Recent DJ Posts

10pm (I went to bed early feeling tired and feverish so already had recall)

My husband called me to a conference call at his office to try to work out a problem he thought I had with one of his coworkers. The coworker started defending himself saying he had no clue I had a problem with him. I replied that this because I have no problem with him whatsoever, and my husband misunderstood. As I was leaving the conference room, I said that of course part of the reason why I have no problem with him has to do with the fact that I do not actually know him at all, and he agreed.

Still in my husband's office, in the office kitchen: I first randomly give a female stranger a backrub from behind. Then it's as if I forgot that this female stranger is there, and I start thoroughly massaging my husband. He is fully clothed but on the floor in a way and I give him a full back massage while squatted on top of him.

Only then do I remember the female stranger coworker, and that we were blocking her way out of the kitchen and forcing her to watch. I appologize to her. She says, no problem, and that she wishes she had watched me chew out Alexandro. I figure Alexandro must have been the male coworker in the coffer emcee room who I had no problem with. It occurs to me that he did not look like an Alexandro, looked very WASP. I explain to the coworker that there was no chewing out involved.

Fragment: I was in a waiting room of a doctor's office explaining why I was there. I do not recall why. I had the sense though in the dream that I had been waiting for a long time and had given the same explanation many times before. Later in same dream I was trying to help the doctor not to be lost: I was telling him that the reason he could not find an office number was because the address was from before his practice moved to another building, but he would not listen to me, and just kept going and looking.

Very lazy to write down full dream so here is main things.

-I had a game simulation of COD.
-BF3 simulation nearly got sniped here.
-In the sewer on a boat.
-Met a guy that looked like a hippy and he told me that he likes to take acid and base together.

hhhhh. I wanted to fall back asleep and pick the dream up where I left off but I think the TV downstairs is too loud ...

Fragment 1
Somethin' about an evil villain type guy who operates mainly in this underground sewer-ish place. Tunnels, dark with red lighting, and with walkways of metal grating. There was something about how he wanted to lure a good guy or a hero of some sort there, in order to harness his ... heroic attributes.

Fragment 2
Dad's chewing noisily and I'm trying to tell him that this time, THIS time, I'm not going to just handle it (I have misophonia IWL). I'm so beside myself that I doubt he can tell what I'm saying, but it's something along the lines of "It's been four times already and I'm not going to keep handling it." I think at some point he takes me aside and explains that I am going to keep handling it. Oh well xP

Dream 1
Yayyyy an actual vivid memorable dreaaammm...
It's nighttime and there's a bridge that goes across an enormous frozen body of water to an island of some kind. There's a rather treacherous path at the very edge of the island and at the base of the cliffs, that goes all the way around the island, and tourists are told that the farther they make it around the path, the more bonus attributes they'll get. I'm not sure what these attributes were supposed to be but it kinda reminded me of an RPG or something. Except I think they were positive morality-based attributes, not power-based.

Anyway I wasn't a tourist but I decided to go around the path anyway. My sister was with me, walking along a bridge that also went around the whole island, so we were sort of side-by-side. The path itself was kind of hard to describe. Basically, at the base of the cliffs there was some white-painted wood cut in nice ribbed sort of shapes, at foot level and hand level. I forget what it's called, argh. At some points the wood formed nice flat shelves I could easily step (or leap) on, but other times I had to cling to whatever I could at hand level because my feet hardly had anything under them. If I slipped my sneakers would end up in icy cold water, so that's something I wanted to avoid, but somewhat counter-intuitively the middle of the lake was more frozen than the edges, so it was really only a danger right next to the woodwork.

My method of traversing this path was sort of daring. I wasn't proceeding at a particularly slow pace; more leaping from one foothold to another and clinging to the handholds as necessary. I think Jess and I were chatting as I went and the maneuvering was more background work. I wasn't at all worried about slipping; I think on some level I knew confidence would be enough to keep me from slipping. Low-level lucidity? 8) Maybe I'm getting there~

One interesting occurrence was when I saw a fish frozen in the ice a short distance off-shore. My first impression was that it was an "angry fish" (carnivore), and then I walked over on the ice to investigate, a little nervous as I felt it cracking under my feet. At this point I was a little fascinated by how great the ice looked; really, how great everything looked.

