My AOL Tech Support Conversation.

**Kaniaz** · 06-17-2004 07:26 PM

This is the first and last time I ever ring anything called "Tech Support". This happened yesterday (as of the time of this post):

Switchboard: If...you...are....a....new....A..OL....customer... .please....press...one....
Switchboard: If...you...are...a...exsisting...A...OL....custome r...please...press...two...
*beep* (press two)

Switchboard: If...you...are...an...A....OL...broadband......... customer...please...press...two...
*beep* (press two)

Switchboard: If...you...are...having...trouble...connecting...f or...the...firsttime....please....press.....one
Switchboard: If...you...have...connected...before...but...are.. ..now...having...difficultes....please...press.... two
*beep* (press two)

Guy: Hello, AOL Tech Support, can I have your master screename please?
Me: Richs.
Guy: And your name?
Me: Richard <blank>.
Guy: Can you spell that for me please?
Me: R-I-C-H...
Guy: Yep?
Me: A-R-D...
Guy: Okay. And your address?
Me: 12 Wavely Road...
Guy: Can you spell that for me?
Me: W-A-V-E-L-Y.
Guy: Is that L for love?
Me: Yes.

Guy: Okay, and what's the problem?
Me: I uninstalled my drivers and I tried to reinstall them but it didn't work.
Guy: Okay. Go into start...
Me: Yep...
Guy: All programs...
Me: Yep...
Guy: Is there a folder called \"BT Voyager 100?\"
Me: No.
Guy: (surprised) Oh.

Guy: Okay, find the folders you've got the drivers in and run the doctor program.
Me: It crashed.
Guy: It crashed?
Me: Yes. It crashed.
Guy: Okay, can you get rid of that then.
Me: Right, I'll just wait for this big white box to go away then.

Guy: (can't figure it out) I'll talk to the chief engineer, I'll put you on hold for a minute.

For the next ten minutes, I am treated to an amazing looped peice of classical music.

Guy: Okay, he said there's something wrong with your computer.
Me: Really?
Guy: Yeah.
Me: I see.
Me: Thankyou for your help. *hangs up*
[/b]

So, after 20 minutes of talking and tedious "click this click that", I got the result from their chief technican:

"There's something wrong with your computer."

Thankyou AOL, that has cleared everything up for me.

**dougdrums** · 06-17-2004 09:21 PM

Guy: Is that L for love?
[/b]

That was the only reason he kept you on for twenty minutes.

**Kaniaz** · 06-17-2004 09:28 PM

Perhaps ringing them at almost midnight was a bad idea.

**baconmastermind** · 06-18-2004 06:34 AM

I think the moral of this story is that AOL sucks... a lot.

**Truthbearer** · 06-19-2004 12:26 AM

Nah, I think the moral of the story is the Kaniaz is named Richard...

**jacobo** · 06-19-2004 01:02 AM

so we could call him dick for short, no?

**Truthbearer** · 06-19-2004 03:17 AM

I thought we already did...oh well, now we are even more justified to do so.....

**Kaniaz** · 06-19-2004 10:31 AM

Richard is my father's name. My first name is Steven.

**Demerzel** · 06-19-2004 07:48 PM

I must take this opportunity to laugh at everybody who said that Kaniaz was Richard.

Oh, and I thought you had Linux, Kaniaz (Click Start, All Programs)

**jacobo** · 06-19-2004 08:14 PM

Originally posted by Techboy
I must take this opportunity to laugh at everybody who said that Kaniaz was Richard.

that's beside the point... he's a direct decedent of dick... hmmm i suppose you could say the same about everyone.

i'll be quiet now.

**Truthbearer** · 06-20-2004 06:40 AM

I guess you are right Adidas, we all do...

Originally posted by Techboy
I must take this opportunity to laugh at everybody who said that Kaniaz was Richard.

You might want to ease up on that laughing at us, or we'll end up calling you "Dick"...

**Kaniaz** · 06-20-2004 01:02 PM

You might want to ease up on that laughing at us, or we'll end up calling you \"Dick\"...[/b]

Some of us already do. But not openly.

And I thought you had Linux, Kaniaz?[/b]

As much as I hate promoting a corporate monster, Windows currently has the best support for expensive software such as Palm Pilots. And I had a Windows CD on me. (Activation is stupid. I've used it 12 times on 5 different computers and it hasn't figured it out yet).

**Demerzel** · 06-20-2004 02:26 PM

Originally posted by Kaniaz
Switchboard: If...you...are...an...A....OL...broadband......... customer...please...press...two...
*beep* (press two)

I also thought you had a kick ass 56k connection (which made me wonder about the BT Voyager)

**Kaniaz** · 06-20-2004 09:25 PM

I do. Oddly enough, I was ringing up because I was attempting to get my BT Voyager 100 working.

**Demerzel** · 06-20-2004 09:27 PM

So why then did you press 2 for being a broadband customer?

**Truthbearer** · 06-21-2004 09:48 PM

My guess would be: In England 56k is considered broadband?

Or maybe he has been lying to us all along....

**nerve** · 06-21-2004 10:50 PM

Originally posted by baconmastermind
I think the moral of this story is that AOL sucks... a lot.

**Demerzel** · 06-22-2004 06:57 PM

Or maybe he is using a 56k connection because the BT Voyager (ADSL MODEM) can't connect him to broadband, and he is phoning AOL to see if they can fix it. And Truthbearer, he must have been lying when he said he didn't use Windows at all, because he just mentioned it there.

**Demerzel** · 06-26-2004 09:41 PM

(bump)

Hey, It's senseless banter, I can do that

**Kaniaz** · 06-27-2004 02:13 PM

The explanation for why I'm on broadband, what the 56k is doing, why I'm using Windows and all the other stuff you've asked is about 10 pages worth of explaning, and wouldn't be of intrest to anybody, so I won't waste my time with it.

**Seeker** · 06-27-2004 03:32 PM

Sad thing is, AOL has been after me forever to upgrade my compuserve account.

Hmm $19.99 for the sucky Compuserve account I have right now
or
$23.95 for exactly the same thing, but with AOL at the top instead of Compuserve =P

Think I'll hold out for DirectWay as soon as I win the lottery!

**Demerzel** · 06-27-2004 04:23 PM

Originally posted by Kaniaz
The explanation for why I'm on broadband, what the 56k is doing, why I'm using Windows and all the other stuff you've asked is about 10 pages worth of explaning, and wouldn't be of intrest to anybody, so I won't waste my time with it.

10 pages? Put simply, it actually said "If you used broadband before, but can't now".

**Evanescent** · 06-27-2004 07:10 PM

Hey seeker a guy at my dad's work has DirecWay and he is very unhappy with it. I got 56k and where i live i can only get direcway. But it costs like 50 for the first 12 months then like 99 each there after. If COX cable doesn't bring their service out soon we might go with direcway because none of the other dsl providers reach my house.