Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

Riding my bicycle up a really beautiful hill through a summer meadow, the road continues into a cool forest tunnel, thick with trees and vegetation. I go a few hundred feet into it, then turn around to zoom down the road really fast on my bike. I go too fast, and can't stay on the road. Trying not to crash, I go into the meadow off to my right, and bounce to a stop before walking back to the road to continue on. Lots of fun!

I reach home at the bottom of the hill, and feel a sharp poke on my hand. I look and there are several small spiders on me, apparently biting me. My hand and upper arm start to go numb, followed by my shoulder. They seem to have a powerful venom, so I try to brush them off without killing them so they stop biting me. As soon as I brush them off, I notice more on me. Using a soft leaf, I brush those off as well.

Now that I appear to be spider free, I prepare to take a shower. Suddenly, I am covered with the little spiders, and also a single other bug, not very large, but with a painful bite. It is very strong, and I can't brush this one off. I have to pinch my skin together and grab it to remove it from my arm. Tossing it aside, it runs really fast. Not sure if it is going to get me again, I am quickly distracted by the several hundred tiny venomous spiders all over my arms and legs. I also feel something on my back but can't see it.

Trying to get all the spiders off harmlessly, as they bite me, I flinch a little, and probably hurt a few of them. It takes me a while, but I manage to get all of them off that I can see, and quickly get in the shower to the relative safety of the running water. I suspect that when I veered off into the meadow, I picked up all those spiders on me somehow.

I'm standing in a strange room, not really sure where, and realize I'm dreaming. I feel a bit mentally tired for some reason, so I decide to mostly just go with the flow of the dream rather than change it a lot. There is an army general looking guy in front of me, like the Russian guy from November Man. At least that's the role he's playing in my dream. Since I'm dreaming, I hit him across the face a few times to teach him not to be so evil. He just sits there and doesn't do anything, then gets up and motions for me to follow him. He walks over to a door, and opens it to a black void and steps through, disappearing out of the room.

I tell him to, "wait, I just need to find a fortune cookie" as I remember one of the Tasks. I reach into my right pocket expectantly, but its empty. I try my left pocket - empty. I reach into my back pockets, and they are empty too. I notice a shelf on the wall, full of bags of chips. "There's always fortune cookies stashed away on the back of shelves like this" I tell myself as I reach far back. I have to stand on my tip toes to reach back to the end, and I push all the chips over to the right as I feel around back there. Then I feel it - "A'ha!" I'm excited to see what it has to say. Before I open it, I wish that whatever wisdom I receive from this cookie, that it is beneficial for everyone and helps me as well in profound ways. I unwrap it, break it open, and scarf down half of it as I pull the tiny paper out. I notice that it tastes just like a regular fortune cookie.

I look at the fortune, and everything starts to get really blurry and the room starts to spin, everything starts fading as well. It seems like I'm about to wake up. I tell myself that, "I'm in control here, I can do what I want!" and remind myself that I'm dreaming, I have a dream body, and I'm standing in this dream room, about to read a fortune cookie. I'm holding the fortune upside down, so I rotate it right side up. As I do so, the lettering all changes to become very cryptic. I remember from looking at it upside down that it said something to the effect of, "It's godly to have no delusions, but look in your garden" I want to get a more accurate impression of the punctuation, spelling and so forth, but the more I look at the fortune, the more cryptic it becomes until it's just dots and commas, maybe a y and a j on there, but the message has completely changed. I look away and look back, but it is still losing clarity - mark by mark on the tiny paper.

I decide that I've milked that task for all I can so far, and remember the shoe task. I sit down at the table in the same room, and put a shoe on each foot. They just spontaneously appeared in front of me as I sat down, and my feet were just wearing socks, so it was really smooth. They even fit! Just regular running shoes. The room spins a little, and I'm now standing in a hallway, walking through a dorm building to my room. I really have to go to the bathroom, but I again remind myself that I'm dreaming, focus on my body, and my environment, and some sort of plan. That's it, a plan! What was I doing? I remember the shoes task again, but am not really sure I ever tied my shoes.

I walk into my room, the middle of which is a shower, surrounded by bunk beds. I don't see anyone else in the room. The lighting is rather dim, and I'm dressed like I'm about to take a shower (well, not dressed at all it turns out). The water turns on by itself, and the whole room seems to have become a shower. As the water pours down on me, I enjoy how warm and relaxing it feels. Now for the shoes. I normally wouldn't put shoes on in this situation, but I'm not satisfied with how it went earlier. Bending over, shoes again appear next to my feet. Some sort of running shoes again. I put them on, and tie a granny knot on each shoe - now soaked through and through from the shower.

Having to go pee really bad, I question just going in the dream, but don't want to wet myself IRL, so I hold it. Holy crap it burns I have to go so bad though. I remember drinking a 1/2 gallon of water just before bed, so it's probably an accurate signal.
I lose lucidity, and find myself on a boat, being excommunicated from my town, sent south along a river to Mexico or somewhere. Basically anywhere but where I was. It is a nice day, and I enjoy the sun as my room mates and I are floating down stream. I ask where they think we're going, and they don't know. Then my room mate RZ grabs onto a rope, and opens a sail, then jumps off our boat onto a raft. Pulling at the rope, he builds up some tension, then leaps off the raft and flies through the air, leaving us all behind to watch him fly away.

Then I wake up, having to pee, but not that bad.