Thread: Passing Strange

*Irritating Author's Note to Prolong the Moment Intolerably*

So yeah - suddenly my writing is all archaic and shit huh? Lol inorite?

But it's fun, and I figure it demonstrates that everyone is being affected by the inimical influence of the place - including the author! Heh, well that and it's fun.

I'm keeping it in this section as it does seem somewhat appropriate, considering the Dante influence. Later if I decide it's too cheezy I'll change it.

But anyway yeh..

OH EM GEE!! No DeMonica!! Don't do it!!

*Second Irritating Note, To Draw Out the Moment Even More!*

I learned a little trick from Breaking Bad that I notice I'm using a lot in this. I learned it from the part where Tucco had Walt and Jessie out in the Mexican desert - specifically the episode that began with them trapped in the trunk of Jessies low rider bouncing up and down via the air shocks - I believe that's the same episode where they kill Tucco.

What I learned from it is to really draw out the tension leading up to violence. Squeeze it dramatically for everything it's worth.

Then you may or may not deliver the promised violence - sometimes it's best not to, to keep the viewers/readers onthe edge of their seat even longer, or deny them release.

But if you do deliver violence - draw that out as well. I remember the fight when Tucco finally started pounding on Jessie after threatening to for so long - it wasn't just two or three punches and then Jessie laying on the ground hurt - it went on and on like an extended orgasm that never seems like it's going to end.

And then - after drawing out the lead-up and the violence - draw out the aftermath as well. Stage a scene right there in the same spot, everything in it now upended and destroyed by the tumult, and every glimpse of it serving as a reminder.

Heh oh yeah - I also learned to draw out the tension before a violent scene almost intolerably from Breaking Bad.

Did I mention that yet?

"People!! What's happening!!??!! Somebody clue me in here!!"

Diddy is understandably upset. From the corner of my eye it seems something is going wrong back there.. Muffin is starting to curve or tilt or something and little Sera wrestling to maintain control - it doesn't look good.

But now all my attention is on DeMonica racing ahead heedless toward that beautiful forest.

She doesn't seem to have noticed what I have - that the trees are unnaturally shaped - twisted and distorted - until it seems they possess almost human features.

All of them.

In fact as if they once were human, but by some evil agency their feet took root here in this rich soil and their bodies lengthened and thickened and grew twisted and their skin coarsened and became scabrous as like the bark of the trees, and their arms clutching greedily skyward toward fresh air and sunshine, and from their flanks grew manifold branches and from the branches leaves and then they here forevermore did reside.

That's what I'm thinkin' anyway.

Judging from the rest of what we've seen here.

But on she runs, overcome with joy, to sweep into that forest. It's hard to blame her really, considering all we've been through here, and how heavily the torments of the damned seem to have weighed on her. I can imagine she'd be powerfully tempted to run headlong into this sweet wood and disappear there forever - perhaps even at cost of becoming one with it - forever. And then it occurs to me..

Perhaps she has noticed the trees.

And still she plunges ahead.


.. and perhaps she's not wrong.

Ok - getting hungry here. Time to pack the dog in the car and hit the TacoBell drivethrough.

See ya in a few...

The story really takes its own plot as it develops. A cathartic experience, breaking through internal blocks, it really sounds like a dream but at the same time it goes with the reader's thoughts and fears... Very strange, wild, crazy, and liberating. Thank you.

Ah thank you as well!

A cathartic experience, breaking through internal blocks, it really sounds like a dream but at the same time it goes with the reader's thoughts and fears... Very strange, wild, crazy, and liberating. Thank you.

This is the best thing I've heard in a long time! Actually I think it's the best thing anyone's ever said about ANY of my work period!! I want to print it out on parchment and hang it on a plaque on my wall!


Oh, and it's definitely going on the front cover of the mass-media paperback!

It really has taken on a strong plot, hasn't it? I think that's what accounts for the drastic change between the earlier more surreal chapters and the later ones which have developed a strong forward linear progression.

I think the change really happened right around chapter 5, which is when I stopped and at last thought about what needs to happen in order to pull all the elements together by story's end.

I also think it explains why it lost a lot of the early dreamlike feeling.

