How come I can be VERY tired, but just not be able to get to sleep? I went to bed last night at 9:30 (I did try to WILD for the hell of it but gave up soon enough) and couldn't get to sleep until 3:30! The whole time I was really tired but I was also anxious because I couldn't sleep. There wasn't nesacerrily a lot of thoughts buzzing around in my head either, so I just felt empty and tortured by my very conscious state. To releive myself of boredom I stayed in bed and listened all three Linkin Park albums (the three that are actually any good) through headphones. About an hour after that I got to sleep.
That is the very worst case of insomnia I have had yet, but it often takes me 2-3 hours to get to sleep, whether I'm tired or not it makes no difference. The hours I spend in bed I could be up doing homework, but before I know it there's like four potential hours just gone out of the window. The time of day I have the most WILL power to do things is also after 9:00, which is just fucked up. I'll be tired and fed up all the time until bed. There is also little change in routine, I've had the same school routine for years and years but I just don't adapt to it, I'm so retarded! The worst part is when i go to bed at night I worry because I can never be sure if I'll be able to sleep of not.
I don't know what's causing it either, if I only knew. I think as human beings we have a right to lose consciousness whenever we want! Why can't I do that? I want to sleep so badly and I just can't... I've posted this because it's been getting worse recently. For about a year or so my sleeping problems stopped but they've come back again, is there any reason for this?
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