Dreamography

[Astrius]

Welcome to my dream journal. Blah, blah, blah...

[Astrius]

Date: 29th Jan, 2008 Title: Political flavour with a star guest Lucidity: No Supplements: 200mg of 5-HTP Rating: 2 Scene 1: I am having a conversation with someone about how strange it is that our friend's dad should have become Prime Minister. We remark on how he was such a quiet, unassuming man and I say something to the effect of "It's almost as if he's possessed." Scene 2: I am in a city with a female who I do not recognize, but seem to know. We're discussing civil liberties. Strangely, we can move back in time simply by entering a different street. We go back to 1989 and there's a comedian (I think on TV in a shop window) saying something like "they'll be going through our rubbish next." Then we return to the present day and comment on how something that once seemed so bizarre is now so close to becoming a reality (and is already a reality in some places). We are then joined by Russell Brand (a British DJ/presenter/comedian). We continue discussing politics and he praises me for knowing what's going on. I reply by saying "I know that you know what's going on as well." We then clamber up something like a laundry chute and peer in at a group of females doing something like gymnastics. The "teacher" sees us and says something like "Oh good, we could use some more men." But at hearing this, we slide back down the "laundry chute" and back out into the street. Date: 30th Jan, 2008 Title: How dumb am I? Lucidity: No (but should have been) Supplements: None Rating: 3 It was some sort of family holiday (in a car) and we were in Turkey. I was getting quite excited about walking around and seeing the sites. We eventually arrived at a Car Park, which cost 75p. Nobody thought it worth paying, however, which I could hardly believe. In fact, I was quite annoyed. Russell Brand was there too, oddly enough - I watched him park and pay the money. I then started to think "If we don't get out, I'll have nothing to write about in my dream journal!" But, even so, it didn't click that I was actually dreaming. At this point I got some change from my pocket and offered to pay the 75p myself, which was accepted. After parking, we had access to some sort of strange museum. The only thing I can remember clearly about it, however, was a machine that allowed a person to test their typing speed. I tried it out for myself, but instead of letters, the keys of the keyboard were faces. One was supposed to look at the faces on the screen and then touch the corresponding keys on the keyboard. I suppose the concentration this required makes it a particularly vivid memory. Anyway, as we continue through the museum, I find myself wondering how I'm going to describe it all the next day and thinking that keeping a journal is a good way of becoming lucid (although I stil wasn't actually lucid!) Comments: I've read in so many lucid dream books about the importance of keeping a journal, yet have always been sceptical (or lazy). I guess I should have listened though, because starting one here on DV led directly to a dream which SHOULD have given me full lucidity. It's certainly the closest I've come in a while. From reading the above description, some may say that I WAS lucid, but I wasn't. I've had enough lucid dreams to know the difference. Had I been truly lucid, do you think I'd have stayed in a museum?

[Astrius]

Date: 31st Jan, 2008 Title: 007 Lucidity: No Supplements: 4000mg L-glutamine, 300mg L-theanine (taken after a few hours of sleep) Rating: 3 My dreams were fairly mixed-up last night, but the most memorable one had me as some sort of James Bond character. It involved lots of running through city streets, people with guns, hiding, etc. The closest I came to becoming lucid was during a scene in a toilet cubical. As I hoisted myself up into the "hatch" above (in order to escape my enemies), I remember thinking "how convenient" and "this wouldn't happen in real life." Still though, I didn't grasp the fact that I was dreaming. My incarnation as 007 seemed to be prompted by a conversation I was having with Barbara Windsor (the actress), in which I explained to her why the "New Year" was meaningless, the date having been chosen merely to trick people into worshipping the god Janus. Comments: This is the first time that I tried the glutamine/theanine mix, and am a little disappointed. I can't say that it had any noticeable effects whatsoever. The glutamine tablets are also huge, so it's not exactly pleasant trying to down four of those in the middle of the night (I should have bought the powder version instead). Next time (although not necessarily tonight), I intend to add L-aspartic acid to the mix, as recommended by Thomas Yuschak

[Astrius]

