Ok, I've been getting ideas and junk together for a while now, and I've finally started to write my script. This is just the first couple scenes...and its a very rough draft...so don't judge too harshly. I would be very interested to hear what you guys think though. Funny? Shitty? Suggestions and analysis are welcome too.

DISCLAIMER: This doesn't take as long to read as you might think.
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Scene 1:

That movie opens with the main character sitting in a cheap coffee shop, staring into the camera. It’s morning. This is Stanley Dander.

STAN
(completely serious)
Enjoy the show.

The camera slowly rotates around the character until you see the other member of the conversation.

EX-GIRLFRIEND
Mildly disgusted look on face, pouring sugar into coffee
Why do you always have to be so fuckin’ dramatic?

STAN
Oh, go to hell. I’ll be as dramatic as I fuckin’ please. Now pass the sugar.

EX
You’d think the entire world was crashing down around you the way you act.
Shakes head, passes sugar
What the hell are you even talkin’ about anyways?

STAN
(annoyed)
I already explained it.
Takes a bite of toast, food in mouth
I feel like my entire fucking life is nothin’ but entertainment for everyone but me.

EX
(sarcastically)
You’re such a victim.

STAN
(passively)
Yeah, yeah.
Pours sugar into coffee
Enjoy the show, that’s all I’m sayin’

EX
Packing up things
Well I gotta go, thanks for the breakfast, maybe next time try to calm down a bit?

STAN
Whatever, have a good day at the ‘office’.
She sighs loudly and stands

EX
Fuck you Stanley.
Leaves

Bell jingles as she opens door. Stan takes a sip of coffee and glances out window. Ex gives him the finger as she walks by window, Stan chuckles to himself, takes a sip of coffee and continues to stare out the window.

A couple seconds pass, man walks past window (camera angle doesn’t change). Jingle of door is heard off to the side. Man comes and sits in empty seat across from Stan. This is Joel Hayes.

JOEL
Man, have you ever just stood and watched birds? There’s something goin’ on there that no one ever talks about.

STAN
Oh yeah?

JOEL
Yeah man. You never see it in the summer ‘cause the leaves get in the way, but in the fall, you can’t miss the little societies they have.

STAN
Societies?

JOEL
Next time you see a flock of birds all perched in a tree and shit, watch ‘em for a minute. Some of ‘em are grouped together like it’s a big party, others are sittin’ out on a limb by themselves.
(pauses to think)
You can’t help but feel sorry for the loner birds.

STAN
(bored, checks watch)
Of course not.

JOEL
I’m thinkin’ that the birds perched higher up in the tree are part of a more elite social class too.
(pauses to think)
And every once in a while a little scrap breaks out and some other birds have to come break it up.

STAN
Looks at Joel.
You’re persistent observation of the natural world never ceases to amaze me.

JOEL
Directly to Stan, pointing
If you can’t appreciate the social hierarchy and law-and-order methods of birds, there’s no hope for you man.
A couple seconds of silence pass as they stare at each other
So did you fuck her again?

STAN
(sighs)
Yeah…and I didn’t even want to, that’s the funny thing.
(Joel laughs)
But there’s no way you can stop that sort of thing once it starts, right? It’s completely beyond your control. I was sitting there, telling myself, “whatever you do, don’t have sex with this girl, you’ll only regret it”. But…here I am.

JOEL
(continues to chuckle)
I wish I had your problems man. Why would you take her out for breakfast anyways?

STAN
I don’t know, I’m a weak person Joel. Besides, I knew that you’d be in here eventually. Good timing by the way.

JOEL
Looks around
I’m fuckin’ hungry, have you eaten?
Both look down at half-eaten breakfast

End of Scene 1

Scene 2:

Stan and Joel are walking down city street past various shops and such, light, Sunday morning traffic passes by.

JOEL
So why don’t you two just get back together already? You have sex more often than any normal couple. And apart from that, relationships are just food and movies.

STAN
Joel, you don’t get it. I can’t stand the woman. Everything about her irritates me. Not that it’s her fault or anything, we just aren’t compatible. She knows it, I know it. The only thing we agree on is sex.

JOEL
Strange facial expression, discomfort, fidgeting with tongue.
Something’s wrong with my tongue dude, I have to keep moving it.

STAN
You’re fucked.

The two friends approach a street corner.

JOEL
Anyways man, I should really get going -- as if I have somewhere to be. Really though, you should break things off with her permanently, it’s not good for you. But that’s just my opinion, and I don’t really know. So, whatever.

STAN
Thanks for your input.
Joel looks up and down street
Enjoy the show man.

JOEL
Huh?

STAN
Nevermind. Have a good one.

JOEL
Later, Stan.
Walks off, yells without looking back
Call me later!

Joel leaves, Stan waits for lights to change so he can cross street, hands in pockets to keep warm.

End of Scene 2
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So that's it. The basic (very basic) outline of the movie is that the main character, Stan, is generally unhappy with the way his life is turning out (I wouldn't call him depressed though). From there it evolves into a story of (I hate to say it) self-discovery...but not in a retarded, cliched sense...more in a Sideways (if you've seen the movie) type of way with no real solid conclusion. And maybe some Kaufman-esque oddity along the way...I'm stick working out the details.