Untitled Poem

[Gwendolyn]

Hey, guys. As you might know already, I am an aspiring writer. I thought since I have nothing else better to do today, I should post one of my poems! If you had some serious criticism, I would love to hear it! Here it is.. Untitled Swallowed by the sanctuary Of my own self-conscienceness, I could spend my lifetime caught within The season of These never ending Saturday mornings Longing to see the evidence of life's Contemporary beauty. Could I study your countenance for an eternity, Or for just a few years at least? May I touch your spirit just once, So that I could Envision the true happiness We both lack without one another? Or is life made of that feeling? Give me a soft smile and a glance that's everlasting And I will be the gardener Of your ever-blooming heart.[/u]

[Burns]

Very nice. It's refreshing to hear poems that don't rhyme once in awhile. A lot of my favorite song lyrics don't rhyme but sound perfect. Well done!

[Gwendolyn]

Thank you, Burns. I don't really like a lot of the poems that rhyme. I think it restricts you too much in your choice of words....I don't like being restriced that way.

[Starlite]

I really enjoyed reading that. It reminded me of Sylvia Plath's style of writing poems...without the depression factor of course. A beautiful poem. I wish I could write like that. Thanks for sharing!

[Gwendolyn]

Thank you, Starlite. I really appreciate that.

[dudesuperior]

Hey that's really good! Much better than the stuff in the poetry books that I study in English

[Gwendolyn]

Originally posted by dudesuperior Hey that's really good! Much better than the stuff in the poetry books that I study in English Lol. Thanks, dude.

[boldtypespark]

Wow, thats refreshing. Ive had the misfortune of reading bad poetry in english lately. But that was great, would read it anytime! Amazing

[Gwendolyn]

Aww, thanks guys!

[Neruo]

Nice poem. And it's not emo, like most poems people make these days. Nice work!

[Gwendolyn]

Originally posted by Neruo Nice poem. And it's not emo, like most poems people make these days. Nice work! Lol. I am not an emo kind of chick. I don't make more drama in my life than is necessary. Thank you, Neruo.

[OpheliaBlue]

Originally posted by Gwendolyn Lol. I am not an emo kind of chick. I don't make more drama in my life than is necessary. one of the main reasons I like you so much very nice poem, would make a cool song actually /me goes to piano...

[Gwendolyn]

Thanks . If you want to make a song out of it, you can go right ahead, Ophie. I don't mind if you change the poem arond a bit...I love your beautiful voice.