Date: 1st Feb, 2008 Title: A Wild Ride Lucidity: Yes Supplements: 4mg galantamine, 100mg choline citrate, 0.5mg melatonin (taken after a few hours of sleep) Rating: 7.5 I had a little trouble getting back to sleep after taking the supplement, but was rewarded with two of the best dreams I've had in ages (one of them lucid). Dream 1 (non-lucid): This dream is best summarized as "flying practice" and is the lengthiest flying dream I've ever had. It was actually more like floating/levitation than flying, but it didn't prevent me from showing off to the pedestrians below! The landscape was fairly urban. At one point I retrieved an envelope for someone from a rooftop. It contained photos, which he showed me. One of the photos pictured a dead relative (a corpse) posing with living ones. In a latter scene, I am at the home of Giorgio Armani. Quite why I should dream about him, I have no idea. I'm not at all interested in fashion and have never read or seen anything about the guy, neither do I own (or know anyone who owns) any of his clothes. Anyway, his home was a mansion, with swimming pools and bikini-clad women walking around. Still though, I was more interested in my flying and didn't "land" once during the dream. I do remember wanting to be alone, however, and desiring to get above the clouds. I was quite frustrated when I found that I couldn't. In fact, I couldn't get much higher than the roof-tops. It felt as if there was some sort of invisible barrier preventing me from going any higher. Dream 2 (lucid): Technically, I suppose this was a DILD. I'm classifying it as a DIWILD, however... a Dream-Induced WILD (if that makes any sense?) You see, it started out as a normal dream. But then I decided (in the dream) to go to sleep and try to become lucid. The result was a WILD (within the dream). I was amazed at how quickly I became lucid without losing consciousness. This time the landscape was more rural and I was eager to practice my flying again (this time in a lucid state). Again, however, I felt frustration at my lack of speed and inability to get very high. Then, suddenly, some sort of futuristic craft shot across the landscape, just a few feet from the ground. Jealous of its speed, I immediately tried to follow. The craft had stopped a little way ahead, so I soon caught up with it. At first I tried to hold on to the rear "fins" - as if it were a dolphin. But as I continued to examine the vehicle, I could see that it was actually a sort of hover-bike, with a seat, handles and controls. So I clambered on board, grasped what appeared to be the throttle and away I go. HOLY MOLY! This thing was amazing and gave me all the speed and maneuverability I desired. I must have been grinning from ear to ear. As I leaned back and headed for the clouds, there was some trepidation about going higher (everything seemed so realistic). But I just kept assuring myself that I wasn't in physical reality and that no harm could come of me. I broke through the fear barrier at about the same time as I broke through the cloud layer... eventually entering the blackness of space, which was awash with stars and spiral galaxies. This was truly a moment of bliss and I actually awoke with a big smile on my face Comments: Today was the first time I'd ever tried galantamine and, despite my scepticism, it actually worked... giving me my first lucid in a long time. I should probably now take the "morning after" pill (of piracetam), but I don't actually have any. And, besides, I think I'd prefer to let the galantamine leave my system naturally. It seems that using galantamine once or twice a week (without piracetam) is perfectly okay. I also intend to try it without the melatonin next time, but those pills are still en-route.

[Astrius]

Date: 2nd Feb, 2008 Title: Canteen Beast Lucidity: No Supplements: 1 Dreamboost + 100mg 5-HTP (taken at bedtime) Rating: 2 The most vivid dream fragment I can recall involves a huge (but friendly) beast roaming around a canteen. It was about 5ft high and 10ft long, resembling a tortoise without its shell. In a later dream I remember distancing myself from an old friend due to his disrespectful behaviour toward his girlfriend. Comments: Whilst I've never noticed any significant effect from either Dreamboost or 5-HTP, last night was notably uneventful, with an unusual lack of narrative.

[Astrius]

Date: 3rd Feb, 2008 Title: Our unborn nature Lucidity: No Supplements: 2000mg L-aspartic acid, 4000mg L-glutamine, 300mg L-theanine (taken at bedtime) Rating: 4.5 My brother and I are floating high in the sky over the earth (Jerusalem, specifically). More significant than the location, however, is the feeling of complete and utter detachment from the "game of life." We briefly discuss some deception that had taken place here (I forget the details). We then talk about how all of earth's problems are caused by identification with form. Instead of identifying as infinite consciousness, people had identified with the land on which they were born, their religion, their family, their political preferences, their body, their job, etc, etc. There was a powerful sense that the "actors" had so identified with their roles that they actually believed the "play" to be real. I remember thinking that just a few moments in this state of detachment would reveal to everyone how "silly" (and disasterous) their identification with form had truly been. Love itself could then return to being universal and unconditional, which is not "generosity," but wisdom. Comments: I actually seemed to be dreaming all night long, but this was the most memorable one. The other dream fragments were fairly short and made little sense. I'd have a hard time remembering them all, let alone putting them into words. Whilst it's too early to form any conclusions about the "amino blend," I don't personally feel that it had any significant effect. It may have increased REM time, but I can't be sure.

