> >Inane, Yes You Are...
> >
> >
> >Monday, Kitchen.
> >I'm holding your hand but you won't stop punching my face.
> >'Thanks' I say after each one.
> >Eventually I become unconscious.
> >
> >Tuesday, Park.
> >'I'll pay for you to get new teeth.'
> >'Thanks.'
> >I look at my old teeth in the palm of my hand, then I look back up at you.
> >'You look a little funny with the black eyes, swollen nose, fat lip,
> >bruised face and all those missing teeth.'
> >'Thanks.'
> >'No need to thank me. You earned them.'
> >
> >Wednesday, Restaurant.
> >'I'll have the Porterhouse Steak.'
> >'D'ya want fries or potatoes.'
> >'Potatoes please.'
> >'I'll have the soup.'
> >
> >Thursday, Dentist's.
> >'This is gonna hurt a little.'
> >'What are you gonna do?'
> >'I have to remove some of your teeth.'
> >'Can't you just straighten em and fix em up?'
> >'No. If we leave them they'll eventually go rotten and fall out and you'll
> >be in all kinds of trouble.'
> >'Oh.'
> >'So we'll take them out and fit new teeth.'
> >'New teeth? What like dentures?'
> >'No. Real teeth.'
> >'Where're the new teeth gonna come from.'
> >'Oh, uhh, we grow them on the back of mice.'
> >'What like that ear they grew on that mouse?'
> >'Exactly. Its quite a rare procedure because its expensive, lucky for you
> >your girlfriend said money's no object. She's pretty good to you huh?'
> >'Yeah, she knocked em out.'
> >
> >Friday, Sofa.
> >'So are you in much pain?'
> >I nod my head.
> >'You look pretty funny with your mouth all bandaged shut.'
> >I nod my head.
> >'So tomorrow your teeth will be usable?'
> >I shake my head and write on my pad:
> > Liquids for a week,
> > then boiled vegetables, etc, etc
> > steak in 3 months
> >'They're human teeth though right?'
> >I nod yes.
> >'Not like uhh.. real big mouse teeth?'
> >I nod no.
> > Grown from HUMAN DNA
> >'From your DNA?'
> > No, from someone with good strong teeth
> >'Better than your original teeth then?'
> >I nod yes.
> > Cleaned & bleached my remaining teeth so they'd match
> >'You're gonna look like Tom Cruise.'
> >I nod yes.
> >
> >Saturday, Dentist's.
> >'THEY LOOK LIKE BIG FUCKIN MOUSE TEETH.'
> >'Oh, uhh.. when the swelling goes down they'll look better.'
> >'You're trying to tell me the SHAPE will change?'
> >'Umm, don't worry they'll heal up real nice.'
> >'Will the shape change?'
> >'Yes.'
> >I hit the doctor in the face with a quick punch. He falls over some
> >equipment.
> >'WHAT the FUCK?'
> >The receptionist and my girlfriend come running in.
> >'YOU GOT MOUSE TEETH!'
> >She kicks the doctor in the stomach.
> >'You gotta fix him up.'
> >'He claims they'll look better in a few days.'
> >'You believe him?'
> >'I don't know.'
> >She kicks him again and I punch his receptionist square in the eye.
> >
> >Sunday, Bed.
> >I rollover.
> >'Let's see how your teeth are doing.'
> >I smile.
> >'Well?'
> >'MOUSE TEETH.'
> >'I'm gonna KILL him.'
> >'Don't worry we'll work something out.'
> >I move to kiss her. She recoils.
> >'Sorry... I uhh, can't kiss you like that.'
> >'The teeth?'
> >'YEAH THE TEETH.'
> >I punch her in the mouth again and again.


i don't know who wrote it.