one big issue that's causing her depression, or did it kind of appear out of the blue?

[jacobo]

talk to her. good luck. when ever my friends are down i find it's best to just be there for them... if she doesn't want the help that's her decision. how old is she? is she on any medications? the pill maybe?

[MSG]

my friend cuts her wrists and she cried out of the blue and she gets mad at people for no reason and shes threatened to kill herself before and she gets all bitchy when i try to help her so ive just given up...

[CT]

Originally posted by pOOp my friend cuts her wrists and she cried out of the blue and she gets mad at people for no reason and shes threatened to kill herself before and she gets all bitchy when i try to help her so ive just given up... are you sure thats a friend you're talking about or just some random person you hang out in school with. doesnt sound like you're her friend.

[Scwigglie]

You know I think that's a rumor, about the pill causing depression or something like that. I'm actually on it, and there has been no change in my personality or anything whatsoever.

[Death-Wuad]

Well it's not like it's going to do that everytime. For example, my Spalik Transconductor Telecommunicator has only an 80% chance of fatality.

[jacobo]

Originally posted by Scwigglie You know I think that's a rumor, about the pill causing depression or something like that. I'm actually on it, and there has been no change in my personality or anything whatsoever. * it causes mood swings in some. my ex is a prime example of that.

[MSG]

Originally posted by CT+--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(CT)</div> <!--QuoteBegin-pOOp my friend cuts her wrists and she cried out of the blue and she gets mad at people for no reason and shes threatened to kill herself before and she gets all bitchy when i try to help her so ive just given up... are you sure thats a friend you're talking about or just some random person you hang out in school with. doesnt sound like you're her friend. [/b] well... she was my friend a long time ago, and she was fine, but she is all semi-gothic now

[Scwigglie]

well... she was my friend a long time ago, and she was fine, but she is all semi-gothic now[/b] Hey, that sounds exactly like one of my ex-friends!! Oh man, I really miss who she used to be though.

[CT]

sorry if that sounded a bit mean. But you where friends right? Sounds like she just wants some attention, someone who listens, not even understands but just listens, and someone who cares. Everyone does.

[Jin]

meditation.

[nightowl]

how about taking your friend out to have fun then? stuff that you guys liked to do before they changed.

[Sassinator]

Taking your friend out of her home or wherever she is "hiding out" is a good idea. When I say hiding out its because people who are deeply depressed tend to close themselves off from the world. One of the best things for depression is going for walks, because you are in motion and your mind has to think about what it is physically doing and its really hard to focus on the negative stuff if you are doing that. The walking thing also helps people with agoraphobia, I should know I use to have that myself when I was 18-20 years old.

[CT]

what is that?

[Scwigglie]

Fear of outdoor/public places.

[Sassinator]

Scwigglie has basically got it. Agoraphobia: Fear of open spaces/marketplace. I use to have that coupled with panic attacks and generalized anxiety. So I was generally very tense back in the day. I've chilled out considerably since then. To get over all that junk I used stuff like T'ai Chi (ie. meditation in motion), biofeeback therapy, word replacement therapy, learning about anxiety from the net and books, the bible, friends, family, psychology...and lots of walking. I've started yoga lately, its kind of weird how something with such slow movements can actually get your heart rate up and burn calories and tone muscles. The monks that started doing this stuff all those centuries ago knew what they were doing.