Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

In a group of people, we are all taken prisoner. Our captors try to get me to give out information to help them capture and kill more people, but I refuse. They threaten to kill me if I don't tell them. I think that's a good reason to die. I get pushed down to the ground, and they threaten me again. I close my eyes and go to my happy place. I hear machine gun fire, and feel bullets ripping through my flesh. My shoulders, arms, legs and torso are all hit repeatedly, and I can tell the bullets pass right through me. I'm in shock. I can't open my eyes. I don't want to open my eyes. My visual awareness starts to swirl together and then get all whispy. Although my eyes are closed, even the glittering blackness begins to fade. Then I see horrible faces all around, like dark gray demons scowling and growling at me with menacing faces. I don't feel that I have a body anymore, just a consciousness. I generate my best mind of Love for all the demons, but it's pretty clear that regardless of what I do, I'm going to a very bad place right now. I pray for help, confident that no matter how late, there's always help to be had if I'm open to it and want it. The demons fade into a dark gray for a bit and then come back. This definitely feels like dying. It also feels like I'm going to hell or something like that, but I'm not terrified. I'm a little bummed out because I don't think I'll like it, but I think it's worth it to help everyone. With what seems like my last moment of this stream of consciousness, I sincerely pray for everyone to attain enlightenment. Suddenly it all seems hilarious. I get a few brief visions of Vajrayogini smiling at me. Then I wake up.

Captured by terrorists, I am forced into slave labor. My job is to clean used bullets that have been reloaded, and then crimp the casing onto the bullet so they stay together. Many of them have a lot of dirt all over, so I submerge them in a bucket of water as I wipe them with my thumb to clean it all off.

All sizes of bullets are given to me in a big tub. Tiny little hand gun bullets, rifle bullets, and huge machine gun bullets. I grab one that appears to be all ready, with no possible crimping to do to it. I worry that if I try to crimp it, it will explode and injure me. I look at it, and hold it with my crimping tool, not sure what to do just yet.

A woman sees this happening, and comes over to me. She seems to be uninvolved with any of the terrorist activity, and tells me that one is fine, and to set it aside and go to the next one. I do, along with whatever other bullets also appear to be fine like that one. Then I grab a weird one, with four prongs protruding from the tip of it. I bring it to the attention of the captive next to me, and we both comment on how strange this one is. I ask him, "Do you think it's so that if they miss, but it's still close, one of the prongs will still get you?" as I demonstrate a slow motion bullet fly by with it.

Suddenly, a big projector screen is dropped open in front of us and all the lights are immediately turned off. In just shades of red and black, a training video is shown to us, where we are supposed to shoot at any people we see on the screen. As I watch, there is no one there I think we should shoot at, so I don't do anything as the video progresses from images of one family to another.