^^^ Cool "similar threads" tool!

Anyways.....

I haven't been on in a while. You see, whenever I decide to grasp the key of lucid dreaming, a door in my mind suddenly opens. When I open it and consume myself in it, it's like all the other doors that should be open, suddenly begin to creak and sway shut. I see things differently, everything is so small and insignificant yet at the same time everything is so grand and amazing. Focus, is a thing that is lost. When I speak of focus in this sense I mean on life goals; a successful career, owning a home, marriage, kids, the works... But when this focus is turned on things that are much bigger and baffling, then what really matters is suddenly hit in the ass by the door on the way out.

So I left, focused, got the good job, money in savings, got on the "right path". Yet, I'm restless and have and always will want to fly away. It's like if I choose one door, I can never go back to the other - Security is important, especially in economic turmoil, but, isn't happiness and a fulfilling life also important?

I don't really know what I'm getting at, hence the senseless banter placement, but I'm basically ready to move on already. Is it boredom? A calling from some unexplainable force? Or do I need to simply pick up the key, open the door and never look back?

I'm not really asking, I'm just bantering about the senselessness and the wonder of life, and if 6 s's in senselessness is really necessary.