[Astrius]

Date: 4th Feb, 2008 Title: Housewarming Party Lucidity: No Supplements: None Rating: 4.2 I had just purchased an amazing apartment for a bargain price and was celebrating in style. I remember making a joke about not being able to reach the ceiling anymore, and then encouraging people to look up at the cathedral-like dome. As with yesterday's dream, however, the feelings evoked seemed more important than the setting (in this case, feelings of tremendous joy, fun and eroticism). The "waitresses" were foreign. A number of them moved between guests (who I didn't know, yet seemed to know) with trays of food and drink. A mutual attraction occured with one of them and our open (public) displays of intimacy did not seem inappropriate. In a later scene, I recall telling jokes to a crowd of guests whilst jumping on a trampoline. Comments: It never fails to amaze me how different my dream persona often is from my waking persona. So much so, that even to relate such dreams in the first-person seems inappropriate. Who are we really, once freed from the matrix of genetic code and personal history (conditioning)? Who are we really, once our human meat suit has fallen away? I suggest we need only look to our dreams for answers. I didn't take any supplements last night and, from the evidence so far, I am beginning to suspect that 5-HTP actually has a negative effect on my dreaming. Certainly, the nights on which I've taken it have resulted in poor quality dreams of relatively short duration. I haven't detected any "REM rebound" whatsoever.

[Astrius]

Date: 5th Feb, 2008 Title: The physical reality of non-physical reality Lucidity: No Supplements: None Rating: 4 This dream took place in and around my town and included a number of conversations with various people about the nature of reality. Here are the four most memorable scenes: 1) I am talking with a childhood friend as we walk along the pier. I am explaining to her how everything is just energy and codes, like in The Matrix. I remember slapping a granite wall at this point, which felt so solid that I almost doubted my own words. 2) I am speaking with a fisherman on the harbour. There was a natural rock formation nearby which had a hairline crack in it. At this point I say something which sounded very scientific at the time, but I can't remember my precise words. It was something to the effect of "The space between the atoms in your hand mean that you should be able to put your fingers in that crack." Of course, he laughed, and tried to, but couldn't. 3) I am buying tinctures of liquid from a street seller, which are supposed to aid in lucid dreaming. We're discussing an OBE I had last year and I tell her that "once you've tasted this other reality, the physical world seems dull by comparison." At this point I look around and notice how cold and bland everything looks and wish that I were in this "other reality" right now. 4) I am walking along the street with a friend when he suddenly bumps into someone walking in the opposite direction. The impact was unrealistic, however (as if they'd been thrown together at 40mph). They both fell over and were bleeding in several places. The other guy even spat out some teeth! Comments: In the past I may have dismissed this dream as relatively mundane. Now that I am keeping a journal, however, and being more analytical, I can see that it was very much related to what I had been reading earlier in the day (the book by Thomas Yuschak). In fact, the dream seemed to be a demonstration of what he was saying (particularly the last scene). Specifically, he wrote: "The dream world can be every bit as mundane as the physical... Pain can exist in the dream world as well; both emotional and physical. Solid substances exist in the dream world; it is just that you have the ability to transcend them." (From chapter 21 of Advanced Lucid Dreaming).

[Astrius]

Date: 6th Feb, 2008 Title: Russian Train Station Lucidity: Partial (DILD) Supplements: 175mg EGCG (taken at bedtime) Rating: 5 This dream was notable for its gritty realism. A couple of mates and I were in Russia on some sort of trip or vacation. We're trying to find our way through a large train station when I suddenly notice that I can lift both my feet off the ground at the same time. I immediately say to my friends "hey, this must be a dream." However, even I could hardly believe it. My shock at being able to levitate was no less palpable than it would have been in waking reality (perhaps because I could remember everything that had taken place - within the dream - up to that point). In the next scene we're going down in an elevator and, again, I lift my feet off the floor and float around. I normally would have taken full control of the dream at this point and become fully lucid. Instead there was a sense of "I can't believe it, I can't believe this is a dream." As we emerge on the busy platform, people are coming up a flight of steps from below and I notice how every one of them is completely unique... their faces, their clothes. Men, women, children. I think by now I am awe-struck by the total realism of the scene. At this point one of my travel companions says: "If this is just a dream, go and kiss that girl over there." So I look to where he's pointing and see a very pretty woman, about 20 years old. Emotionally, however, I react to his dare as if it had been real life. "No way," I think to myself. The scene was simply too realistic for me to be absolutely certain that I was dreaming. Comments: Was it just a coincidence or was it the EGCG that led to this partially lucid experience? I need to experiment further. Certainly, if it does turn out to be the EGCG, I'll have to rename it EZPZ.

[Astrius]

Date: 7th Feb, 2008 Title: Bad Trip? Lucidity: No Supplements: 2000mg L-aspartic acid, 4000mg L-glutamine, 300mg L-theanine (taken after a few hours of sleep) Rating: 1.2 It's hard to remember any significant narrative from last night's dream fragments. There was something about spiders with human heads; a woman who was trying to seduce me, even though she was married with kids; and a Simpsons voice-over actor whose skin was yellow in real life! The general "feeling" I got from these dreams was a negative one. Comments: This particular Amino Blend (taken from a study by Thomas Yuschak) doesn't seem to suit me and I probably won't experiment with it again.

