Lol Church People

[ilovefrootloopz]

Sorry about this useless post, but the doorbell rang so I went to answer it. It was two guys from a church in a my city, saying that if my family weren't members of it, we should join. I said, the honest truth: "Sorry guys, but I'm Jewish." Haha it was really funny at the moment. They were like "Oh, ok" but they stood there for like 10 seconds before moving to the next house. Sorry, I just needed to say it or else I'd explode inside

[FunkyMonk]

church people are silly sometimes. I kinda wanted to get a mormon to try to convert my mom. She's super catholic and would freak out.

[badassbob]

I think we should hunt them down to where they live, and knock on their front door regularly trying to convert them to atheism or agnosticism.

[The Blue Meanie]

Yah, despite being a mostly agnostic/atheist country (New Zealand), we still get the occaisional Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, and Seventh Day Adventurers goin' door-to-door. I remember once, some Seventh Day Adventurers came knocking at my fricking door trying to give away videotapes and magazines, and convert people. So, I invited them in for some tea (It was school holidays and I was bored, and felt like fucking with some nutcases), and listened to a mini-sermon thingie. It was some tall, austere looking blonde guy. Looked very serious, like he had a crucifix shoved up his ass or summin'. Then I told the bastard I was a satanist. The look on his face was WORTH a frickin 20-minute sermon.

[Ev]

lol, I loved the "then I told them I was a satanist" part Church people dont annoy me too much but it sure is awkward when they are standing on your doorstep and you cant get rid of them fast enough

[TweaK]

"ARE YOU A MEMBER OF THE CHURCH YET ?!?!?!?!?!" "No." "WELL YOU SHOULD JOIN!" "No." Gold.

[Peregrinus]

This is not a tactic that I have personally witnessed (thankfully); however, I have it on good authority that it is quite an effective deterrent of persistent witnesses/converters. Warning: this strategy is not for the modest. When my brother is in a particularly mischievous mood and spots the converters walking down the street (they&#39;re fairly easy to recognize, being the only ones wearing full suits and church dresses on an otherwise empty late morning/afternoon), he strips down to his boxers or nothing at all depending on how determined the converters look, grabs a large chef knife from the kitchen, and then waits in the next room until they come knocking. Answering the door partially or completely nude, he stands there until they speak. Sometimes they just turn away, and sometimes they cautiously start in on their spiel. If they start the spiel, he waits for the inevitable, "Have you accepted <insert salvation persona> into your life," then informs them that he is a proud practitioner of free love nudism, indicates the cooking knife, and asks if they&#39;d like to stay for dinner. So far, he&#39;s never been taken up on that offer. Total time of encounter: 0 - 60 seconds. Reward: The priceless look of shocked pious modesty.

[badassbob]

"ARE YOU A MEMBER OF THE CHURCH YET ?!?!?!?!?!" "No." "WELL YOU SHOULD JOIN!" "No." Gold. [/b] That's an ingenious idea. I've never thought of saying that before. You truly are an inspiration to the whole of mankind.

[Kaniaz]

I don't know. If I thought you were going to be suffering an eternity of pain I might go out of my way to do something about it too, y'know?

[TweaK]

That's an ingenious idea. I've never thought of saying that before. You truly are an inspiration to the whole of mankind. [/b] I know. I am só great.

[ilovefrootloopz]

Haha TweaK you ARE a genius. The Blue Meanie that's hilarious haha. Dam you should've taken a picture I'd pay to see it

[TweaK]

Haha TweaK you ARE a genius.[/b] I know, I know.

[MSG]

<3 God

[NeAvO]

Nothing worse then when you are doing something important and you get the knock on the door. Just feel like saying "I've got a god and not interested in getting a new one." Then they go on and on.

[badassbob]

Maybe the best solution would be a sledge hammer, or a crowbar?

[NeAvO]

Maybe the best solution would be a sledge hammer, or a crowbar? [/b] Don't mess with Christians, they fight dirty

[wombing]

*laughs* peregrinus, your brother sounds righteous.

[Amethyst Star]

*shakes head* I know that there are a lot of "witnesses" or "evangelists" or whatever you choose to call them out in the world. Let me share with you my experiences. As a Christian, I do want to tell people what I believe and I believe that I have a good reason to (as inherent in my beliefs). Here on my university campus, I have gone to a number of dorm rooms. But here's what I've done. With the group that I'm with, at the beginning of the semester we set up tables around campus with several things on them. First, we have a "Freshman Survival Kit" with (yes) a Bible, a book (varying, depending on what we have), a highlighter, and some silly putty that all comes in a mesh bag that can double as a sports/laundry/etc. bag. So, if you don't want the books, you can keep the highlighter, putty, and bag (though we'd rather just get the books back rather than see them in the trash). Secondly, we often have a drawing for a $100 gift certificate for our book store (which, as college students know, will buy 3/4ths of a book or a calculator, but hey, it's still nice). The way that you sign up for the drawing is that you fill out a simple 4-question survey on a little card. It asks two questions on your beliefs and then there are two questions asking if you would like to be contacted. You can say no. Then, we take the cards that have replied yes or maybe and go and visit their rooms. If they're not there, then we'll check back. If they are there, we ask them if they have time to look over a booklet that we have. If they say no, we thank them for their time and leave. If you say yes, then we have a conversation. Sure, some people are like telemarketers, but they shouldn't be. And just to even things out, while religious people (and I use that term loosely) may be "easily offended," athiests are more often than not just the same if not worse, depending on the person. Differences in religion shouldn't be a cause for rude behavior. .... if they refuse to leave, however, then feel free to shut the door or call the cops or whatnot. Just don't slam it in their faces. I just felt like I had to share this, having had some experience with it. And a big thanks to all the people who just say, "No thanks, I'm not interested."

