Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

I upgrade my space ship to a faster one, but one with a smaller cargo bay. I can always just pack it tighter and fit just as much. The speed will help me get my job done quicker. I only make $900,000 a year right now. I have the day off, so I go visit some friends.

Hanging out in a bedroom, the other guy leaves to go talk to the girl's parents about something. Before he does, he leaves two of his guns behind, forgetting the third in his belt. I hear their kid get really excited about the gun - exactly what he was trying to avoid. Then they go further from the door and I can't hear anything.

Now I'm the girl, alone in the room. I decide to just get some rest. But feel more comfortable with the gun under my pillow, cocked back and dangerously ready to shoot. I get spooked a few times, and aim the gun at the door, but it's nothing. Laying my head back down, I hear someone at the door. They kick the door in really fast to surprise me. But the only reaction they get is a bullet to the face. It was my neighbor who had been stalking me for a long time. He had finally built up the courage to try and rape me now. Scary...

My friend comes back into the room, really surprised that I had killed someone, because he only left plastic toy guns behind. Looking at the gun I used, it was indeed a toy gun. He tells me to follow him downstairs. We leave my room, go down the the main floor, and see my neighbor, with a definite scar where I had shot him in the head. Especially a big scar in the back of his head. He is acting quite stupid, and seems to be our servant now, taking laundry to the laundry room.

We go to the bottom floor, and into another room where my friend plays a video that our neighbor filmed, sitting him in front of it as well to narrate it for us.

In this video, he is in a small off-road go cart, with three of his friends, driving toward a massive building with huge double wooden doors. His mom is sitting in a chair watching them approach from outside, next to the building. They swerve and crash through the doors. Driving way too fast to safely navigate anything, they careen through the building, smash out through another set of doors, and go down the sidewalk as people and bicyclists dive out of their way. Skidding sideways just in time to stop before getting hit by traffic in the road, they turn around to come back the way they came.

This time, they hit a bicyclist, who crashes trying to get out of their way. I assume the cyclist got out of the way in time. I don't see the cyclist in the video, but the mangled bike flies in front of the camera. Our neighbor comments to us, "Don't you see how covered in blood the bicycle is?" Looking at the footage, I actually see no blood at all.

Apparently, this video is to explain to me and my neighbor (who doesn't seem to get it) that only what we believe appears to us. And that since we both believed I had a real gun, we both think I killed him, but since my friend knows its a fake gun, he's still alive.

Spoiler for Random Intro:

Wandering through gated back yards, jumping over fences, and looking for a bathroom, I find a downstairs apartment with the door wide open. I go inside, and shake the snow off my jacket before going any further and dripping it on the floor. But I shook it right into someone's shoes... That doesn't look so nice, so I leave, abandoning my search for the bathroom. There are an assortment of little beings that are all around me now, and no longer any snow on the ground. A few small children, two cats, and a goat are all in a circle on some green grass. They all appear to be trapped, and in danger if they stay inside this backyard maze of fences. I carry all of them over a fence except one cat. This cat is huge! I try to coax it to walk over on its own, but it is also a lazy cat. So, I pick it up, weighing well over 100 lbs, and carry it over the fence. There is another small animal, maybe a sheep, that also wants to escape. I lift the fence in the air slightly, and crawl underneath, motioning for the sheep to follow. It does, and pushes me out of the way, crawling through swiftly.

On the other side of the fence, I am face to face with a giant bat. At least I think it's a bat. Looking right at me, drooling profusely, a nasty looking orange drool. It has small flexible fangs. It also has a very powerful venom. Not very good. Biting onto my arm, I feel that none of the fangs pierces my flesh, but I don't want to take any chances, so I wrestle it away, pushing its porcelain smooth beak away. Now holding it back by the beak, we stare at each other, both still pushing at the other. The beak is so smooth, I actually rather enjoy touching it. Kind of cold to the touch as well, and very colorful with swirls of reds, browns, and oranges all throughout the beak.



The animal's owner comes by, and pulls him back by the shoulders. She tells me, "He's just hungry, sorry about that" Being sort of like a bat, I assume he eats bugs, so I tell them to hang on for a bit, while I find some food for him inside my house. There are no bugs... I go downstairs and ask my room mate if he has any bugs.

"Of course I do buddy, here ya go." and he hands me a plastic bin. 'Great! Now I can feed this thing.' I dash upstairs, but looking inside the bin I just see a loaded gun, some batteries, loose change, a few lint balls, and random other odds and ends. I take all the bullets out of the gun and toss them separately into the bin, then ditch the gun as well. 'There's gotta be bugs around here somewhere'

I go outside, and find a large group of rather juicy looking bugs on the window sill. They all look dead, but still meaty. I pick one up by the wings, a large green bug, and it starts to wiggle around a bit. 'Not quite dead yet!' so I put it back down on the window's edge. The rest of the bugs all have rigor mortis, so I know they are dead. I pile them all into my left hand and go back over to the bat creature. Somewhat human, but definitely more animal than person. I hold out my hand and he ravenously slurps them into his beak and chews them for a bit before swallowing them, followed by more drool around the edges of his beak. Quite gross.

Seeing where I got the bugs from, he walks over and looks for more. Seeing the one I left behind because it was still alive, he goes in to eat it. I pray that the bug either is spared death, or dies well, whatever is meant to be... To my surprise, the previously lifeless but twitching bug now flies off, just out of reach of the bat creature, then shoots rapidly into the sky at what I assume is maximum bug speed.

I help the bat-man (more bat than man) find more dead bugs to eat. Mostly dead moths that are stuck to loose boards on the side of the house, or in abandoned spider webs. The creature eats more of the wood than the bugs, just chewing on it, as he holds it like an ear of corn.

Walking back to the front yard, his friend/caretaker person tells him it costs too much to feed him and he has to make some money himself if this is going to work. Bat-guy sits down on a bench looking rather dejected, as he stares down at his feet with his hands in his lap. I go up to him, pat him on the back and encourage him, "You'll be able to do something to make money, don't worry."

He looks up to me as if saying, "Like what?" but with just his eyes.

I answer, "You could always give massages to people" and we both start laughing. I see a smile return to his beak and hope in his eyes. "I didn't know you could understand me" I say, amidst more laughter, just thinking about this bat-guy giving people massages... He nods understandingly.