[Astrius]

Date: 8th Feb, 2008 Title: Med students get naked down on the farm Lucidity: No Supplements: 1 Dreamboost + 175mg EGCG (taken at bedtime) Rating: 2 I find myself as a student in some sort of medical college, running errands and sitting in class. We then go on vacation to a farm, where some of the students decide to walk around naked. I get into a heated debate about their right to do so with the owner of the farm, who insists that it's illegal. Stangely, we're not arguing face-to-face; someone is passing messages between us. Anyway, I tell her that it's private land and she makes the rules, not the government. I then notice one of the "city girls" from college sitting naked in the mud (like a pig). Everyone finds this particularly ironic, as at the start of the trip, she was the one teasing the locals for being so "rural." Comments: As usual, I can't see any connection between this dream and my waking life.

[Astrius]

Date: 9th Feb, 2008 Title: Al-m-ost th-e-re Lucidity: Yes Supplements: 4mg galantamine, 200mg choline (taken after four hours of sleep) Rating: 4.5 After finally getting back to sleep, I had an immediate false awakening in which - you guessed it - I went straight back to bed again. I then found myself in a building of some sort, hiding from a threat which existed further down the corridor. Guys with machine guns marched ahead to deal with it. I was vaguely aware that I was dreaming, so stood up and thought about how I could change the scene to something a little more sci-fi. My lucidity is somewhat higher in the next dream, where I float around town (at night) trying to converse with people. Comments: After my previous experience with galantamine/choline, I was expecting a lot from last night (and had been looking forward to it). There was no melatonin in this particular brand of capsules, however, which may have been the reason why it took me two hours to get back to sleep again (thus missing the estimated peak plasma levels of 1 hour). The lucidity I experienced was relatively brief and not as high as last time (maybe 65% as opposed to 95%). Anyway, I've just taken some piracetam, so I guess I'll try again in a few days.

[Astrius]

Date: 10th Feb, 2008 Title: Delaying the inevitable Lucidity: No Supplements: None Rating: 2 I'm having a deep conversation with someone about medicine and why we are so desperate to delay the inevitable. I say something like: "If you stand back from space and time, looking at things from a broader perspective, you'll see that it's all so pointless. Of course, I suppose it depends on whether you believe that this life is all there is, or whether you believe that we wear bodies like we wear coats." Comments: I actually seemed to be dreaming all night long, but the dreams were unusually boring and would be hard to journal. This was the most memorable scene.

[Astrius]

Date: 11th Feb, 2008 Title: Floatability Lucidity: No Supplements: 175mg EGCG (taken at bedtime) Rating: 4.8 I'm walking along a street near to where I live when I notice that I can lift both legs off the ground at the same time. So I float along for a bit, wondering if anyone can see me and what their reaction would be if they did. I then realise that I can control my speed as well, and begin experimenting with this. In the next scene, a friend and I are leaving someone's house. There are kids playing outside, so I show off by lifting my legs into the air in front of me. I then speak to my friend about taking a shortcut over the houses. "Grab on to me," I tell him. We then begin to float. "Higher, higher," I urge "if you believe you can, then you can." As we clear the rooftops, I notice seagulls gliding around in the sky. It looks pretty odd though, as some of the seagulls have a seagull perched on each wing (as passengers). I then tell my friend to fly for himself and push him away from me. Unfortunately, however, he falls to the ground like a stone. In a latter dream, I am summoned by a female psychic who claims that my late father is nearby. She says that he's waiting for my mother. So I tell her that my mother has also passed (which she has). There's a lot more to this dream, but the details elude me. Comments: The floating dreams felt very much like lucid dreams, only they weren't. I was surely closer to lucidity than usual though. And whilst I didn't think too much about the strange seagulls at the time, I now realise that they mirrored what I myself was doing (carrying a passenger). I woke up this morning feeling particularly refreshed and relaxed. This is the second time that taking EGCG (by itself) before bed has led to very pleasant, floaty, almost lucid dreams.

[Astrius]

Date: 12th Feb, 2008 Title: The Egyptian Estate Agent Lucidity: No Supplements: 175mg EGCG (taken at bedtime) + 600mg Alpha-GPC (taken after 4 hours of sleep) Rating: 2 Once again the EGCG led to a lot of "aerial movement" in the first half of the night. Specifically, I was in a helicopter piloted by an estate agent (apparently I was looking to buy property in Egypt). In one memorable scene, the helicopter spun around upon landing and it actually made me feel quite dizzy (within the dream). The alpha-gpc is supposed to extend dream length and I intend to use it with galantamine/choline soon (as recommended by Thomas Yuschak). I wanted to try it alone first, however, and in a small dose (if only as a precaution). The resulting dream was indeed long, although relatively boring (set in my own house and involving leaky roofs, cats and decorators).

