IM STRUGGLIN. I should not have tried to set lucid dreaming goals during finals week...
Missed yesterday but now I'm back.
Shoot man I don't even know what was going on in this dream. Alright, so I'm in this odd underground area that sort of feels like a gaming map, and a long distance away I can see this teenage boy on the enemy team with a gun, aiming at something else. I'm behind cover (kinda looking through a window at him below), and I've got a gun too (some kind of modern, silver handgun) but I'm not completely sure I know how to use it.
Still, I decide to do my best: I leave cover and stand, holding the gun carefully with both hands at arm's length, aim down the sight, and start popping off shots at the teenage kid. The first few miss, but each time I'm correcting my aim a little, and the two-hand grip is helping me not get thrown off too badly by the recoil. The kid is starting to scramble as he realizes he's being shot at, when one of my shots hits him dead in the forehead and he goes down (with some gore, icky). I don't feel too bad about "killing" a teenager... it feels like a multiplayer shooter, except that I'm seeing the person and their character rolled into one.
I'm just proud of that moment, because I was being so careful and methodical rather than autopiloting. Progress!
Other parts of the dream (or a different dream) featured me inducing multiple pregnancies (and, a few days later, abortions) in myself because my sister wanted me to (and was doing the same thing, I think). Somehow it helped her out. I kept doing this until the more rational part of my brain caught up and I became legitimately concerned that the abortion pill wouldn't "work" somehow, and I'd be stuck with a pregnancy... and besides that, I wasn't sure how I felt about ending a potential human life, even if it was still only at the "potential" stage. Some part of me was wondering what color eyes and what kind of personality would've been represented by the exact combination of genes that I kept discarding (and combining more, and discarding).
Today's dreamsign is: knowing that I can shoot a kid without consequences (but I thought it was because I was in a game rather than a dream hmmmmmmmm ... I should do reality checks while gaming I think, maybe every time I do something that would normally have a consequence if it were real life).
Updated Today at 05:54 PM by 39676
Fish coming out of the plants around me as I walk they seem to be coming from anywhere I look - they are alive ...it's a bit weird ~ I want to run but I realise I am dreaming! I stop and allow the fish to land on my hand one by one as if effortlessly manifesting from thin air. I look at them closely - they are mostly black and flat but alive.
"I am dreaming" breath and slow down ✨
I ask my friend what this means what it symbolises - He said it means I must take these abundant fish everywhere I go, give and share them with everyone -" like a gift "I thought and this made me happy - but then he explained that by giving everyone the fish they would then be connected back here to him and that was important. I felt deep inside that there was something not right about this this ...controle ...I wanted to think nice thoughts about it and in giving the fish generously " how nice etc" 🌈but I just couldn't 😬I felt it was a bit of a con and wander if I should be involved in this giving of fish so that this control I could be had...I am puzzled and saddened as I wake.
We are in a big complex - G has a major role to play I seem to be of value and am doing my best yet I am keeping myself in the back ground. I become aware there are some teachings on - being given- I feel I should be there ...but wander why I am not...I see there are some who realy want to go and I could easily go but I am not...I am told its on Tatagatagarba. I finally go in, late, and slip into a seat anf put headphones on. It's wonderfully loud music and I love it - I start dancing and moving around with delight - people think I am a little mad.
I am jumping around on a mooving train I can't find G and shout if anyone saw him...no ...the train is picking up speed going passed the platform now ...I can't be sure G is on the train ...shall I jump off and wait or stay on....I stay on...the train is moving too fast - I am away and hope G is with me🌺
Updated Today at 05:19 PM by 87274
Created Wednesday 07 December 2016
Numerous dreams identified, including three DILDs, though I can't recall much of the non-LDs.
Scrap Group 1
Walking around my neighborhood. I start thinking of dream signs. This includes being back in highschool and doing poorly in a science class.
Dream 1 - TOTM Advanced Task I - Take 1
False awakening in the master bedroom. After lingering thoughts on previous dreams, I realized the dream state. Made a breath test to confirm as much, which was inconclusive. So, I fell off, and slowly floated down to the floor. That'll do it.
