I only want to help those in need so I offer my services to assist Russia's efforts in countering their falling birth rate. You may keep the prizes; I do this out of sheer selflessness and ask nothing in return. In a way, I'm a Humanitarian, a giver of sorts.

Family Contact Day

Oh-la-la

Any Russian women who might be lonely today are welcome to contact me for a one-on-one consultation, followed by dinner and a movie. Please don't be shy or afraid to speak up. The future of your country is at stake.

Again, I do this because I care