[Astrius]

Date: 13th Feb, 2008 Title: Earth's Treasures Lucidity: No Supplements: None Rating: 1.5 I was shopping for art with my godmother. She chose a painting, and then the artist started working on it again (after she'd bought it), as if he wasn't quite happy with his own work. Afterwards we continue to browse around what appears to be an art district and I notice some driftwood for sale. At this point I express my hatred for ornaments and figurines. "I prefer Earth's Treasures," I explain, picking up a small piece of polished driftwood. Comments: A relatively dull and uneventful night.

[Astrius]

Date: 14th Feb, 2008 Title: The Experiment Lucidity: No Supplements: 100mg L-Theanine + peppermint tea (taken at bedtime) Rating: 4.8 This was one of those "nature of reality" type dreams that I sometimes have. I was with Mandie (an internet friend) and someone else, whose identity I forget. We were somewhere... or, rather, "somewhen" very strange. The feel of the dream was alien. A very important experiment was taking place. It's hard to relate it to modern concepts, but the two words I'd use to describe it would be technological and replication. The first experiment failed, apparently. A second attempt was then made. Visually, it looked like tiny cubes multiplying endlessly. Indeed, that was the goal of the experiment. The cubes were replicating themselves infinitely. The nature of reality itself began to change, however, which was not anticipated. I suddenly realised that I was in the past and, for a moment, everything made sense; I understood everything. We've been here before. In fact, the reality we're living was designed to make us forget what happened. It was the only solution. In the next scene, I am explaining what I knew to Mandie. The other person then interjected: "He lives off instincts more than evidence." Anyway, I ask her to close her eyes and imagine being pure awareness, nothing more. "You're aware of the blackness, and the silence, but that's all. This is who you are, the beginning." I then went on to explain it further... In order to overcome the incredible isolation and loneliness, you (we) had to divide yourself and then program those parts (genetically) to create diversity and desire. Memory had to be blocked, both from the source consciousness and from each conscious fragment (or else the game wouldn't work). Unfortunately, a noise outside woke me up as I'm explaining - although that probably aided in recall. Comments: The explanation I give in the dream does not come "out of nowhere," but is pretty much in line with my current thinking on the subject (ie. Oneness). It's only because we're temporarily "blocked off" from the apparent reality of "everyone else" that we are able to hurt "others" (ie. ourselves). In a dream we usually fail to remember our waking selves and our waking lives, yet those memories return to us upon awakening. This reflects how the greater reality works. On another level we have access to all memories (because there is one puppeteer and many puppets). And this is primarily the knowledge that "they" want to keep from us (they being a creation of the puppeteer itself, but one which has served its purpose and is rapidly coming to an end). Obviously, this understanding would shatter reality (in a positive sense), just as consciousness itself was shattered. From the dream I got the sense that the issue of "desire" is most significant. Whilst it's true that all earthly desire is illusory and programmed, it's obviously not for nothing that it exists (however seemingly trivial the desire). The source wants to experience pleasure and we are the "facilitating agents." That is, we are not here to repress or deny our desires, neither should we seek them to the detriment of others. Rather, we should be as interested in facilitating/fulfilling the unique desires of "others" as we are our own (because the "you and I" concept has no meaning at a higher level).

[Astrius]

Date: 15th Feb, 2008 Title: Doh! Lucidity: No Supplements: 4mg galantamine, 200mg choline, 300mg alpha-gpc (taken after 4 hours sleep) Rating: 2.5 I woke up repeatedly after taking this combo, each time returning to REM and complaining to dream characters that I'd forgotten to perform a reality check whilst dreaming. "If only I'd done a reality check," I'd say, not thinking to do one then and there. Comments: Galantamine has always worked before. Could the addition of alpha-gpc actually have scuppered this attempt?

[Astrius]

