Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

I'm driving my mom's car for the first time in a while, and am having a grand old time doing 360s on the snowy road, while avoiding crashing into the other traffic on the road. I turn up a hill to my right and the back end of the car whips around half way, I turn the wheel the other direction, slam it in reverse and put the pedal to the floor, causing the car to do 2 complete spins. I'm heading toward a big snow bank, so I turn the wheel the other way and keep the pedal to the floor. The car starts going back down the hill toward the road. It's really slippery, so I start turning about a hundred feet before the road. Sliding sideways pretty fast now, I keep my foot on the gas and power slide out into the main road. Another car is coming the opposite direction. I do some fancy maneuvering with the steering wheel to get out of the power slide and just barely avoid the oncoming car. Close call there. Now on the main road, I'm just driving normally. Another car comes, but it is really straddling the center line. I move over to avoid it, but it's too far on my side. I spin my car sideways to avoid a head on collision, and just tap the front headlight of the other car with the rear bumper of mine. I pull over into the nearby store to see if the other car is damaged or not. She has already pulled in, and the store owner and her are looking at the car. I get out, turn the car off, and walk up, seeing a bunch of fluid pouring out of the other car. It looks like radiator fluid. At least it's coming out of the radiator, it really looks just like water. The store owner says, "You might want to add some oil or antifreeze to it." The other driver looks at her, gets a really upset look on her face and yells back, "Really?!? Obviously I'll have to add more coolant to it! How could I not?" I notice a pipe has come completely loose. If that pipe could just be welded back on, she'd be good to go. I think about possible repair costs and mechanic labor. Looking at the pipe again, a new pipe might not be that expensive, it's a straight tube going between two fittings. So one pipe, one fitting, and an hour tops to weld it, can't be much more than $200. I'm relieved that it won't be very expensive because I'm broke. Although it's really ironic that I didn't crash at all while messing around, but only when I started to drive safely that something happened...

This time, on the toilet at work. Barely even 2 minutes in, my mind started to drift all over to things I was doing earlier in the day. I was watching a video of some crazy mountain bikers riding down mountain spines and doing back flips off huge jumps on the mountain.

Suddenly, it takes a turn into fiction, and I see the announcer before me speaking into the microphone as he looks at me through the camera. "Unfortunately, he killed his daughter..."

The camera cuts to a mountain biker in mid-air half way through a back flip. He lands it a little rough, but no one seemed hurt. Then he becomes pregnant, and in the next moment, the baby girl is on the handle bars, and then flies off the bike in front of him from the force of the landing and hits the ground.

Mid exclamation, "Holy Shi-" I wake up, still on the john.

Maybe lasted about 10 seconds. Longest duration yet.