[The Blue Meanie]

Hey Amé! Hey, just out of interest: What version of the bible do you work from/use? (I'm working my way through the old testament at the moment... if there's one thing I hate, it's ignorant christians, but ALSO, ignorant atheists... I figure if you're going to be an outspoken activist AGAINST a religion, like myself, you should at least be very familiar with that religion...)

[shark!]

I have nothing but the greatest respect for all Christian fundamentalists and evangelists, b/c it must take a lot of stamina and dedication to successfully block out all forms of logic and reason for as long as they do.

[badassbob]

I wonder how many people actually convert to different religeons/ adopt a religeon from atheism or agnosticism because of these people knocking at the door. It must be something like one a year (if that).

[The Blue Meanie]

I wonder how many people actually convert to different religeons/ adopt a religeon from atheism or agnosticism because of these people knocking at the door. It must be something like one a year (if that). [/b] Yeah, but that's not the POINT. They don't knock on doors to convert people. This can be best illustrated by the case of Jehovah's Witnesses. Their doctrine of faith, although I'm murky on the exact details, involves a premise that only a SELECT few of the souls on earth will make it to heaven. Thus, the majority of people will NOT be jehovah's witnesses, they will reject the true faith. Therefore, doorknocking, and the CONSTANT rejection that results, serves as an AFFIRMATION of that faith. By exposing themselves to rejection of the faith, Jehovah's Witnesses are sort of "proving" to themselves that they ARe amoungst the select few who will go to heaven... This is somewhat DIFFERENT from the more open-handed, "honest" conversion that Amé was advocating.

[Peregrinus]

Ame, I think the "church people" to which most people in this thread have been referring are the ones who canvas a neighborhood like door-to-door salespeople. I personally have absolutely no problem with what you do, especially since it is an integral part of your belief system and you feel that you are honestly helping people. However, people on your campus have a choice - if they're interested or curious, they can approach your table and inquire. You don't force your beliefs on anyone. You don't stand on someone's doorstep after they've told you repeatedly that they're not interested in adopting another set of spiritual or religious beliefs, after they've said, "No thanks, not interested" several times in several different ways only to have their visitor come up with another set of "but...." to prolong a conversation that isn't going anywhere. Spiritual and religious beliefs are deeply personal (or they should be). An unwilling person cannot "convert" in any meaningful way, so it is only an exercise in stubborn annoyance to keep someone repeating the same tired, old string of: "not interested." ... "no, not interested" ... "really, really not interested" ... "I'd honestly rather risk the fiery punishment of your Hell than continue this conversation" If someone feels that they are missing something in their life which a new sense of religion can fill and make whole, they will take the initiative. They will approach your table, for instance, seeking help and answers, or visit a local church or spiritual group. But I'm with badassbob, I'd like to know how many people actually convert. I can't imagine that the door-to-door peddling of religion is a very successful marketing strategy. And to be honest, I think it cheapens the entire experience. Spirituality should not be distributed like crates of fresh Valencia oranges. If a person feels that they need and are ready to make the internal change from their set of beliefs to another, they will seek out the knowledge and the assistance they require.

[Amethyst Star]

I appreciate your responses and I just wanted to share my experiences and also say that not all religions (or sub-sections of "Christianity"....) are door-to-door salesmen. I am neither a Jehovah's Witness, nor a Mormon. Rather than going door to door and asking people if they want to hear what I have to say, I perfer to try and love people the best that I can and show that there is something different about my life. If people want what I have, then I'd be more than happy to share with them how to get it, but if not, then that is their choice and we can talk about "V for Vendetta" or play Counterstrike or something like that. (And if you're wondering about the punctuation, I do use it for very specific reasons, and if you have any questions as to whether something is in parentheses or quotations, feel free to ask.) And Blue, as for the translation that is used in the tracks we have, it's the New International Version. I think it's an okay translation, but I do have some discrepancies with it sometimes, though that's mainly with the study bibles that try to help one understand what a passage is saying. Often it's good clarification, but sometimes I think otherwise. I like to use the New King James in my own studies, but if I knew Ancient Greek, Hebrew, or Aramaic, I would translate it myself. And shark, I want to add briefly that that was uncalled for. -Amé

[Neruo]

I allways say I am a satanist.