Upon closer inspection, the angry fish was actually only partially trapped, and it had its face pressed up against a hole in the ice. Then I had a good idea, and walked over to where I'd (earlier?) spotted a dead normal fish (non-carnivorous), also trapped in the ice. My impression was that it had been in the ice for some time, but that it would make a good meal for the trapped fish anyway. It was also about the same size as the other fish. I grabbed it at the base of the tail and pulled it out of the ice somehow, and then walked back to the carnivore fish, which I could sort of now tell was a seal, and I said as much to Jess when she called from the bridge asking what the thing was. It had its muzzle poking out the hole in the ice again and was eagerly opening and closing its mouth, and as I dipped the dead fish's face by the seal's face, it suddenly grabbed it and yanked it out of my hand under the ice.

Then there was a last bit where the seal was drifting along (free of the ice) asleep with the fish, now trailing blood, in its mouth. Somehow the fish was parallel to the seal. Actually they may both have been trailing blood for some reason. Then there was some nature narrator saying something about how, unfortunately for the fish, fishes and seals experience unconsciousness differently, so the fish couldn't really escape even though the seal was asleep. And then shortly after that I woke up. Hm.

And then I spent probably half an hour or more trying to fall back asleep but no cigar. Maybe because I was worried about forgetting all this.

Past few nights I've had trouble recalling dreams, but last night I was able to recall one of them.

I was back at my very first home where I grew up as a child. I was looking out through the wide kitchen window to the back garden. As a child my mother made it a large allotment of prize winning gooseberry bushes, blackcurrant bushes, raspberry canes, rhubarb, and she had a greenhouse where she doctored young plants she found selling cheap that were half dead and then grew them into amazing blooms. But now as I looked out there was little left of the back garden I once remembered. The privet bushes had been cut down half their height, a low wall was added by the concrete paving stones below the window with steps leading up towards a more higher lawn and cracked paving stones going around it. At the other side a shed was built right by where the rhubarb plants were, which were still there but massively overgrown. There was also bits of hawthorn and fuschia bushes that were badly in need of trimming in front of the shed. I looked with dismay at the empty lawn and said in a dejected voice "Oh mother..." I could feel her presence and her sadness of knowing all those years of working in the garden together picking berries to make into jams and wines, and I swear I heard her whisper to me "I know."

I woke up feeling this wasn't just a dream but that I was actually there with her in spirit. I'm considering looking the place up with google maps to see if it really looks like it did in my dream.

I went to a sangha and sat down to meditate. My Dad joined me but couldn't tolerate it very long, he quickly got up to wait in the car. After he left I continued sitting. I think there was another task where I was picking up objects and placing them, so I placed a little pink temple on a wooden chair along with a lot of other little bundles of sticks then set it on fire. Things burned easily enough, the test was if the entire temple and chair burned I knew I was ready to let go. It took a couple minutes but it did, indeed, burn. Then, after I was really starting to find some peace, my dad came back in and asked if I was ready to go yet.

My parents aren't helpful in real life, how could they help in the dream? No wonder I've never been able to meditate while living with them.

I slept like a rock last night and I didn't remember any dreams upon waking.

EDIT: Actually, no, I do remember one dream. Just a few minutes ago, in waking life, some Mormon missionaries came to my door. And I realized that I dreamed about the same thing this morning. Interesting coincidence, considering that it has been many months since missionaries tried to drop by.

This is copied from my journal:
I charge towards him and smash the thing he holds in his hands. Gunfight. Police arresterd by the army. Police trying to arrest somebody and being shot at by the guilty people.

That's it..

WBTB After Six Hours
Hmmmm. I remember ...

Fragment 1
Waiting in a church parking lot for something to happen, like for church to start. There was a lot more going on, but that's pretty much all I can really remember. I think I may have been moving along the ground which sort of signified how close I was getting to church starting. And there were cars and people going by and I was kinda waiting for mom. Huh.

Fragment 2
Some kind of Mega Man story... uh the most memorable part was that at the end, the promising scientist kid turned out to be on his way to becoming another Dr Wily, along with his asian scientist wifey. Like, that was a huge plot twist on top of everything earlier that had happened. Which I can't remember. So ha. I mean bleh. BLEH.
It feels like my recall is getting worse, not better... xD but maybe I'm just impatient!

