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I don't think this has been done before, but if it has, who cares, we'll build on this one :) A lightbulb seriously just went off in my head a minute ago, and I thought "this is a perfect idea for a thread!"
Obviously, I go first, so let's go!! ^_^
"Folgers in his cup is NOT Chuck Norris' best part of waking up"
The only physical evidence for Chuck Norris is his fist in your face,
Chuck Norris jokes haven't been funny for 3 years.
As soon as Carson Daly used them on his show they were declared officially dead.
By the time Mike Hucakbee used them in political ads, their corpse was exhumed for a criminal investigation to prove they were dead.
You don't understand, Chuck norris himself approves of jokes about him, and Chuck Norris has the final say on everything.
fixed.Quote:
Originally Posted by Elis D.
lol!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by poog
Lol!!!!
People shouldn't accept blood donations from Chuck Norris, because his blood cells will roundhouse kick the crap out of the receiver's original cells, leading to a slow painful death. Still, nobody ever has the guts to say 'no' to him.
Heehee.
Chuck Norris is so amazing, he can have a beard.
Chuck Norris is so awesome, that Chuck Norris facts were cool again before they went out of fashion.
If Chuck Norris fought a completely intangible ghost, he could still roundhouse kick it to death.
Chuck Norris likes his fights the same way he likes his chili: Enough kick to destroy a pepper field.
If Chuck Norris fought Chuck Norris, he'd win. Both sides of the fight.
God didn't rest on the seventh day, Chuck Norris just kicked the fuck out of him untill he was knocked unconcious.
God made the world in 6 days; Chuck Norris remade it in 1.
Moses stole credit for Chuck Norris kicking the Red Sea in half.
Did you hear the news? Dark Energy is actually excess Awesome from Chuck Norris that one universe can't handle.
I knew a bunch of you guys out there had these cooking in ya!
Keep going!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scatterbrain
These two did it for me :rolllaugh::rolllaugh::rolllaugh::rolllaugh:Quote:
Originally Posted by JET73L
~Bump~ but not without another couple CN facts :)
Chuck Norris once stole the Flash's powers, but it made no difference in his performance, because he is already omnipresent.
God did not cause the Red Sea to split for Moses, Chuck Norris was underground playing a poker game and lost. Actually, that was a lie, Chuck Norris never loses at poker.
The second one sucked.
Chuck Norris's finest hour was getting his ass handed to him by Bruce Lee. :putemuppunk:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v6...vs-Chuck-1.gif
Lol,
CHUCk GOT PWNED
Chuck Norris is so Chuck Norris that whenever he Chuck Norris's he will inevitably Chuck Norris.
Darn... Beat me to it, I was gonna make a comment about that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Oneironaut
Three things in this world don't exist: a free lunch, the easter bunny, and a fight not won by Chuck Norris. (except Bruce Lee vs Chuck Norris, that was freaking awesome)
Chuck Norris always rings the door bell, if his knuckles make contact with doors, the door flies off its hinges.
Chuck Norris can steal the wallet from a ninja... after said ninja swallowed it for safe keeping.
Nice!
When Chuck Norris gets the sun in his eyes, he doesn't put on sunglasses, He just scares the sun away.
haha, niceQuote:
Originally Posted by Delphinus
no, it didn't. now shut up, foo, and contribute, lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by xXSomeGuyXx
Chuck Norris's piss is currently being auctioned as the most efficient gas for commercial airliners.
I liked these ones.
Chuck Norris has a lot of respect for Bruce Lee...because he survived.
Chuck Norris doesn't "keep it real." Reality keeps itself Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris runs with scissors because only he can.
You know the story of "Around the World in 80 days"? Chuck Norris went around the world 80 times in one day. Barefoot.
A tribe of forest elves lives in Chuck Norris' beard. They don't make cookies. Only wuss elves make cookies. These elves make plutonium.
God said let there be light Chuck Norris said say please!
Chuck norris boils water with sheer rage.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris once counted to ifinity. Twice.
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
"Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
>_> Oh Chuck Norris what a man.
chuck norris is so norris he killed the dancing banana and then allowed it to come back...:banana:
haha, cuteQuote:
Originally Posted by aorozco
i know...
lol
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
when chuck norris falls in water he doesn't get wet, water gets chuck norriss... lol
OMG, Brandon Heat, where'd you find this one?? This one stood out above all the others, it's got that *shock* humor.Quote:
When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
I couldn't stop ROFLing. :laugh:
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
ok, now you guys are just regurgitating stuff you found on the web. I know, I've read them all, lol. people, please!!
all right, you know what, fine.
this thread is now titled "Make your own or post your favorite Chuck Norris facts!"
Here~is an original one, foos - Chuck Norris took on the McDonald's "Super Size Me" diet. Not only did he lose weight as a result, but developed immunity to AIDS.
His blood is currently being examined to engineer a vaccine.
fine!!!
you tried to party with chuck norris but chuck norris doesn't party. the party chuck norris's..
that was lame...:P
it was better than ur last one, ana :PQuote:
Originally Posted by aorozco
ur face!!!lol
chuck norris doesn't talk smack he roundhouse kicks it in the jaw...
better! at least you got a hang of the whole roundhouse kick thing, that one's pretty popularQuote:
Originally Posted by aorozco
lol. i know... lol
Chuck Norris don't dance, 'cause when he kicks, someone's going down.
They wanted to put Chuck Norris in SNK vs. Everyone, but he would win even the 1-vs-everyone-else matches in the beta test.
The first extra-atmospheric lauch was achieved when Chuck Norris kicked a football.
Chuck Norris once peed in a cup the urine had a heavenly glow hence the nickname "Jesus Juice."
it is illegal in 26 states for chuck noriss to donate sperm on the basis that the sperm would over run the egg and little chuck noriss's would spread across the globe like wild fire...
A giant meteor didn't kill off the dinosaurs... Chuck Norris did.
chuck norris is so smooth, he raped delphinus, and delphinus only now realised it...
Damn it aorozco!!!
Most countries take on Capitolism, Socialism, or Communism... But the whole world belongs to ChuckNorrism.
lmao. wow, i really am just gonna get you bad... lolQuote:
Originally Posted by Delphinus
uuummm.... chuck norris once shot a shadow and it died... (gay)
who killed JFK? chuck norris knows but he's not telling.... hehe
Chuck Norris is so almighty, that he raped aorozco... From a thousand miles away.
win is made of chuck norris.
lol
Interplanetary travel is possible... Chuck Norris can jump from earth to the edge of the universe, and back.
lmaoQuote:
Originally Posted by Delphinus
oh crap... did he use protection? lol
Doesn't matter, Chucks "seed" accidentally round-house kicks all eggs.
Chuck Norris can't take a bus... If anyone bumps him, they get thrown out of the bus...
and now to revive this baby *cracks knuckles*
which came first thee chicken or the egg? it doesn't matter, chuck norris rounhouse kicked both of them in the face!
FACT
Bruce Lee > Check Norris
"Broke Back Mountain" isn't a movie; it's the name of the pile of ninjas that Chuck Norris leaves in his wake.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
Chuck Norris super admin edited this for the lulzQuote:
Originally Posted by Invader Tech
But yes. I agree with your original sentiment.
Bruce Lee > Chuck Norris