Heh, I tried, I really did, after Oneironaut's suggestion, to bring back that dreamlike feeling (and suddenly the song Bring Back That Lovin' Feeling" is stuck in my head now! ) - but I think I was only partially successful in it. True, I think I've created some powerful dreamlike environments in recent chapters - with a great sense of atmosphere, but I think the strong forward progression of the storyline kills any real sense of surrealism it had in the first few chapters, which were much more disjointed and free-flowing.

Oh well, I'm cool with that! I find myself really caught up in the story and breathless to see where it takes the characters next (yes, writers get this too ). So while it lost the sense of being a bunch of dream segments linked loosely together it at the same time picked up a powerful dramatic throughline like nothing I've ever written before has had. This is very exciting to me!!

During the last 5 years, as I concentrated on learning stopmotion and all the related skills to accomplish it, I focused strongly on story - reading every book I could lay my hands on about it, from Aristotle's Poetics to Robert McKee's acclaimed Story to John Truby's Anatomy of Story and many others - accumulating a stack of them probably literally 4 feet tall by now! And I absorbed them all, let them percolate and simmer in my mind, and now I find some of it seems to have taken root. Honestly I'm surprised at how compelling the story seems (to me at least) and at the depth the main characters are developing (something else I've never accomplished before).

Lol sorry - now you see how dangrous it is to make a small complimentary comment to a writer! It tends to send him off on lengthy diatribes and explanations.

But meanwhile - I've written a bit more. This is getting to the real nitty-gritty now..

It's then I hear a heavy crunching and rhythmic pounding from the forest, as of some heavy-bodied animal running through undergrowth.

It's drawing nearer.

DeMonica hears it too, and freezes to the spot. In an instant her bow is drawn with arrow knocked, its tip scanning slowly across the expanse of trees ahead for any sign of danger.

The crashing and drumming of hooves continues and I catch glimpses of something large moving between trees. Something very large, but streamlined and quite graceful.

It stops near the edge of the wood, and at last we can see it fully.

It's some sort of huge sleek ruminant - brown-furred on upper parts and ivory underneath - something like a monstrous stag. It has high shoulders and a very low rear end with short thick hind legs. Its neck is long and powerful, tapering to a pointed head supporting an incredible rack of antlers spreading to perhaps 8 feet and displaying a dizzying number of lethal points. It's actually very difficult to imagine this creature running gracefully through the forest, but obviously that's exactly what it does, and at great speed.

It spies us and for a moment rises on its thick hind legs, towering a good 8 feet to the top of its triangular head, probably 12 feet counting the antlers. It has a broad barrel chest tapering rapidly to a slim waist and narrow hips. The front legs are actually arms, long and slender but powerful, and ending in strange clubbed 3-fingered hands bearing thick hooflike pads on the backs of the knuckles.

The hands open and close nervously as it stares at us, standing immobilely. I see the fingers are short and stubby, but quite flexible. I also see it's wearing a thick black leather harness covering its shoulders and upper chest, which is heavily studded with large rectangular blocks of metal and to which is somehow affixed a short brutal axe like something straight out of a Frazetta painting.

For a moment frozen in time the stag creature and DeMonica stand like statues, her arrow locked on its breast and drawn back lethally.

Then it drops to the ground, its small head remaining smoothly upright with uncanny precision and always oriented exactly on DeMonica. As it does I notice it clenches the strange clubbed hands into fists, rendering them effectively into hooves with which it strikes the ground.

Instantly it's in motion, charging silently and with alarming speed directly at her, perhaps a hundred yards away. It begins to shake its head wildly, causing the antlers to swing and toss dangerously.

Her arrow flies, followed immediately by several more. The first one clashes against the thick array of antlers and goes harmlessly clattering off to land in the grass. Another does the same, then two get past only to strike the metal-studded shoulder harness and fall away also.

And then it's upon her.


She hurls the useless bow away behind, flashes out instantly with Rapier and Main Gauche, but those light fencing weapons are instantly deflected by the massive power of the onrushing beast and fly from her hands as her body is lifted easily off the ground and tossed some dozen yards into the air, arcing over me and landing somewhere behind me with a sickening thump.

Now the massive creature again rears up on short hind legs, snorting loudly twice and then unleashing a terrifying roar. Its head swings to encompass both me and Xey, now running toward it on opposite sides. He apparently has the same strategy as I, to separate and force it to choose one opponent, offering the other some slim chance at wounding the monster in its flank.

