Hi Folks!

I just have to spill my lungs on a topic that has been occupying my mind for quite some time. First off, as this is my first thread here on DW I want to greet you all and thank those on the chat who welcomed me in an unusually warm manner. As opposed to many other forums where the attitude tends to lean towards...well, not that warm. So again Hello and thanks!

I also want to do a little disclaimer. English is not my native language so some oversight with grammar and spelling will most likely be in its place. On my part, I will try to do my best out of respect to your beautiful language. The climate on the internet has been a great deterrent for me and has kept me from doing anything else but research so far, on the other hand, I'm glad that is now about to change. With that said, on to the topic and the sharing of my thoughts.

Two years ago, I lived closed off in a cabin upon a hill for a complete year. Off course I worked but other than that I spent all my time in and around my cabin. I was completely disconnected, not totally off the grid but I lived without internet, TV and phone. I borrowed my neighbors’ communication devices when needed. The first couple of months where kind of agonizing and painful. Almost like withdrawal from some drug abuse. I had an unexplainable 'background' noise, something stressful about my existence. My thoughts would automatically wander off and was constantly occupied with tasks. As the months progressed the stress gradually declined and occasionally I found myself deeply caught up in things I was doing, at that time playing guitar and writing. I started to stop caring about what was going on in the world as I hadn’t watched or read the news for a while.

Every night at sundown I sat on my porch with a cup of tea tracing the suns last path over the crescent mountaintops. In retrospect I know what that did to me, but back then, I mostly thought about how wrong my behavior was. Down there, the city spread out its vastness of different sized cubes. I knew that LIFE was down there. People living their lives together and with tons of things to constantly occupy themselves with. I was 22 years old then and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t supposed to live like that at that young age. I was supposed to be down there, pursuing. Not retiring like a senior, reminiscing his life with a half-smile of content like I was. I went inside when the darkness once again prevailed; lit candles and read until bedtime.

The days went on like that, and they became weeks and months until I didn't thought off it anymore. I lost myself in the nature when spring came, I laid down outside for hours watching the sky, no-one called and no-one visited and I became completely relaxed. I talked with the trees and plants, examining them in close detail, built sculptures out of stone and wood, along with other activities. At night, it was pitch black and overwhelmingly silent. It was around June when things started to happen.

As I was lying down to sleep one night, a loud voice called my name and I rapidly sat up in my bed terrified, replying 'yes?' but the silence only fell deeper. Now I know it was hypnagogic, but this was new to me then. After that event I started to have more and more of these experiences and all I could do were to learn to live with them and accept them whatever they might be. Remember, no internet, no phone, and no visits. I started to have vivid dreams and weird bodily experiences at night which scared me at first but I just had to live with them as they became more and more frequent.

One night, I woke up paralyzed with a tremendous loud sound in my head, like wrapping yourself in tin-foil while standing on top off an old train going, ba-dom-ba-dom. The noise accelerated and I started to discern voices 'in-between' the 'ba-doms'. I got scared, tried to scream inside myself at the voices to stop and leave me alone but the noise just continued to pitch and crank up. The noise was so loud and intense at one point that I couldn’t bear with it anymore and thought I was going to die. I accepted it, let go and in that moment I was sucked in towards myself with a huge gravitational force and everything became black. It was a void, empty space, but a light started to appear in the 'corner' of the void. I focused on it and it felt warm and friendly (don't step into the light is easier said than done ).

I started to loosen up and begun to think positive thoughts. A house appeared around me, crystal clear. It was a beautiful country house with rugged-mats and well attended flowers inside. I started to explore, thinking I died and went somewhere else I figured to take a look. I was thinking about my family and friends but didn’t feel sorry, just overwhelming love. The house was wonderful, and so was the view, I started to think that this was my new home in this other world. I spent quite some time looking at the plants and flowers, many of them extremely foreign, with spiral-leaves and golden/purple flowers.

Time really went on, I didn’t sleep and I didn’t eat. I just examined everything with great interest for what seemed like days. The light got dimmer at some points and then gradually regained its luminescence, so this was my interpretation of days. The artifacts in ‘my’ house were so fascinating and varied. I found a turquoise diamond-shaped bass/guitar on a pedestal, which fascinated me with its originality. I strummed the 12 strings and a perfect harmony of sounds appeared from every direction. In that instance I felt the presence of someone and I turned around.

Facing me was a young woman with literally smiling eyes. Instantly I felt companionship and became warm and thrilled. I couldn’t say anything, I didn’t want to say anything, finally another 'human being' spoke my eyes language. She stepped towards me while raising her right arm and laid her palm on my forehead. With nothing more than a Nano-second’s delay I flashed through tunnels of light and shapes, speeding backwards or upwards or downwards. Accelerating to the point of almost weightlessness and then like a snap with two fingers I opened my eyes in my bed.

This is getting really long now, and I tend to do this when I’m writing. This felt really convenient to start off my stay here with. I’m a mystical person but also very scientific. I wanted to talk about how the absence of television and other inputs set my mind on naturally lucidity, perhaps, we can continue to discuss that here or just pick up on something else from my text.

I hope this wall of text evoked some interest

~ Peace ~