Then, I began "powering up", yelling as I did. There was no clear sign this was working. In fact, I felt I was getting weaker the longer I tried, so I stopped.
Remembered the spinning TOTM. I hovered, and tried spinning in place, but this was likewise exhausting. Within seconds, I was out of breath, and lost grasp of the dream.
Scrap Group 2
More false awakenings in the same location.
Dream 2 - TOTM Advanced Task I - Take 2
False awakening in my bedroom. I stand near the mirror, and try taking my sleeping mask off, only to have it magically slide back on. Clearly, I was dreaming. Still couldn't remove the mask though, so I ignored it.
Before continuing, I rubbed my hands for 10 seconds. Then, I tried that TOTM again. As before, I strained myself trying to spin in place. Thus, I ignored physical movement in favor of willing myself to do as much, yielding much better results.
Cut. I'm flying in a night sky. Dire storm clouds were immediately below me, spinning steadily into a fledgeling tornado. This all felt sorta damp and stuffy. I fall intentionally. Just then, the clouds formed into a creepy robot face. Kinda startling, but I dove in anyway.
Another warp. Projected holographically ahead of me was an unlit plane, the floors formed of dim gridlines. Suddenly, demonic shadows appear. Only their glowing yellow eyes were clearly visible. I had the robot back off to a corner. Tried brightening the place up for a better look, but didn't manage that.
By then, I noticed my left eye was fast shut. In my attempts to wrench it open, I feel myself in bed, and awaken soon afterwards.
Scrap Group 3
False awakening. Walk down to the living room, where dad and Carl lingered around. Then, they announce finding a bat and hawk in the backyard. That sounded exceedingly unlikely. I realized the dream state, but wake up soon afterwards.
False awakening in bed. An unknown person slid their hand over my face, hampering my breathing. I realized the state, and tried imagining who would be responsible. The dream simply collapses soon afterwards.
Updated Today at 05:13 PM by 89930
Here & Now worked again. The only hard part is calming down my mind to the point of stillness and awareness in the moment. Then, it is being patient with the pain of doing nothing, thinking nothing; not even about what I want to do in the lucid dream. Eventually, I feel the transition and know I am dream when I can freely move around as if I am on a rotisserie. The next hard part is then attempting to get visuals going which takes a bit of finesse and in-dream-visualization. I can feel my way around my room, however.
The next challenge is stabilizing the dream world because in all three attempts I have woken up, and immediately been pulled back into a non-lucid dream because I did not reset my mind into a quiet, clear, calm, present awareness. It honestly takes patience and discipline.
+ in the hills observing a public utility fence it's boarded up I see the sheets of plywood covering the openings and observe the pattern of nails: some have lots of little nails along the top and bottom tightly spaced, I think "wow they really don't want anybody getting in there." I think about how hard it would be to pry those boards off of there. some boards are nailed only along the vertical middle with larger nails with easier to see shiny heads. Some areas have the boards pulled aside I think the vandals/kids did this, and I want to look inside to see the (barrels?) hidden by the boards but don't. To the right I see that some sections of the fence have had their (glass now?) sections removed by neighborhood kids using those openings in that section of the fence as a shortcut across the fence.
+ sitting on the ground on short grass, I look across the street to my right and "recognize" [FALSE] the place as a rehersal/concert location that my orchestra has used many times before, I recognize features of the place and realize I'm seeing them from a different perspective. Guy walks up and talks about my instrument. I'm playing (another guy's?) instrument there's a bad/leaky key and I'm helping him troubleshoot it. High F to E seems bad so it must be right G key. I hold a note and he pushes things around and we eventually determine it is a faulty ring key on the b-hole [FALSE/WRONG]. I'm talking about my ancient <mouthpiece> and how it's very old (decades) and how it will probably fail eventually, I look inside and there's some nasty decay? Someone asks what a "R"-tool is for and I say thinning out the tube but you have to be careful not to get it too thin.