DeMonica's Main Gauche has fallen just before me - I bend and take it up, shuddering at the scant protection such a small weapon affords against that things' immense power and those fearsomely pointed antlers, like a whole clutch of swords descending at once.

Xey takes up the Rapier.

And then the beast drops and wheels toward Xey in full charge.

*Author's Next Damn Note*

The original concept for this creature stemmed from this thought - I want to see DeMonica fight something using her swords.

We've seen the arrow-work, and it's awesome, but I wanted to see her draw both swords and tangle with some fell beast.

So - what kind of monster would use a sword? I realized it would have to be something vaguely human in form, and immediately thought Minotaur (which is one of the creatures patrolling Dante's vision of Hell). But the whole bull-head thing is so played out! So I wanted to spice it up a little, maybe go for something graceful and sleek rather than brutal and heavy. And I thought of a stag-minotaur.

Which immediately reverbrated deeply with the rest of the story, considering the goddess Diana is usually associated with a Stag - I believe she commonly hunted them as well as of course the famous story where she turned a voyeuristic hunter into a stag and set his own hunting dogs upon him to tear him apart and devour him. But in this case rather than it being entirely at her mercy, the tables are turned.

Originally I wanted him to carry a huge broadsword, so heavy it would quickly break her small swords or knock them from her grasp. Which also immediately suggested just how these patrolling stag-creatures torment and punish the transformed tree-people. But then I saw the image of her attempting to stand, both swords in hand, as the giant creature charges down upon her with all the points of its mighty rack arrayed against her like a whole battalion of swords. And thus was born the creature.

.. And can I just say real quick - damn it's good to FINALLY see my character do something heroic!!! Brings tears to my eyes! I'm tired of him being such a pathetic little wuss, just going along here and there and everywhere and doing what he's told.

Yay me-dude!!

Yeah it is weird being associated with a character. I think I was more afraid for DeMonica in that last part than most people. I thought you were going to kill her already, maybe you did. She was thrown pretty far...

I keep worrying that I'm going to say something in other threads that you'll read and it will change your impression of me, so you'll wish you had based the character on someone else or had made her different.

Fear not MiLady DeMonica!

Your character is fully set in my head now. IN fact sometimes I have trouble telling the real you from her! (I actually started to write Dianeva a couple times in the story!)

Although now that you mention it - yes... probably best not to divulge anything of a sensitive nature until the story is done!

I think I was more afraid for DeMonica in that last part than most people. I thought you were going to kill her already, maybe you did. She was thrown pretty far...

And OH HELL YES!!!



I'm terrified for you! -- I mean HER!

But then, it seems all of us are in mortal peril as well...

Xey stands before the terrifying charge, legs spread wide and sword held before him as if to ward something off - no fencer he. I redouble my speed, running full blast straight at the creature's flank as it bears down upon him.

A voice rises up from somewhere - a savage scream of pure unleashed fury in a completely unfamiliar voice that I begin to realize is my own, and without thinking I draw back my arm and hurl the Main Gauche with all my power.

By some miracle it strikes the creature's heaving flank, strikes point first and sticks!

The beast wheels, swings its heavily armed head my way, and snorts again, batting at the small sting in its side and knocking it out onto the ground, where a moment later its hooves crush it down into the dirt as it now rushes directly at me.

But Xey leaps forward - lunges in a moment of acrobatic excellence like he hasn't displayed since chapter 10 - and half buries the Rapier in the monster's other flank.

It screams, stands full height for a moment, and pulls the hefty short axe from its harness in one hand, then spins toward Xey and smites him with it full across the chest and upper body.

His slight frame crumples and flies away from the force of the smashing blow - blood beginning already to well up from his shoulder, showing through a ragged tear in his too-small jacket sleeve.

I'm hearing unintelligible shouting from behind me - King Diddy - and there's some kind of tumult taking place there. From that direction I suddenly see little Serafiend running fleetly toward the beast, who is now turning toward me, the Rapier hanging from his side and bobbing to and fro with with his every movement.

"GrynHavoc! Stay your hand!" Sera cries, eating up the distance in deceptive strides.

"Do not harm these people. They yet live, and are not here to suffer punishment or torment, but are merely passing through. Let them pass or face my wrath!"

Bravely the tiny 10 year old girl steps before the maddened beast and holds her ground.

