1) When I'm bored and don't want to listen to you talk anymore, I'll light a smoke
2) When I'm nervous and conscious that I have been staring at your breasts for the last 30 mins, I'll light a smoke
3) Basically anytime when there`s nothing to do and you would end up looking silly sitting there doing nothing, you can light a smoke and BAM ... 5 mins of purpose.
4) If you smoke and squint at the same time, it creates a very menacing effect.. causing you to look tough (even if you aren't)
5) When that hot girl/guy standing outside the club asks you for a light or a smoke.. you can play the hero and help him/her out (this usually leads to a night of sweaty romance)
6) Cigarettes and Beer = pure fucking bliss
7) If you don't smoke, how can you enjoy a smoke after sex.
8) Who wants to be old anyways, right?
9) Dying young creates legends. Referring back to 10.. old people are scary.
10) Who wouldn't want one of those crazy ass machines you stick to your throat that make you talk like a robot. Robots are fucking sweet.
11) Without smokes, private investigators would never have been able to sustain that blue cloud of mystery around their profession. PI`s are almost as cool as robots.
12) Cigarette packs come with cool pictures on them now, like rotting teeth and black lungs. That shit is educational.. therefore it follows that cigarettes are educational.
13) Ever been so pissed off you wanted to rip someones head off and piss down there neck. Hey relax man, have a cigarette.
14)Smoking temporarily restores alertness when experiencing symptoms of drowsiness and fatigue.
15)Smoking is beneficial because it leaves you with little disposable income to spend on drugs. Cigarettes are better than crack.
16)Smoking finances the government with tax REVENUE.
Actually, I almost want to quit thinking of giving the government more money... Then I thought of the poor tobacco farmers who have little tobacco farmer babies with mouths to feed. God bless smoking.
18)If you already smoked and you quit, that makes you a quitter. Didn't your mom teach you not to be a quitter?
19)In-depth scientific research has proven that smokers become at least 23% more attractive to their desired sex while smoking cigarettes. Hence the term "Smoking Hot".
20)Smoking, despite its many cancer causing substances, can temporarily raise your metabolism! Don't believe me? How many fat smokers do you know?
21)Smoking INCREASES your heart rate, thus eliminating any need for "warm-up" before a sporting event. Besides, whose gonna mess with the bad-ass motherfucker smoking before doing something athletic?