+ dream of attacking with a pew pew blaster pistol sci-fi show actors it's not hard to beat them since they're just actors after all. Something about an alien invasion they steal a girl by smearing knock-out gas paste under her nose. I'm telling my boys about the alien invasion and how we have to manage their numbers?
+ walking in park, head back to the entrance which is steep and rocky, there is a line of color difference in the little cliff there and I think this comes from people traditionally peeing on the rocks in this location. To get out you'll have to get a running start up a bumpy and steep short section but I think I can make it.
+ LUCIDD 224 LD#224 I'm on my CH deck heading towards the short steps down to the back garden when I get lucid. I stop and immediately think of stabilizing and TOTM. I turn back on to the deck, rub my hands together looking around and see the black slat railing in front of me at the kitchen corner which fades, the whole scene is fading to black. Dang. I know the house is a step to my right so I put up my hands and walk to the right expecting to meet the house and I do. I keep my hands on the wall of the house until I start getting some visual detail back, it's still dark. I see mom emerge from the back porch door on to the deck, she ignores me and turns down the steps into the garden, I follow her saying "Hey Mom, what's up!?" It is now bright daylight, almost cartoonishly bright. She keeps heading up the steps towards the driveway, and eventually says "I'm getting a bag [from the street]." I don't follow, I look up and see my dad's on the driveway and notice that it's an accurate rendering of his face in his about mid-50s. There are some large trucks on the street (the neighbors are finally moving?). I sit down on a patch of flat concrete and decide to write down the TOTMs as this will help me remember them. I wonder if I can write anything at all in the concrete. I scratch a "1" with my fingernail and I see it clearly, but no tasks come to memory and
the dream fades.
continue? I'm thinking about the flower pot of roses (which I bought for wife IWL) and observing how the roots have grown and broken through the inner layer of the ceramic pot.
I'm standing in a room by myself. It's a bit of a dark room. I think I see my own reflection in a big mirror that's mounted on the wall. I can't recall why, but I decide that I need to perform an RC. I attempt to push the index finger of my right hand through the palm of my left hand. Slowly, it works. I was already quite certain that I was dreaming, but I'm happy nonetheless. It's been a while since I was last lucid. Ok, calm down, don't get too excited. I perform the RC a few times to stabilise myself. I then think of what I want to do. Lets summon Lara? Nah, I don't want to do that. I realise that I have my earplugs in. I want to change the music that is on. At first I just think about it, but no success. I decide to shout the command, which is the name of a song that I don't remember. Normally if I try to do this, my voice is a bit muffled, so shouting works fine. This time my voice isn't muffled and I'm slightly surprised by my own volume. It's a bit loud. What would the effect of this be in the real world? Nothing happens at first. I'm tempted to touch the remote to change the music, but then it does happen I believe.
Its night, I’m with a girl in a car. We go park the car in a supermarket parking, then we move the car in another place because people can see us. … Now Its grey(early morning), I’m going back home walking on the road when I decide to jump up sitting down as if a car will appear if I do that but I fall on my but on the road. I decide to go back to the parking. On the way I see a beautiful forest very green, I say to myself why do I need to continue when I can stay here and I realize it’s a dream. I start floating in the air and going in the forest. The forest is going more deeper down that I’m scare that I will lost the ability of floating and fall down in the deep forest. The dream starts to fade, so I decide to walk(I only feel the sensation of walking) I appear on stairs(the dream stabilize), I fall backward and let myself pull backward. I stand up, I put my two hands on my mouth and start shouting out loud that I’m dreaming that even my voice is going. I’m now in the garden, I say to myself what can I do when I remember about a beautiful blonde lady (which I saw before going to sleep) that I didn’t know how I will make her appear. I decide that when I go to the bathroom she will be here but before entering the house I remember my last lucid dream in which I lost it, so I decide to stay in the garden. There is some bin, I’m thinking of opening the bin and she will appear. I walk when I see a black car park on the road with a lady in it, I’m thinking why is she park here…
Updated Today at 04:22 AM by 80487
I'm starting to finally feel the effects of the work I've put in towards lucid dreaming; I'm starting to remember my dreams more often, and I can say with certainty that I'm well on my way to a lucid. Anyway, on to the dream.