Now the fearsomely beweaponed head swings from me to Sera and he charges her at full gallop - transfixes her on half a dozen points at once, and rears up roaring terribly with the squirming girl still impaled on his great broad rack. Snorting, howling, flecks of foam spraying now from his mouth and beginning to take on the red tint of his blood, the creature rears again, smashes himself down to the ground on all fours, and begins leaping and bucking terrifically, swinging his head with terrible violence in the attempt to dislodge her poor broken body from his armament.

Off she flies in a moment, hurled with great force. Gobbets and streamers of red blood accompany her limp body as it flies like a rag doll and drops, dashed against the earth some distance away - at least a hundred feet I'd say.

And then the beast turns once again to me.

Rises up into his most fearsome aspect and roars like to rattle the very trees, his round expressionless black eyes locked on mine.

I'm frozen to the spot with terror, fully aware that my death looms down upon me.

Then a single clear shout rings out behind me - one word - one single syllable - and an arrow stands suddenly half-buried in that ivory colored breast.

Heedless, the creature drops and begins its fatal charge, but in two steps one of its front legs folds and it falls into a skid that drives the arrow deeper into its chest - then the strength of the great tapering neck gives out and the spreading rack of antlers tips down - strikes the ground and digs in at multiple points - and flips the sleek body up and over the top to crash down on me.

Fortunately it strikes me only a glancing blow on the side of my body and merely knocks me sprawling - else it had surely crushed the life from me.

And now the beast lay dying before me - not 4 feet away - heaving and snorting terribly and covered in a sheen of heavy sweat.

The foam spraying with each snort from its muzzle is stained deep red - red with its very lifeblood.

Stunned - dazzled - unable to think for some moments, I slowly gain my feet and turn to survey the field behind me.

There lie several crumpled bodies in spreading pools of blood, but there also is movement. Zombie_Muffin still pulls the sledge to which is tied King Diddy, the whole sledge tilted riotously to one side such that poor King Diddy is almost upside-down beneath it, and holding one trembling arm extended with DeMonica's bow held in his grip - held horizontally due to close proximity with the ground - still aimed at the spot where a moment ago the great beast stood, but slowly sagging now that its work is done.

Now he drops it and collapses, arms drooping onto the ground, and the sledge flops completely upside-down - Zombie_Muffin going in circles because her shoulders are tilted at an awkward angle forcing her motion into a tight curve.

Twice now I was unable to supress a dramatic "oh shit!", and I haven't even finished reading the whole page...

Good then - it's not just me.

Thank you so much!

But now, I fear I've dragged these poor people through just about the limit of what's humanly tolerable - just in this chapter alone!! I get exhausted just thinking back over it all! And I can't end the chapter till we meet the title character!

But I think it's time for a little rest and reconnoiter before we begin the big push toward the climax of the story (all this was merely the climax of the traveling/ Inferno section! )

*Author's Commentary Track Again*

Ever since I read The Hobbit/ Lord of the Rings in high school (which instantly became my favorite work of literature and is still quite high on the list) I've wanted to do my own traveling story.

I loved the way Tolkein described the traveling - on foot or sometimes horseback, the band of travelers moves through ever-changing landscape - ahead of them they see small things that loom larger chapter by chapter (mountains, rivers, villages, what-have-you) until they arrive there and confront them head on, and later they might look back and see the terrain they've already crossed laid out behind them, rendered tiny and toylike by distance.

I had no idea when I started that I would be able to do that here!!

But it happened, quite unexpectedly. And I'll admit - when I started them on their voyage from the Castle, I had no idea it would last through so many chapters!! But I take each chapter as it comes and deal with whatever it throws my way word by word, slowly building this story like an organic thing - each part affects the parts immediately after it, so the way you string words together as you write determines much of what's to follow. It's quite exciting really. Like laying down a yellow brick road brick by brick and every once in a while looking up to see where you are.

Even though I have a rough outline, and as I lay in bed each night, and as I walk the dog each day I daydream incessantly plotting how each section will work, I still find surprises when I actually sit down here and start laying out the words one after another.

And that's the part I love the most.

Xey is beginning to stir and is nearest to me, so I go to him first. Fortunately he had been struck mostly with the flat of the axe and its haft across his chest, absorbing most of the impact, so that the gash across his shoulder is shallow and not too serious, though his ribcage is grievously bruised - possibly a few ribs broken.