Date: 16th Feb, 2008 Title: The Wreckers Yard Lucidity: Yes (DILD) Supplements: 4000mg L-glutamine, 200mg L-theanine (taken at bedtime) Rating: 5.2 A number of dream characters and I were plotting to expose some sort of master criminal, who ran a wreckers yard. After much planning, we executed our mission, only to discover that we had been double-crossed and that the criminal mastermind was prepared for our assault. It was a case of every man for himself as our team dispersed and tried to flee his thugs. Escape is something I'm normally good at, so was surprised to find my efforts repeatedly blocked. I finally ran up to a huge, tank-like vehicle and got inside. Looking at the controls, I thought to myself "if this was a dream right now, I'd be able to switch this thing on and drive straight out of here." So I pressed a button and everything whirred into life. At this point I realised that I was dreaming and began to enjoy my escape.... rolling over and crushing anything that got in my way! In order to remain lucid, I kept repeating to myself "I am dreaming, I am dreaming, I am dreaming..." I also remember thinking, "wow this is FANTASTIC!" A while later our team had re-grouped. I was just standing there (in character) wondering whether or not I should tell them that this was all just a dream. Instead of speaking, however, I raised my legs in the air and levitated in front of them (I don't remember their reaction). I then kicked down a door and flew off into the sky like Superman. I eventually started to wonder what it would be like if I stopped "manifesting content," and so tried to clear my mind. As a result I found myself floating in a black void (which was not unpleasant in any way). I moved my arms in front of my face and marvelled at the colourful "vapour trail" that my movements left behind; a sort of foggy residue. Comments: I went to bed after watching an episode of DS9 in which the Dominion tricked Odo into believing that Gowron was a changeling. This resulted in Sisko leading a team to the Klingon Empire in order to expose Gowron. It was not Gowron who was the changeling, however, and the mission was almost a disasterous failure (although everything worked out well in the end, of course). Anyway, my dream seemed to be based on this, which is why I mention it.

[Astrius]

Date: 4th Dec, 2008 Title: The Infiltrator Lucidity: No Supplements: No I make my way to the top floor of a tall building, which seems to serve as a hideout for a handful of mavericks. The windows run from floor to ceiling and offer a spectacular view of the city below. An old school friend is there, although he still appears about 12 years old. He suddenly makes a claim about being able to levitate, which he demonstrates very briefly (and unimpressively). So, remembering that I can also levitate, I leap into the air and hang there in the fetal position. Then, as I slowly float back down, I hear someone in the room say "we've got one" and a black guy appears. My intuition tells me that the group has been infiltrated and that my demonstration was a little too impressive. In the next "scene," I find myself on a stairway in the same building, silent and motionless. Below me the black guy is opening and closing doors, angry and frustrated at my apparent disappearance. He then ascends the stairway himself, but not only does he not see me, he actually walks right through me, as if I were a ghost. At this point I conclude that in addition to levitation, I also have the power of invisibility.

[Astrius]

Date: 6th Dec, 2008 Title: Naked at the Beach Lucidity: Yes (WILD) Supplements: 1 Multi-vitamin, 50mg b6, 10mg Lutein, 200mg Bilberry, 200mg Blackberry, 500mg Grapeseed (taken at bedtime) I am outside, near my house, but it's daytime as opposed to night-time, and summer as opposed to winter. I am lucid, but don't really have the clarity to know whether I am dreaming or having an OBE. Either way, I am just happy to be free of the physical and immediately fly through a wall into a nearby house. A woman is pottering about in her living room and I fly right through her, evoking memories of my December 4th dream. I then fly into the sky and ponder what to do next. From such a height, I can see the local beach and decide to fly down. As I arrive on the sand, near a little dam that someone has made, I notice that I am naked (and need a pee), so I just do it right there. I am obviously a little confused about the physics of such an action, however, as I become concerned that the people on the beach (who I apparently assume are real) will suddenly see a stream of pee coming out of nowhere! So I quickly break the dam wall and pee into the resulting flood of seawater, hoping that no one will notice. Everything gets confusing at this point, although I retain lucidity for a while longer and interact with some of the people on the beach (both verbally and sexually)... Or, in the interests of word economy, let's just say "orally," which covers both aspects. Comments: I went to sleep trying to have an OBE, but instead had a lucid dream about having an OBE. I'm calling it a WILD, but it wasn't the most obvious WILD I've ever experienced (I think I blanked out for a time). It was also unusual in that I've never had a WILD immediately upon going to bed before - it has always been in the early morning hours. I don't believe the supplements had anything to do with it, however. With the exception of b6, I wasn't taking them for dreaming purposes.

[Astrius]

Date: 8th Dec, 2008 Title: Focus Lucidity: Yes, briefly (DILD) Supplements: No I am in my kitchen concentrating on a mundane task when I slowly begin to realise that I'm dreaming. Everything seems so "real," however, that I actually continue with the task for a while. There is some mental struggle for focus at this point, and I have to almost tell myself that it's pointless to continue with the chore. My clarity then increases and I leave the kitchen (via the wall) and take in the scene outside. I am quite amazed by how normal and realistic everything appears. But, alas, I then wake-up. Comments: Earlier in the day I'd been pondering on how I often miss becoming lucid during a dream because I am so engrossed in meaningless [dream] activities. So for the rest of the day I make a point of Reality Checking whenever I find myself concentrating particularly hard on something (however mundane). I feel that this is what led to the above lucidity, although I don't remember performing a Reality Check, as such, during the dream.