I don't know what the entry point of the dream was, or if it just started out with this. I was looking for a shiny minior, my favorite Pokemon, and I was running from fights, when a minior appeared. I was about to run from it, when I noticed the shiny animation. I got rather excited, and took a good, long look at it. It was just like a normal minior, but its spikes were brown, which was unusual. Upon looking at them, they turned back to the normal white. The minior's shell had unusual cracks too, barely revealing the Pokemon inside. I switch to the pokeballs. I amuse myself with the thought of using the masterball on it, but decided against it. I forget what ball I used, but I caught it. The dream switches to me, as I open my phone to brag at my kik group chat. I wake up to my alarm, and have a failed WBTB.
Strangely enough, for the first time that I can remember in a dream, I acted exactly how I would if this had happened whilst I was awake.
I am in Physics class doing an assignment. I look at a sheet of paper Liam was staring at his desk, and realize that it is the reworked test problems. I thought about how fast he already had reworked all the problems. Like in a day. Later during the class we are standing up doing something. I end up falling down on the ground and all the guys around me go crazy and crowd around me. While I was on the ground, I wondered what the people across the room were thinking especially km.
I enter Physics class but the classroom isn't the original Physics room I know of. Instead, it's some dull room with desks packed together. I end up going to a desk to find some of the girls in the class sitting in the desks around it. I noticed how km was to my right and could tell she looked at me a few times.
I am taking the retest in Physics class. During the retest, I had my folder out. I was working on the retest when I opened the folder to put something away. At that time Mr. Peters comes over and I think he assumes that I am cheating because he tells me something about only having the retest paper on my desk. I wasn't quite done and Cav morning almost ended. And I really needed to get an A on this retest so I decided to not turn it in and keep the retest with me until the end of the day. At the end of the day, I would quickly turn in the test in the class papers section. I am am now some small office type room and talking to some fat lady.
I am entering the lunch room when I see my friend Anthony and greet him. We chill standing near the entrance area for a while. Anthony had a bottle in his hand. He was gonna do the bottle flip. He flipped/threw the bottle a long distance the bottle landed right on the cap and slip down the table! I was surprised because it was amazing the way he did it. Then I go to the table my friends were sitting at. There was an empty space between them so I realized that it was for me. I sit in the seat. I noticed 2 others at our table. I tell my friends about the bottle flip Anthony did and explain how he threw the bottle in a way that it didn't flip, but instead flew a distance in the air like a projectile and landed on its cap. I explained with my arms and hands.
I am in some classroom I haven't been before. It is also a little dull. I am sitting with Peyton and Andrew. I had to get up and ask the teacher something. There were already a few girls in line so I decided to get behind them and wait my turn. There was the girl from physics (who sits next to Bradley) telling the teacher to vote for her for the class presidency. I thought to myself that she wasn't even going to get voted. I am at my desk again. Peyton was talking and said how it was "boring" here. Andrew came up with ideas of what to do and I even said "cards." I told Peyton that we should play cards and he didn't find the idea bad at all.
Non-lucid – Notes – lucid – Interpretation
“Imprinting a tiger”
In the dusk I find myself walking into a garden. Et is elongated and narrow and towards the end there is a house. I look to my right into the hedge. At the grass I see a female duck and below her chest a small duckling that soon meets my eye. As we lock our eyes together the duckling starts a trip out into the uncut grass towards where I am now sat down. Behind it follows it’s mother, trying to establish contact with little luck as it seems the duckling has already imprinted me as its mother.
I feel both excited and ashamed. I feel guilty for robbing the duck of the chance to bond with its off spring, but also excited and joyful of my own bonding with the creature. I look down at its little beak and let it push its body against my knees and one of my hands. Then I look up at its mother and try and stroke its chest. It lets me, but with an air of calculative anticipation and scepticism, which makes me apprehensive, if persistent.
I then look down again at the duckling. I don’t recognise the absurdity that the creature has now transformed into a miniature Tiger of maybe 10-12 cm in length and is crawling about on my right thigh. When I look up at the mother duck again to explain that I am deeply sorry that I have stolen her chance to bond with her infant.