I help him struggle to his feet, groaning horrendously, and together we limp to where DeMonica lies, blood pooling rapidly around her body.

Her condition is far more serious. Her flesh is pierced in many places - two large tears in her exposed right thigh, one of which is bleeding profusely and I fear may be arterial, one in the left thigh, a long shallow slash across her abdomen, several puncture wounds on her bare right arm, and a deep dent in the breastplate that would definitely have been fatal had she not been wearing it.

We immediately stop Zombie_Muffin and wrap her leash around a small sapling standing nearby and tear strips of blanket to begin patching up DeMonica's wounds as best we can after rinsing them with water from the jugs that she threw to the ground immediately upon hearing the creature crashing through the woods.

Even when tightly bandaged the wound high and inside on her right thigh bleeds unstoppably, quickly soaking the bandage and seeping out down her leg and into her thigh high boot.

She recovers consciousness as we're patching her up and to her everlasting credit emits not a single groan or moan, but her jaw is set tightly and her face is shockingly pale and blanched, and we fear without medical attention she won't last long.

"So - everybody make it?" comes a lilting voice nearby.

Sera! We had been so preoccupied with bandaging up our own that we hadn't even checked on the little demon child. I must admit I assumed she was dead after seeing her pierced body flung so incredibly far and smashed against the ground so powerfully.

"Yeah, I've had worse." She says nonchalantly, dusting off her black hoodie. "Mutant healing abilities, remember?"

"Well - wasn't I the lucky one - " Diddy muses as he unties himself from the palette, apparently tired of hanging uncomfortably underneath it in its upside-down condition. "I wasn't even hurt!"

"Yeah, but you're the hero of the day." I remind him. "You saved us all! Nice touch by the way, invoking the name of O just as you let fly the arrow!"

"TOUCH!??" he cries, amazed. "That was no theatrics my boy - and after all I got the idea from you!"

In response to my quizzical look he explains.

"You really don't know, do you? Heh, you were a bit incoherent at the time, all growly and gutteral like you had no idea what you were saying... but it was you who shouted O Holy Knight just as you threw the dagger and pierced the creature's side."

".. REALLY!!??! I said that?"

"Oh yes!"

"So.. " Xey cuts in. " 'owdja do it anyway then mate? Get ahold of the bow and an arrow I mean? bein' as you were strapped behind the zombie and all at the time... "

"Heh - well, I found that by leaning hard - hard enough to physically tilt the sledge, I could force her into a tight turn. When DeMonica threw down the bow I was already headed that way and I just picked it up as she dragged me past - no idea why at the time really. Probably just OCD and wanting to clean the battlefield while the fight was still in progress!

"But then when DeMonica fell I tuned Muffin toward her to see if there was anything I could do to help her. Of course the problem with that plan was that I had no brakes - I could steer but not stop! So instead as she dragged me past I thought to grab a handful of arrows out of her quiver. I'm no archer of course - hell, as weak as I am now I could barely hold the bow at full extension, but as soon as I shouted O's name it seemed to help. I was somehow able to actually draw it back a lot farther than I expected, and for just a moment my arm stopped shaking and I just knew when I let loose that it would find its mark."

"Ok folks," Sera cuts in. "this is all well and good and all, but we'd better be on our way. We need to get her some help."

She has picked up the hefty battle axe from the ground next to the fallen monster and hands it to me. She started to offer it to Xey first, but he shrank from it as from a striking viper - not surprising I suppose after the damage it did to him. So I thrust the shaft of it into my belt. It was small in the hand of that monster, but will be quite a heavy weapon for me to wield.

Soon we're underway again - a sad sight now. Diddy once again secured, his palette now upright - Sera leading Zombie_Muffin, and Xey and I struggling to hold DeMonica upright between us as we all limp painfully.

In this fashion we make a good 200 yards before another of the stag creatures bursts from the wood, running in a long curving arc toward us and brandishing a heavy broadsword.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

.. And can I just say real quick - damn it's good to FINALLY see my character do something heroic!!! Brings tears to my eyes! I'm tired of him being such a pathetic little wuss, just going along here and there and everywhere and doing what he's told.

Yay me-dude!!

Yeeeeeeees! I'd like to see your character more explicitly in the following chapters, because it connects all the untamable, overbold, and shameless personages and their actions in a logical and coherent storyline. Please,do animate your character a bit more, it will be exciting as the climax is comming.