Morning
uhhh my WBTB attempt was totally unfruitful. maybe because it's finally Spring Break and I just finished that end-of-the-8-week-class essay and my brain knows I can relax and recuperate somewhat. BUT IT IS WRONG. THIS IS NO TIME TO REST.

An Actual Dream Whaaaat
A kid from Paranatural who will remain unnamed is sitting in a classroom with about three others. My mom and I are sitting in chairs in the other room, and then I walk over to the doorway of the classroom. I remember this part a bit better because I was actually emotionally invested to some degree, which is SOMETHING. THAT IS SLIGHT IMPROVEMENT.

Anyway I was leaning against the doorway trying to be all casual and I was like "What's up, Dude'sName?" and he was kinda like, wondering what I wanted, and then I was like "Do you want to ... come talk?" like I was asking him out on a date or something. I was really trying to play it cool and it was super difficult... xD The girl sitting next to him was kinda laughing at me but whatever. HE DID COME TALK. With my mom and I. Which actually wasn't awkward because I view my mom as a cool buddy and not a ninja lurking in the shadows for her chance to embarrass me and ruin my entire life forever. I don't remember what we talked about though. I think I was just really satisfied that I'd managed to extract him from the classroom and get him over here with me. good times ;3

Fragment 3
uhhh this one had a slightly darker mood because I'm pretty sure ... well okay, first it was set in a filing room sort of thing that was pretty dark. And there was some kinda bad guy leader person, and he had this subordinate that he was trying to get to murder everyone in the filing room. I don't remember being too concerned by that though, so I guess it was more like a movie than a life-and-death struggle scenario.

Anyway there was MORE INTRIGUE GOING ON that I can't remember. just, y'know. Know that it was really cool and stuff. Just so interesting. SIGH.

If there were any other dreams they got swallowed up, even though I slept like 10 freaking hours. It was so annoying, I sort of imagined that morning would be when I would just be surfing in and out of dreams but it doesn't make a difference surfing in and out of dreams if your BRAIN DOESNT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. I seriously remember that when I woke up for my WBTB my brain was simultaneously going "I HAD NO DREAMS AT ALL" and still sort of having flashbacks to the dreams I'd just had. Make up your MIND.

I'm going to get back my consciousness, the consciousness that let me realize the difference between waking and sleeping. I'm going to figure out where it went and drag it back into the open spaces of my mind. It's probably behind a mental dishwasher somewhere. Frick.

One dream:

Jim and Andy ("According to Jim") are playing a round of beer pong. While Jim is drinking wine (actually Goon) from cups, Andy drinks beer from cans. Jim hasn't hit a single can yet, while Andy has only three left. Jim complains about Andy cheating, since some of his cans are closed and he can't put the ball inside.

One fragment:

An ex-colleague of mine wants to visit me and calls while she is on the way to my house. False Awakening: I'm in some kind of office and wonder why my ex-colleague hasn't arrived yet. I call her, she picks up and says in a sleepy voice: "Hello?" I immediately hang up and think that I just woke her and that she is not coming to my place, since it was just a dream before. She calls back but I don't pick up. I decide to send her a text later, explaining what happened.

had dreams about supply and demand

Sunday, March 9th, 2014

Few Frags

NON-DREAM | DREAM | LUCID | FA | HH

Driving Frag

I am driving. My brother is in the passenger seat. It is raining outside, and I can't see a thing out of my rearview mirror. It is blurry and shaking and I think I see a car on the lane I want to merge into, but I'm not sure. There's a truck in front of me and my car isn't slowing down, so I merge and luckily, there was no car on the other lane.

I realize we are in a coupe. I wonder if I should stop driving.

Village Frag

It is night time and we are in a rocky open area. We are in the middle of a village.

Something about someone criticizing one of the natives of the place we are in. Some boss lady is being mean and saying if you don't like something, move the building around.

Then I see a tall skyscraper that looks ancient and made of stone being rotated 180 degrees.

I walk around the area with a native person. I think we almost get lost.

First I'd like to say that I am a very light sleeper and have always had issues with falling and staying asleep. This is good and bad. It is good because it is easy for me to wake up after a dream. However, it is bad because it is difficult to fall back to sleep after I have jotted down a few notes. It is also very difficult to nap, unless I am exhausted. This creates an issue for me when I am recording my normal dreams. So, I'm going to take the pressure off myself and not worry so much about recording all of my normal dreams. I'm going to put most of my focus on questioning reality, doing regular reality checks, and using MILD before I fall asleep.