When I look up mother duck is now wearing glasses and a pearl necklace, and quite frankly it would be impossible to describe if she looks more like a duck than a human. She explains “That is OK I had a clutch 3 months ago.” and frankly she sounds relieved.
“Travelling in trains with Liv”
I am standing on a lengthy and wide platform on a train station. It is morning and the lighting foretells of a sunny day, which has yet to breach the foggy clouds above and around. It seems like late spring or summer. I am standing with Liv and we are going somewhere. The conversation we are having is about finding the right train.
There is more to the dream, though I recall nothing but this fragment.
“Getting to the shore, 4 metal objects in the water”
I am on the water. The sun is bright and the ocean water which I am on is very bright and lightly blue. Up ahead I see a beach, a wide and almost white sandy beach. I think my Dad is there with me and he asks:
“Do you remember us being here?”
I look up towards the right and in the distance gaze upon a little island around 50-100 metres from the shore. As the foliage behind the beach the island is covered in lustrous trees and other greenery. I remember this place, I have indeed been here before.
(In writing this I recall a dream of way back, perhaps detailed somewhere within this journal. I am in Holstebro, where we throw our family reunions, and as I walk down the forest pathway that in waking life take you to the river in the dream it takes me to a cove. From this cove I rush across the open water to an Island, which is the one I see in this dream.)
I jump out in to the water and submerge myself. Light penetrates the surface and everything looks very bright, if blurry beneath. I loose four metal objects I have in my pocket and for a moment worry if I still have my phone in my pocket. I check that it is empty and then sweep the sand below and pull up the objects, where one of them is a key. Then I head for the beach.
End of dream/recall
I am literally running from the law for kissing someone.
I am now IN a game where you are an animal. You have to reproduce and look after your children until they reach adulthood. I choose to lay eggs instead of have birth, but they are eaten by Olivids.
Olivids are small invasive egg eating birds. I then kill and eat them, and they taste like salmon.
My brother is staying in a house, with white walls, low ceiling and a large collection of vinyl records stacked to one side. My brother and sisters are telling me I may inherit my parents house. And i am filled with relief at the possibility of having a home. there is a music concert going on.
At a conference, I am organising there are loads of groups gathered. At one table their are people with an old style mini-computer which I try to connect with a usb connected to a big silicon chip. A red gauge keeps showing to say out of juice. At another area kids are riding on pretend animals, I help put the animal covers back on. Next there is a table with kids from my school one is eating dorrttose and cream (spooky as today I was offered something like this Oo),
Did the same technique as I did yesterday, and had a WILD. Funny thing about WILD is that I never feel the sleep paralysis vibrations everyone talks about. I just feel the transition and instantly know I am dreaming. In the past I could never get my eyes open. This time it took a little finesse to get visuals. I could however, move around my room and feel my way around.
Tried to find dream character. Lucid dream ended and I woke up. I went back to dreaming without doing the proper anchor and I lost lucidity. The dreams were vivid, though.
1. I was at work and saw such grumpy people everywhere so I decided I was going to start something fun and called it "Hugs to Make the World a Happier Place". I walked up to random people and asked if I could give them a hug but the only catch if they said yes was they had to do it at least once to someone else. They all said yes and before you knew it everyone at work was laughing and having fun hugging each other. Hmmmm I am going to try this today lol.
2. I woke up to let dogs out and was trying to get back to sleep when I heard a computerized voice say "UP" very sternly.
3. I then continued to try to get back to sleep when I saw the cloudy white light moving like a large flying bird flapping gently then gliding, it kept replaying over and over like a movie clip, but once again it looked like my eagle I keep seeing in real life.
Note: If anyone reads this try #1 PLEASE. Let me know if how it works :-)
Rules are...Through January 1..You are to walk up to at least one person a day and ask them if you can give them a hug and explain the terms that it is "Hugs to Make the World a Happier Place"...They have to do the same through January 1...I am doing this starting today!!!!
Updated Yesterday at 12:32 PM by 91609