Impressive.

You seem to have very good judgement concerning these matters. Just recently I came to the conclusion that my character serves a valuable story purpose by grounding these "untamable, overbold, and shameless personages" as you so succinctly put it (or what I would refer to as "powerful sexual personae"). I think if my narrator/character were also bold and assertive it would bee too much - resulting in little more than an endless tug-of-war on a large playground.

But instead he's more of an observer in this world filled with these brazen and aggressive characters, allowing the readers to safely experience them. At least that's how I see it.

But yes, now that he's been through hell (as we all have) and forged in its fires, he has reason to stand up for himself and not be taken advantage of by the powerful females. Not that he's really been 'taken advantage of' yet really, but I suppose pushed around by them. Or maybe I should say at their mercy thanks to this weird overwhelming sexual excitement that has its way with him here.

I don't want him to be needlessly assertive even now - but when the need arises I want him to stand up for himself against them. Physically - well in terms of battle-damage anyway - my character is the least wounded of the entire party - and yet he's been brutally blueballed from the very beginning and denied relief and release, and battered beaten and bruised where it really hurts. Wow, it tickles me to no end to be able to write that!

And I could not have said this better myself: "as the climax is comming."

You have quite a way with words yourself.

"Ah SHIT!" Xey hisses.

DeMonica instantly has her bow drawn and knocked, and only Sera's raised hand stops her from loosing immediately.

But this one is acting differently - it isn't charging or rearing to intimidate us - rather it seems nervous or frightened or upset. It runs to and fro rapidly in short sweeping arcs, not looking at us but peering around as if unsure what to focus on.

Occasionally it stops and rears partially, lifting its long powerful front legs and batting the hoof/hands against the ground repeatedly.

"So_Mee!" Sera calls out to it. "Go back to the forest. You can do nothing now to save your brother GrynHavoc. He attacked us, and he paid the price. Don't follow in his footsteps. Go instead and gather up his body - drag it into the forest and burn it on a glorious pyre. There need be no more killing here this day."

The creature seems not to hear at all - just keeps prancing back and forth and stopping to rear up and stomp its forehooves on the ground. It keeps snorting and stomping and darting its short triangular head thither and yon.

Then suddenly it wheels, rears high for a moment, and trots back into the forest to disappear from our sight.

"Damn." Sera bursts. "We really coulda used that sword. Though the only one among us who could wield it effectively is grievously wounded. Ah well."

As we limp on the forest gives way to another cliff face rising on our right which once again begins to edge us back toward the trench housing the embattled giants. Soon we're again exposed to the frightening tumult of titanic noises rising from the trench, and walking along a narrow ledge no more than maybe 10 feet wide and narrowing to less than 5 in places.

Noticing how much blood DeMonica is losing into her boot I decide to try direct pressure and place my hand against the blood-soaked bandage wrapped around her uppermost thigh.

She quickly knocks my hand aside and shoots me an angry grimace - so Xey and I switch sides and he applies pressure to the wound instead. This she allows.

Suddenly Sera stops and bends low, scoops up two big handfuls of the grey-brown dirt.

"Pick up some dirt, those of you who can." She urges. Keep it in hand - we'll need it quite soon." I fill each hand and Xey fills his unoccupied one. Diddy also reaches out and scoops some up from the ground as it passes beneath him.

"We're almost to Sleeper's lair now." Sera announces. "Tell me - this item you're looking for - is it valuable?"

Diddy snorts with derisive laughter.

"Hah! Hardly! Not to anyone but me anyway."

"Ok then, that means Sleeper won't have it - but I know who will - down below. We'll require Sleeper's help to get there."

We round a bend to find a strange and unnerving creature blocking our passage.

"DV Watchdog" Sera introduces. "Nobody remembers what DV means, but that's it's name."

It's actually more of a large, heavy-bodied worm as thick as a man's torso laying on the ground - stretched out over about a nine foot length of ledge. It has a pair of short weak-looking legs at both ends - not supporting its weight but simply laying on the ground beside it - and the end facing us is split into three thick necks, each ending in a viciously snarling canine head like that of some fearsome attack dog - all 3 slavering and growling and snapping appallingly at us. All three long necks are attached by short chains to huge rings in the cliff wall.