[Astrius]

Date: 10th Dec, 2008 Title: Who Left the Door Open? Lucidity: Yes, briefly (DILD) Supplements: No I appear to live in a large, warehouse apartment, at street level. It's daytime and there are lots of people inside; some sort of social gathering is taking place. I feel tired, however, and simply crash down on my bed, which is in the corner of the room, in full view of everyone. I "awake" feeling groggy. It's night-time now and everyone has left. Casually, I ask myself, "is this a dream?" (Just as I do in waking reality). I then begin a visual and tactile inspection of the environment (again, just as I do in waking reality). The sheets feel soft and warm. Standing up, my body feels heavy and sluggish. No, this isn't a dream, I conclude. Still though, I continue checking. I put my hand on the wall and push against it - solid as a rock! I can even feel the imperfections in the plaster. Nevertheless, I sense that something isn't quite right. I think hard and can recall details from the previous "day" (which I actually believe to be my life, rather than part of the dream). "It would be amazing if this WAS a dream," I think to myself, looking around at the perfectly solid and stable environment. I then notice that the front door is ajar and feel annoyed that someone had left it open. As I go to close it, I see two youths running toward me from across the street. I get the sense that they are "coming back," after perhaps having already stolen some items from my apartment. I try to close the door, but they push up against it and a struggle ensues. At some point during this I realise that I am dreaming, after all, and yank one of the youths inside. I'm not sure what I intend to do with him, but I awake (for real) at this point and am frankly shocked to find myself back in "this life" (of which I had no memory during the dream itself). Comments: Had I not woken from this dream, I'd never have missed anything or anyone from my "real life," because I had no memory of my real life (even though certain habits did admittedly carry over). This has got me thinking about why Reality Checks are so inefficient. Perhaps the dream itself is significant, posing as it does the question of WHO leaves the door open? ...The door, of course, being the door in one's mind through which one moves between realities. Q. Why Are Reality Checks Fundamentally Flawed? A. Because we're trying to apply waking notions of time, memory and self to a reality in which none of these things are particularly relevant. For example, someone can remember to perform RC's every ten minutes during the day, but then "forget" to perform a single one during a whole night of dreaming. Of course, it's not so much that they've forgotten. They've simply been removed from the linear way in which we experience time, along with the transient "self" that only ever exists at a specific point in time (in this case, the self that is constantly performing RC's). We can only hope, therefore, that our daily RC's make some impression on the subconscious, leading us to question our reality during a dream. Even when this works, however, we don't seem to be posing the right questions. I mean, there's little point in asking "Am I dreaming?" if one doesn't remember who "I" is or why "I" even cares. How many of us have successfully used a RC within a dream, only to forget the things that we wanted to try or accomplish? Show Me Your Papers! Should we not therefore shift the emphasis from RC to IC (Identity Check)? After all, it's the "you" here and now - in this specific time and place - who seeks lucidity. In the above mentioned dream, I should have known instantly that I was dreaming, because it wasn't my bed... or my house! Just like the transient "I", however, "my bed" and "my house" point to a very specific moment in time-space. For all I know, that may indeed have been "my apartment," either from the future or from a different lifetime entirely. So the question of "Am I dreaming" is not nearly as important as "Who Am I?" With this in mind, I would suggest verifying one's own ID throughout the day, either using a literal ID card (if you have one) or a piece of paper with Name, Address and Age upon it (perhaps including a photo as well). This would also serve as a RC, in that viewing your ID would involve checking the text itself for anomalies. Every time you do this you'll be "anchoring" your mind to the "present" version of yourself (the one who wants to lucid dream), hammering that ID into memory, and helping you to answer the question of "Who Am I" during a dream. The eventual goal here is to make it obvious that one is dreaming, not necessarily by performing a RC (or even an IC) within the dream itself, but by keeping a firm and perpetual grip on the fragile "I" who only exists here and now. After all, isn't "losing oneself in a dream" the fundamental reason for our unquestioning acceptance of whatever is presented, however bizarre? Unfortunately, both RC's and IC's are flawed in that the dreaming "I" (who needs to "remember") is not the same "I" that intends to remember. The "intending I" is a tiny speck compared to the totality of the "I" that is you. Nevertheless, the combination of RC and IC should be significantly more effective than RC alone.