Also, I am going to focus on a goal for my next LD. In the past I have issue with getting side tracked by sex, which always wakes me up. So, if I have a well defined goal I hope not to be so easily side tracked.

Goal: To fly into space at supersonic speed; look at the Earth from orbit; to then fly to the moon and explore (and steal the American Flag).

3/10/14

Awake at 7:20 am

Brushed teeth, went to the bathroom, hugged husband goodbye.

A little afraid to fall back to sleep and have a FA. I remind myself I need the sleep and this is the way I can achieve my lucid dream.

I visualize my dream plan and pray to God I have a lucid dream and fly. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep.

8:05 am MILD

I had a dream that I had a FA, but was scared and "woke up" but really it was another FA.

I went out my living room door, reminding myself that I'm going to try to fly. Some sort of cart in the hallway. Then I go outside to a playground/baseball field. I attempt flying many times with little success, so I use the things around to push myself up. Then finally, I'm dog paddling and swimming high in the air! I land and remind myself I need to stabilize the dream. So I rub my hands together. Then flew over to a dream character. There were three male dream characters. This one in particular looked like a past high school classmate of mine with brown hair and kind of a jock. I remembered the task of the month and asked him, "What's my middle name?" He replied, "Windy," took my hands and flew with me in the sky. (I got the task of the month wrong! Ha. I'm supposed to ask what his middle name is!)

At one point I travel down the sidewalks. With each step I float a little down the sidewalk. There are skaters on the sidewalk, one a young girl. I wonder if people who fly in dreams have the same stigma as people who skate in waking life.

I go back to my apartment, remembering that I need to wake up. I struggle to. At one point, my grandma enters the dream. I tell her I need to wake up. I go back to my bed and reach for my dream journal to try to write my dream down, but it doesn't work, I just barely write scribbles. Somehow, I'm hoping that in waking life I'm also writing things down, it never occurs to me in my FA that what I do in the FA is not affecting the waking world. It's 1 pm in my dream, I need to get up. Then, I reach over for hand lotion on my side table (though, in real life, this hand lotion is out in the living room), squirt some on my fingers and rub it on my tongue to try to wake myself up. It works, I'm repulsed by the taste and wake up.

Dramatic and passionate music sung by a man throughout the dream. A lot of "ooh, ooh, ooh" vocals.

Finished writing my dream down at 8:18 am.

In the first dream I was with my family in some place which seemed like a warehouse. I was captured by these alien type things that looks like small sling cones with a whitish goo. Every time they caught me they would torture me with different methods. In one torture session they put one of the slimy things right by face when I was in a barrel.

In another dream I need to take a dump so I went to As room and sat at his desk. He was pretending to do homework but was actually playing a game of dota1. Afterwards I looked out the window and saw that my car was outside the gate and that the hood was open. I went outside and found that my brother was busy doing something there. It was raining softly. After talking a bit he moved my car which had a trailer with dustbins back inside and the dream ended.

In the third dream i was with my mom and we were at the shops or something. Something happened there that upset her. We went back to her car and as she tried to get in She fell or hurt herself. I picked her up and helped her back into the seat. We drove back to her flat where my old maid from years ago, made us food. We thanked her many times and ate in silence.

Note: the long dream about me protecting someone happened again tonight for the third time in a row but I'm still having trouble fully recalling it.

1. [Lucid]
//I'm laying on a bed, the girl that was in my previous dream was on her knees to my left, I thought to myself lets fly, but then realize that well theirs a girl in here right next to me so I said to her "hey, wanna have sex?" she seemed ok with this//...I wake up.

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Fragments:
1. Me tap dancing like a pro in a dance studio, all the other people where dancing to other stuff.
2. A girl that is so beautiful that when you look at other girls they look disgusting.
3. In an elevator when this guy places a wind up device onto the wall, he then winds the device which in turn makes the elevator go up or down.
4. Watching this video that is meant to be a nightmare, it shows the girl I love falling in love with someone else, this didn't feel good at all.
5. Playing around with the panel on my PC tower then randomly a bald black guy sits up from under a white blanket and grabs my leg.