Thread: Finally, I have malacs 100% technique

That is getting very old.
Probably to the point that people posting such topics might start getting banned. >.>

Moved to Senseless Banter, which is the only place suitable for it besides the wastebasket.

That is getting very old.
Probably to the point that people posting such topics might start getting banned. >.>

Hey it's a classic

Pj, you could have waited an hour. Nobody has a sense of humour in senseless banter.

Now THAT'S funny.

You're starting to redeem yourself!

I thought we were deleting all topics containing the words "malac technique"??

It's still not too late.

I don't mean to cause problems, but what is the "malacs technique"? I feel left out.

kind of an internal joke. It's like a failproof technique that never comes out or something.

and bah I have sense of humour in the senseless banter... but I'm just a weirdo you see

Yeah, I want to know too.

Malac, what an adventure that was, .

Will somebody please fill me in here.

Originally Posted by Half/Dreaming

Will somebody please fill me in here.

No. It's not worth the trouble, trust me. Try searching the dreaming forums if you're curious.

Originally Posted by Burns

No. It's not worth the trouble, trust me. Try searching the dreaming forums if you're curious.

Alright.

*feels disappointed that the technique is non existent*

I was getting my hopes up

Some guy called malc came, said he was going to post a 100% technoque, kept stalling with stories. He was met with some healthy skeptcism and said he was only going to pm his technique to those who were nice to him and licked his furry arse. Some did. The technique never came, Malac disappeared.
His thread grew to a ridiculous size, not to mention the numerous threads made about him.
;(

Thanks imran p. That guy sounds like a no-good, poopy-pants, self-obsessed, turd-faced butt monkey.

Hey imram, I have a quick question. Is arse just a different spelling/pronunciation say ass, or is it something completely different?

Originally Posted by Half/Dreaming

Thanks imran p. That guy sounds like a no-good, poopy-pants, self-obsessed, turd-faced butt monkey.

Hey imram, I have a quick question. Is arse just a different spelling/pronunciation say ass, or is it something completely different?

I think its so you can get past strict word-filters

if i remember wendy was the one who posted the last two "i have malac's technquie!!1!1!one!" topics... i dont think anyone found it funny those times either.

Originally Posted by freefire

if i remember wendy was the one who posted the last two "i have malac's technquie!!1!1!one!" topics... i dont think anyone found it funny those times either.

yeah I think I remember the other one. they're not funny and shouldn't even be in senseless.

Originally Posted by webmaster

Originally Posted by Half/Dreaming

Originally Posted by imran_p

and said he was only going to pm his technique to those who were nice to him and licked his furry arse. Some did. The technique never came, Malac disappeared.

Hey imram, I have a quick question. Is arse just a different spelling/pronunciation say ass, or is it something completely different?

I think its so you can get past strict word-filters

Oh. My. God....

Malac rules, you are all just jealous that he didn't PM you his technique.

Malac's 100% Lucidity Technique is simply:

Spend all day wondering and guessing what the technique is, to create subliminal and subconscious messages that will later trigger lucidity during sleep.

It isn't a very good technique, if that's what it is.

Ok, I decided to end your misery so I'll post Malac's 95% technique:
Like malac often said, each step is of absolute importance, and if you skip steps or change them in any way then it will not work.
First you make a mixture of a few natural substances by grinding them together in a food processor.
The mixture contains:
550 grams of Cyanea kuhihewa, mature, dried, leaves.
45 grams of Wollemia nobilis ( mature ) root
40 grams of young Encephalartos woodii bark kernel ( the inner part of the bark, not the crust )
70 mg of painite crushed to fine powder
200 mg of serendibite crushed to fine powder
35 grams of dried frass from Dryococelus australis.
Add also 400 grams of distilled water
Mix them in the food processor for 10 minutes.
Put the result in an oven pre-hitted to 40 degrees Celsius, for 10 minutes.
Take it out, leave it to dry, but not in direct sunlight.
Put the remaining mixture in a clay container.
Bury it in humid soil.
After 3 years take it out. break the clay container, sculpt the mixture into a shape that you relate to according to your background, religion, or culture. It's best if the shape symbolizes dreams.
wrap it in any fine cloth ( But not in silk ).
Bury it again, this time under your house. With the "head" of the shape directed north or south.
You should now have lucid dreams almost every night.