"Good doggie!" Sera calls, then throws both handfuls of dirt simultaneously into it's array of faces, causing two of them to draw back rapidly and begin choking and shaking violently from side to side in an attempt to clear the dirt from it's eyes and mouth.

Catching on, Xey and I both throw our handfuls of dirt, disabling the final head.

"Hello??!! What's going on up there? Come on people - talk to me!" Diddy calls out in a bit of a panic.

Sera snatches several lengths of sausage from the rope slung over my shoulder and deftly inserts a few into each mouth. All 3 heads start convulsively chewing and swallowing, and Sera leads us past it close against the rugged cliff face and into a large cave opening. I glance back as Diddy is dragged past the monstrous watchdog to see him give a triumphant laugh and throw his handfuls of dirt uselessly at it. Makes me smile.

Inside is a natural cavern, nearly the size and shape of the Grand Ballroom where Queen Neener had staged her feast. The entire floor is scattered with several inches of coins - gold, silver, brass, bronze, copper - every kind imaginable, plus all kinds of precious metal jewelry and trinkets - small candelholders, statuettes, cups and the like - all glittering and piled haphazardly such that it's impossible to walk without stepping on treasure. Toward the center of the chamber it's piled high, culminating in a mound as high as my head and many spans across - a miniature mountain of riches gathered apparently from all across the land.

And atop the pile - sleeping there - lay a bright blue Aardvaark.

"Lady and gentlemen," Serafiend waves an arm theatrically at the colorful anteater, "I give you Raspy_Sleeper!"

*COMMENTARY*

Damn!! FINALLY!! We reach the end of chapter 15!! Wow, is it just me, or did this one seem to go on forever!??

Lol that would be because I rather boldly (or perhaps foolishly?) named it Sleeper assuming I'd be able to get our band of travelers to Raspy_Sleeper's cave in a reasonable amount of space - but then I got all inspired by Dante and added in all the tormented souls stuff. Plus each part ended up taking longer to play out than I imagined it would. I need to review it all - I might make a chapter break somewhere and re-name 15, then make chapter 16 Sleeper. Idk.

Cool and inneresting factoid time:


I'm going with Dante's description of Cerberus as a worm:


This image by legendary illustrator Gustave Dore comes close, but he still depicted the body as doglike. I wanted to go more wormy with it. It brings it away from the overdone three-headed dog thing and makes it strange and disturbing I hope.



And this really makes me laugh!

Some of you may have seen the little battle between myself and Heavy_Sleeper recently where he depicted himself as an anteater:


And the classic




Well, an anteater as you probably know is also known as an Aardvark (one of the most fun words to say in any language ).

This brings up yet another strange reverbration running through this story...

Because one of my favorite comic book characters is a furry little Aardvark named Cerebus (which is a common misspelling of Cerberus)(and on whom incidentally Alf was based):

Let me get this straight. My character will be Cerberus? The three headed guardian of the underworld? I would be very proud of that if it were not for the fact that you're going with Dante's depiction of Cerberus, which happens to be a massive, gluttonous worm that forever wallows in a pile of filth, gorging on any poor soul that should be unfortunate enough to cross its path.

You could have gone with the Greek version of Cerberus. Then I would be a powerful and terrifying beast. One whose very image causes the world's bravest heroes to cower in fear. A magnificent gatekeeper, that eternally guards the passage to the land of the dead.

...but no. I'm going to be a worm. Oh well. At least I get a part in the story. Let's have it.

Originally Posted by Heavy Sleeper

Let me get this straight. My character will be Cerberus? The three headed guardian of the underworld?

Well - no.

Actually we already passed Cerberus (DV Watchdog) just outside the cave - your character is sleeping on top of the pile of gold and silver at the very end of the last story segment just above. But - how do I say this without giving too much away.. he's - more than he seems. Much more. And I guarantee you'll like it.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Well - no.

Actually we already passed Cerberus (DV Watchdog) just outside the cave - your character is sleeping on top of the pile of gold and silver at the very end of the last story segment just above. But - how do I say this without giving too much away.. he's - more than he seems. Much more. And I guarantee you'll like it.

Well, thank God for that. This should be a fun read.

Goodness! I'm gone for three days, and come back to MASSIVE WALLS OF TEXT!?!? But very interesting and exciting walls of text. Loveitloveitloveit!