[Astrius]

Date: 14th Dec, 2008 Title: Look Mum, No Hands! Lucidity: Yes, briefly (3 DILDS) Supplements: No It's a sunny day and I'm lying in the back garden of my childhood home, watching aeroplanes in the sky. In the background I can hear my mother talking to the next-door neighbour. He's helping her to arrange a new telephone number. I then move to the kitchen and am sitting at the table with pen and paper. "So what's the new number?" I ask. "Seven, double-one, fourteen," replies my mother, which I duly begin to write down. "So it's seven, triple one, four." I say, for clarification. But when my mother repeats it again, it's only a four-digit number: seven, one, one, four. "It must be more than four digits!" I insist, getting frustrated... at which point I realise the nonsense of these numbers and that I'm dreaming. My mother is now sitting at the table as well, so I say to her, "It doesn't matter, because this is just a dream. You could jump out of the window and fly if you wanted to." To demonstrate the point, I raise my legs to my chest and levitate. However, my mother looks really disturbed by this and I wake-up. Comments: I go on to have two more LD's during the night, both very brief. So whilst I'm pleased to have had three lucid dreams in one night, I don't understand why they ended so quickly. I certainly didn't experience any extreme emotions.

[Astrius]

Date: 15th Dec, 2008 Lucidity: Yes (2 DILDS) Supplements: No Goals for the night: I had been reading during the day that it's possible to make verbal requests of the dream itself, whilst lucid. So, after last night's premature exits, I wondered if the dream could grant me perpetual lucidity (basically, until I chose to leave). I had also been reading about how belief and expectation affects one's lucid experience. So, again, focused on my main goal of extended lucidity, I decided to seek or manifest a "magic" glowing blue wristband in my next LD... And convince myself that I would remain lucid for as long as I wore it. DILD I - Not Exactly What I Was Looking For I am engrossed in quite a lengthy [regular] dream. Whilst I can't remember the precise plot, the story eventually places me in the lobby of a large, hi-tech building, part of which serves as a hospital, I believe. Commander Riker is there (from Star Trek) and there is a profound sense of anticipation. Suddenly, he mutters something into his communications badge and all hell breaks loose. Sirens immediately go off and masked, futuristic security guards appear, as if from nowhere, blocking me in. I get the sense that whilst the kerfuffle is not "about" me, I am nevertheless a civilian who needs to be held back. Anyway, feeling frustrated, I ponder what I would do if this were a dream... at which point I realise that it is a dream! Remembering what I had read about belief and expectation, I decide to "believe" myself to be a member of staff. And, at once, the security guards stand aside and let me pass. For some reason, at this point, I decide to continue my "mission" within the dream story, which involves getting to a particular room on one of the floors above. At the same time, however, I am remembering my goals for the night and duly announce to the dream "I want to remain lucid until I choose to leave" (or words to that effect). There is no response. As I'm running through the building, I wonder where I'm going to find a glowing blue wristband, with which I can imbue (through the power of belief) the ability to keep me lucid for as long as I am wearing it. Shortly afterwards I spot a wooden cabinet and think to myself, "If I expect this cabinet to contain a blue wristband, then it surely will." So I open the cabinet door and find it to be largely filled with junk. Poking out from one of the boxes, however, is something blue. So I pull it out and, sure enough, it's some sort of wristband. It's made of rubber, however, and is perhaps used to identify patients. I grab it, nevertheless, and continue running through the building whilst simultaneously trying to put it on (it's like a cheap watch, with a metal post that goes into a hole). Shortly after I manage to fasten it to my wrist, however, the dream fades and I wake-up. DILD II - Premature Ejection I am wandering somewhat aimlessly around a train station. Bored, I decide to board a train and go to the city. So I'm sitting there staring at someone's bag in front of me. It has a black zipper which is gently vibrating in harmony with the engine. I then hear what sound like gear shifts. "What?!" I think to myself, suddenly realising that I'm actually on a bus, even though I boarded a train... "This must be a dream." I remain perfectly still, marvelling at the detail of the bags in front of me, complete with scuff marks and various imperfections. I briefly consider repeating my previous experiments, but feel that I can extend the dream simply by not interfering with it too much. So I just sit there for a while, continuing the journey. There's a baseball cap nearby, so I put it on, thinking "as long as I'm wearing this cap, I'll remain lucid." I then stand up and look at all the various people on the bus (some of whom I remember boarding with). I notice that there are some attractive females present and I can't help but engage them (sexually). In retrospect, of course, I wish I had simply probed them for information about who they thought they were and where they thought they were going. Sexual activity often leads to "premature ejection" (from the dream), as it did in this case. Comments: I am pleased to be extending the length of my LD's, even though the experiments themselves weren't very effective on this occasion. I still think that the concept of a "lucidity device" (within the dream itself) is promising, however. Looking back at my dream of February 1st, the imaginary "craft" gave me the speed and manoeuvrability of flight that I lacked without it (because I believed in the technology of such a thing). A lucidity device is obviously more difficult to utilise (not least because there is no cultural reference for it, not even from the world of science-fiction). This makes believing in the ability of such a device that much harder. There is also the issue of the physical body's need to awaken, which I assume would trump any fictional device within the lucid dream. Nevertheless, I suspect that this technique (the belief in lucid technology) could be used to extend a LD, although perhaps not indefinitely.