insomnia all over me

[wideawaken]

I never knew there was a place like this, don't know if this is the right place to post, anyway - I can't sleep. I can hardly get any sleep without turning all over my bed for 2-3 hours. I think I have some states of insomnia, no clue why, even when I feel very tired in the night I can't sleep, i havent slept in millions of years. Most of the sleepless nights are all the same - I feel excited with strong thinking activity and with no sign of blurred vision and closing eyes. Sometimes I smoke marijuana to relax my mind and low my muscle activity but something leaves me no rest again. And this is not from week or two, its like 2 years and shit. I havent tried with any pills and i dont want to, i want a natural sleep. I have experienced everyhing known to the theaory of dreaming or whatever you call it - lucid dreaming, false awakening, epic dreams, dream in dream, controling a dream and creating own enviroment and I remember all my dreams with no exception and I took inspiration from my dreams to write and draw. I think this is the most terrible disease a mind can get - unable to sleep and dream. i am never full asleep and i am never full awake. Like walking in reality and dreaming. I am also forgetting if an event has truly occured in real life or in dreaming state. i'm i in hell?